Amy goes into INVADER ZIM! EPICNESS!
by Amy2421
Summary: ONE FAITHFUL NIGHT a huge tomboy, Amy, wakes up and finds 'dat ZIM AND DIB have invaded her house. GASPUS. ADVENTURES. DERP DERPIN DERP. VERY VERY RANDOM!  Some minor swearing in later chapters.
1. ZIM AND DIB IN DA HOUSE

A teenage girl sat at her computer, typing quickly. Her head dropped, and she lifted it suddenly.

This is Amy, the author of many stories. YOU SHOULD KNOW. She is in author form. Dur. (A/N When I am in author form, I live in a different world, were I am a very strange non-human girl, and I have a house and family.)

She glanced at the clock on her computer.

"Ur...midnight..." She said, and sighed. "If only my brain could stay up! Then I could continue." She glanced at her computer. "And If only my Internet did not shut down at night." She saved, and pressed the button shutting down her computer.

Amy took a shower, and brushed her teeth, and came out of the bathroom in a huge t-shirt from a blood drive place. She has a lot of them. Her pants were baggy, and reached past her knees, and soft white socks.

Amy peeked into her sisters room, and shut out the light. She Went back to her room, which was painted a bright yellow that she DESPISIED.

She grabbed a brush and ran it through her short, blond hair, and got in her bed.

She fell fast asleep.

BADAM!

Amy jerked awake, and slipped on her pikachu slippers. She snagged a flashlight, and flicked it on, grumbling about how batteries are stupid.

She was about to open the door, when she suddenly thought of something.

_Woah, Woah, Woah, what if there are MURDERS in my house?_ She thought. Amy was known to be terrified of bad people coming in her house. But that was because her parents did not allow her to handle guns. Bummerinno. Murders would fear HER if she had a gun.

Amy shrugged, and opened the door, shouting CHARGE!

She was surprised no one else woke up, but then again, her families were known for being sound sleepers. Especially her. But...then why did she wake up? Meh. She musta been half asleep.

She ran into her living room, scaring the living daylights out of the people in there.

She gasped. And dropped her flashlight. Large head kid. Alien.

"Great, Zim, now we have been seen, and we have crashed a hole in this persons house!" The large-headed kid said.

"This is YOUR fault, DIB!" The alien shouted.

Amy stopped moving, then shrieked.

"AUG! DID YOU BREAK IT, DIB?" Zim held his head were his ears would be.

They seemed to fit in, considering they were cartoons.

"OH MY FUZZODLES! FUDGE ME IF IM WRONG, BUT THE CAST FROM INVADER ZIM!" Amy shouted. Her green-blue-gray eyes were huger then ever before, and she hopped up and down. She stared at them, her heart fluttering, and she melted. "HES HOTTER IN REAL LIFE! OH MY GOSH MY ALL TIME CARTOON CRUSH! OTHER THEN ASH KETCHUM!"

Dib grinned. "Well, an admirer!"

"Er, no, big-head, I was talking about ZIM!" Amy said, squealing. "But you are cool to!"

Zim's face lit up. "A slave? Of ZIM?"

"YES! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY! OH MAN, IN AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE, WE ARE FRIENDS! SQUEE!" Amy glomped Zim, and latched on to him, holding on with all her might. "EKK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" She squealed.

Zim looked a little freaked out. "Er...wait, alternative universe?"

"IM NOT HUMAN!" Amy squealed. "I have the power to create new universes, and to come and go as I please! This is my original home, but me and my sister always knew we were different, and then we found out we are special race of life-forms called Epic Authors! We can create things in our universes magically! AND OH MY GOSH YOUR IN MY HOUSE!" She squeezed him harder.

"Wait...were are we?" Dib said.

"The BETTER earth, that I WILL RULE SOMEDAY! AND STEAL ALL THE PUPPEHS! MWHAHAHAH!" Amy laughed manically.

"Eh, thats more like it!" Zim said. "Anyone who is that evil is good in my book. BOOK OF EVIL!"

"YAY ZIMMEH LIKES MEH!" She squeezed him. Even harder.

"Your going to make my squeedlyspootch explode..." Zim groaned.

Amy released him quickly, then stared at Dib.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" He said, as Amy advanced on him. She ran to her kitchen, and Dib sighed. Zim watched with his signature look.

She grabbed her camera, and her own frying pan for her famous scrambled eggs. She ran back.

Dib stared at her. "Why do you have a-"

CLANG!

Dib saw stars.

Amy laughed evilly. "I have always, ALWAYS wanted to do that." She squeezed Dib tightly, then smacked him again. "I could do this all night!"

"And I thought you were going to embrace him." Zim said.

"What? No, he is mean to you!" Amy said. She looked at Zim, her eyes shining. Amy snapped a picture of him looking evil.

She squealed again. "How did you guys get here anyway?"

Zim glared at Dib.

Dib sighed. "I was searching around Zim's base, and accidentally turned on a machine when Zim cornered me."

"We were sucked inside, and sent flying through the air, into your wall! All because of Dib-smells stupidity!" Zim said.

Amy stared at Dib.

WHAM!

"BAD DIB! YOU NO GO INTO ZIMMEHS BASE!" She said.

"Lesson learned." Dib groaned.

"I can get you home, but on one condition." Amy said.

"WHAT?" Dib shouted. She raised the pan threateningly. He gulped and stepped back.

"I get to come with you." Her eyes shined. "New Invader Zim episodes!" She whispered to herself.

"WHAT EPISODES, HUMAN?" Zim said.

Amy started, because he was right next to her. He was so close she could see they were the same height. Sadly, Amy is on the short side of small.

"Oh, we dont even know your name!" Dib said.

"I'm Amy." Amy stuck a hand out to Dib, and just latched on to Zim again.

He cringed, and she let him go.

"Yes, Amy-human-" He started.

"Author." She corrected. "My name is Commander Author Amy, but you can call me Amy-Author." She beamed.

"Amy-Author, you may come." Zim said finally.

"But you have to help ME!" Dib said.

"No, She's going to help ZIM!" Zim said.

Amy watched them yell at each other. The first time boys fought over her. Sweet. And they were from her FAVE CARTOON! (Pokemon is not a cartoon!)

Amy ran to her room. She snagged her leather bag pack, which was silver, and she had drawn yellow spots on it, like her Irken form. She stuffed clothes and books and her drawing book and her laptop, her teddy bear and the sock monster she, Milly, and her mom had made together into it. She also stuffed soap, and shampoo, a brush and toothpaste and toothbrush.

She tore off her PJ's, and yanked on her pink shirt, and Overalls. She closed the clasp on her pokemon earrings, and hung her pikachu necklace on her neck. She yanked on her thick hiking boots, and pulled on black fingerless gloves. She unlocked a safe, and stuffed a taser into her bag.

Amy slung it over her back, and ran back.

"IM ALL READY!" She said.

The two stopped and looked at her.

"What is in that thing?" Dib said.

"Stuff." She said promptly.

Amy snapped her fingers, and whistled.

Molly ran to her.

"AUG! A DOG!" Zim shouted.

Molly looked at Amy.

'That Zim?' Her eyes said.

"Oh yeah." Amy said.

"Do not worry, I'm only going to get MIR." Amy said, and pressed a few buttons on a keypad on Molly's collar.

A wall slid away, and Amy put her hand on a scanner. She disappeared, then reappeared, holding a sleeping robot in her arms.

"Wha? HOW?" Zim said.

"I made her. This is MIR." Amy said. The little robot looked a lot like GIR, but her eyes were hot pink, and the rest of her colored things were dark blue.

Dib twitched. "Y-you have a robot?"

"You guys are a TV show." Amy said, after dismissing Molly.

"What is this TV? TELL ME!" Zim said.

Amy pointed to the TV, then got out her laptop.

She typed a few keywords, and Tak, the Hideous New Girl started playing on youtube, one of her favorite episodes.

Zim and Dib watched in wonder.

"What. Was. THAT?" Dib said.

"You guys were a TV show that got cancelled, by Nickelodeon."

Of course, Zim got mad. "WHAAAT? CANCEL ZIIIIM?"

"Hey, I like it. Good enough?"

"No."

"LOTS of people are crazy about it. This video had over 9,000 views!" Amy said.

"Thats a lot, right?"

"Yes." Amy said.

"VICTORY FOR ZIM!" Zim said.

"Is everyone ready to go?" Amy said.

"Er, yeah." Dib said.

BANG!

"What was that for?"

"I really dont know." Amy said, and shrugged. "Well, stand back."

Zim snickered at Dib, then stepped back.

Dib stepped back.

Amy closed her eyes, and kneeled down. She started to trace writing on the floor.

The words glowed, and suddenly, everything went black.

Amy opened her eyes, and gasped.

"I'M REALLY HERE!" She shrieked.

Zim rubbed his head.

"Are we at the base?" He said.

"My...head..." Dib said.

"Its big." Amy said.

"NO ITS NOT!"

"Anyway, so, you do I stay with?" Amy said slyly.

"ME!" Zim shouted.

"ME!" Dib shouted. Amy pulled her camera out and started to film.

Ten minutes later...

"Me..." Zim gasped out.

"M...fer..." Dib said.

"Zim wins." Amy said.

"AW MAN!" Dib said. He got a glint in his eye.

"If you throw water on me I will kill you." Amy said.

"Dang. Hey, if you are so crazy about us, why didn't you just come earlier?"

"I can't just go to a place in my normal form. I have to make myself look different! I can't just go to a place, unless characters from that place are with me. Eh, I'm still training my powers." Amy said. She shrugged. "And, I have to assume my characters personality, so I don't get the full intake of everything.

Suddenly she pulled out a camera, and snapped a picture of the Madness dog.

"Aw, its so cute!" She said. Suddenly, Amy froze.

"Amy?" Dib said.

"Amy-Author?" Zim said.

She raised a shaking finger to the house in front of them.

"Its just Zims house!" Dib said.

"Stupid Dib, she loves the AMAZING ZIM and all his AMAZING things!" Zim said, with an 'everyone-knows-that' tone of voice.

Amy whirled around. "WHERE. IS. GIR?" She squealed. The robot she was holding moved.

"Mmm? Did I just hear GIR is somewhere?" It said.

Zim and Dib watched as it jumped up.

"GIR? GIR?" MIR called.

The little robot with blue eyes peeked out of the house, then squealed.

"GIR!" MIR squealed.

She ran up to him.

"Eh, She loves GIR." Amy shrugged. "I'm more of a Zim person myself. ZIM FOR DA WIN!"

Zim gave Dib a smug look. "The girl likes me best." He said.

Dib groaned. Amy also gave him a smug look.

"Come on, let us go into my AMAZING base!" Zim said.

"But what about me?" Dib said.

CLANG.

"I-I'll just walk..." He said. Amy twirled the pan on her finger.

She squealed, and ran up to the house.

"Welcome home son!" The robo-parents said.

"EEK!" Amy shrieked happily, and snapped a picture.

"Do you want to wake everyone up?" Zim said.

"Yes, actually." Amy said.

She stepped inside, and took a sharp breath.

And covered her mouth to keep from screaming. "ITS SO AWSOME!"

Her eyes shined. Amy bounced around the house.

She snapped pictures of everything.

"HIA MISTRESS OF MIR!" GIR tackled her.

"HI GIR!"

"MASTA!" MIR said. Amy had never fixed that glitch, she always called her Masta. Weird. But cute.

"LAB! THE LAB!" Amy pointed at the toilet and jumped.

"Alrig-" Zim said, but Amy was halfway down before he could finish.

She stared in wonder at everything. And snapped pictures. She stopped.

"What is it?" Zim asked.

She pointed at a picture of the tallest. "BLEH! I dont like them. THEY MEAN TO ZIMMEH!"

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow. This girl was _weird_.


	2. Into A STORY

**Yes, this story has chapters. Its not gonna be that long, but just hang in there!**

Amy finally started to calm down.

"Eh, I'm okay." She said.

"Took you a good earth hour." Zim said.

"Bleh." Amy said. She glanced around. "Where's MIR?"

"With GIR, making waffles."

"REALLY?" Amy shrieked happily.

Zim cringed.

"Sorry!" Amy said. "I'm...just...SQUEE!"

She jumped a foot in the air as the transmitter beeped.

"Woah! That startled...me..." Her voice got softer. "I-is t-that the thing you use to call the T-tallest?" Her face was evil, so evil it creeped Zim out a bit.

"Er...yeah...DON'T TOUCH IT!"

"Man, I wanted to yell at them. BAD." She said. Amy pouted.

"Well, I am not going to risk getting them angered at me!" Zim said. "Now, tell Zim more about this...TEEVEE SHOW."

"But I did already..." It occurred to Amy that Zim had no idea what any of those earth things are.

Amy thought for a moment. She raised a finger, and a chair appeared. She sat. YEAH FOR AUTHOR POWERS!

"See, All of what you have been doing, its a show in my world. A TV show is something people watch for entertainment. Many years ago, in 2001, it was a show on Nickelodeon."

Zim gave her a blank look.

"Nickelodeon is a TV channel with lots of kids shows. Nowadays, most of its shows I wouldn't SPIT on, but it was pretty good back then. I don't remember much about it back then, I was young. It was not as popular as other shows, and Nick canceled it in 2002."

"NICK? MY EXPERIMENT?" Zim shouted.

"Eh? No, Nick means Nickelodeon. Oh wait...heh. Anyway, lots of people were actually really upset that it got cancelled. Now, nine years later, its REALLY popular online, and their are many groups working on bringing it back. Operation head pigeons is harassing Nickelodeon, trying to get them to make new episodes. I feel a little bad for Nick, but I like OHP's spunk. Some other groups are working on animating unfinished episodes, ones that were supposed to be after the Christmas special, but were never finished because the show was cancelled after the Christmas special."

Zim stared at her. "What is the name of my AMAZING show? TELL ME!"

"Invader Zim. Dur."

"Christmas was a mouth ago!" Zim said.

"WHAT?" Amy said.

"Eh, I have been mainly avoiding Dib most of the time." Zim said. Amy jumped up.

"Then...then...Invader Zim can't continue without more episodes! THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS...IS...INVADER ZIM!" Amy said, Sparta style. "Ahem. Well, I can't draw very well, so I have not been able to help with any of the animating. But I do write stories for a place called 'Fanfiction.' People can read them, and review. LOTS of people write stories for fanfiction, and Invader Zim is a popular Fandom, or topic. I like to go into my stories, and monitor them, in case something that's not supposed to happen happens."

"Yes, tell Zim more about this...FANFICTION."

"Hmm...I write mostly OC stories, actually, they all are, because I'm the kind of person that watches something, and comes up with a new character while watching it. Yes, I know its weird." Amy shrugged. "Hmm...A fandom is a place were people put their stories, like an Invader Zim story goes into the Invader Zim fandom. Their are pairings-" Amy stopped.

"WELL?" Zim said.

"NOTHING!" Amy shrieked. "YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW!"

"WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS IT?"

"LISTEN DUDE, YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!"

"I think I do!"

Amy gulped. She pulled her laptop out, and logged on to fanfiction. She went to the Invader Zim fandom, and found a certain community. ZADR.

"This, is it. " She clicked on a ZADR oneshot. "And If you break my laptop I will be mad. Its all I got to get on the internet here, after my EVIL netbook died." She said. (A/N Long story...PURE EVIL NETBOOK...the thing hated my guts!)

She held it in front of Zim. His eyes darted across the words. Amy braced herself.

"WHAT?" Zim shouted.

"Told you it was bad." Amy said. She put her laptop on her knees.

Zim started freaking out.

"THATS JUST WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? AUG! FILTHY, DISGUSTING, SMELLY, HIDEOES HUMANS!"

"I agree...More or less. Their are also ZaTr, DaTr, ZaGr, GaGr, RaPr, GaMr, and a few more I think."

"What-I DONT WANT TO KNOW!" Zim caught himself.

"Zim and Tak romance, Dib and Tak Romance, Zim and Gaz romance, Gaz and GIR romance." Amy shuddered. "Red and Purple romance, and GIR and MiMi romance." She smiled smugly.

Zim looked like he was going to be sick.

"Scared of me?" She said.

"Wha...NO!" Zim said. "Though I admire your style." Amy shrugged.

"Eh, I have to torment my brother back if he torments me. I'm, like made to do it." She said.

She looked down at her laptop, and shuddered. "Thankfully, I don't really support any romances." She sighed. "Except for a little ZaTr." She said under her breath.

"Eh?"

"Nothing!" She said quickly. Amy clicked to her profile. "Sweet, got a review on that." She said.

"What are you doing?"

Amy looked up, and realized she forgot to show Zim this. She got a little freaked out.

"M-my fanfiction." She stammered.

"Why is your face red? Do you have human germs?" Zim said.

Amy was blushing. "No! Its just blush..."

"WHAT IS THIS...blush?"

"Er...its when blood rushes to your face...I'm not to sure, I sleep through health classes."

Amy tried to close the laptop.

"What are you not showing ZIM?" Zim said, and she stopped.

"I doubt your gonna like my stories." She said, and closed it. "I've got a lot of them. When I go into stories, I can watch, or BE my characters. In other universes, I AM in the stories, and I live through the entire thing. Years go by, but when I come back to the real world, it was only five minutes." Amy shrugged.

"Show me!"

Amy looked at him. "W-what?"

"Prove it!"

"But I did when I brought you back here..."

"Show ZIM!" Zim commanded.

Amy opened her laptop.

"Alright, I'm going to start a story. I'm making this up as I go, so stay with me. Get behind me, and wait until I say NOW!"

Zim was not used to doing what others said, so he hesitated. Amy gave him a come-on-this-was-your-idea-so-we-are-doing-it-if-you-want-it-or-not look.

He got behind her.

She started to type, and her fingers flew across the keys.

It read...

It was a sunny day at the Skool, and everyone was in a good mood. Except Dib. His plans to expose Zim were still failing, and he had been called crazy more then ever nowadays. Dib took his seat. Zim strode in, looking important.

"He's an alien." Dib said weakly.

"YOU LIE!" Zim said.

No one paid attention, and Dib sighed. He glanced over at Zim. Then at the lunch schedule. It was like a lightbulb came above his head.

Zim glanced down. Amy's eyes begin to glow, which was a little creepy. The words glowed shortly after. Amy got up. She slung on her backpack, and waited.

A portal appeared, in front of the laptop.

"NOW!" Amy said. She jumped in.

Zim hesitated.

"ARE YOU SCARED?" Amy's voice echoed from inside.

"ZIM IS SCARED OF NOTHING!" He pushed himself inside.

The inside was green and blue, and swirled.

Amy was floating, and drinking out of a juice box when he reached her.

"Where-"

"From the mini fridge." Amy pointed, and a floating mini fridge was following them. "Its got Irken sodas."

Zim looked confused, but he opened it, and was surprised to see a bunch of drinks, and frozen waffles.

"Wha-"

"I have no idea." Amy said. She was in a position where she was floating on her back, one arm was behind her head, and her legs were crossed.

"Right now, we are in a portal that will take us to the beginning of the story."

"This portal was not here before!" Zim said, suspiciously.

"Because I was using one of the quicker portals then. I used this one right now just to bug you, because I know you don't like to wait."

Zim was mad at first.

"Bug ME?"

"Yup. Plus, lots of weird things can appear here, because its one that's commonly used by Epic Authors. I'm guessing that's were the mini-fridge came from. Though the Irken Drinks are kinda weird." She shrugged, and casually drank her juice.

Five minutes later, they came to doors. LOTS of them.

They could walk too, on a black floor. Amy walked by each door.

She stopped at a white one.

"This one." She said, and opened it.

She leaned against it, looking bored.

"I dont have all day-okay, yes I do, Just hurry!" She said. Zim stopped.

"You first." He said. She shrugged, and stepped inside. Zim followed.

Suddenly, they were outside, it was sunny, and the skool was in front of them. Amy looked up.

"We are here." She said.

Suddenly, a bunch of kids ran through them. Yes. Through them.

Zim was freaked out, but Amy looked fine.

"They can't see, hear, or touch us." She said. "We can Hear, See, and Touch THEM. I like to freak Dib out sometimes when I'm here." She strolled up the steps.

Zim followed.

"You still have no proof." He said.

She walked into a room.

Zim walked in, recognizing the room number.

Amy stopped.

Zim gaped.

She gave him a smug look as he freaked out.

Story-Zim was yelling at Story-Dib that he lies. Dib looked tired.

Zim turned to look at Amy.

"Told you so." She said simply.

Story-Dib looked over at Zim, and the food schedule.

He had an idea.

"If you want, you can know what they are thinking." Amy said. "Just looked at one of them and you should be able to hear them."

She glanced at Story-Zim.

"Z-I mean, Story-You is thinking about frying Dib with a laser later today." She said.

Real-Zim stared at the story him, and he could hear himself.

'Stupid Dib! Still trying! Hah! I will vaporize him later, that should solve everything!' Story-Zim burst out evil laughing, and this time the kids stared at him.

Amy grabbed some chalk, and started writing on the board.

It said: I AM A GHOST. DIB! DIB! DIB! DIB YOUR TIME HAS COME!

Dib saw it.

"THAT CHALKS MOVING BY ITSELF!" He shouted, and Amy quickly erased it and dropped the chalk.

"Your crazy!" Aki said.

Amy snickered.

Dib growled.

"I do things like that a lot." Amy said.

Zim gave her a strange look.

"What?"

"Why is the Dib looking STRAIGHT at us?" Zim said.

Amy turned. "Hes staring at Ms. Bitters." She said, turning back to Zim.

He yelped, and jumped away as Ms. Bitters slithered near him, she turned away from.

Amy giggled. Ms. Bitters turned.

"Uh-" Zim started, as he saw Ms. Bitters could see them because she knew were he was.

"That woman's REALLY creepy. Therefore, she can see us." Amy said.

"I didn't make the rules." She said, when Zim was about to get mad. "Besides, she doesn't care." Amy shrugged.

"Why not?"

"Because we have nothing to do with her. Were not our students. And we are not from here. As long as we don't do anything to stop her from doing her thing, she just ignores us."

"How do you know?"

"I read her mind lots of times. Its the same thing every time." Amy said. She sat down on the windowsill.

"I brought cubed cheese." Amy said. She pulled a plate from her bag, covered in plastic. "Its zit-free." She said, as Zim opened his mouth to say something.

"Its really creepy when you do that." Zim said.

"Eh, I know, all the story Zim's I have met think the same thing." Amy said, and ate a cheese cube. "Want some?"

Zim stared at her. He sat down. "Eh, why not?"

They watched the class take place.

"Its strange seeing myself, but knowing I am myself." Zim said.

"I guess it should be. This is the first time I brought someone other then my brother and Milly into a story. And they are not in my storys." Amy looked around. "Heh." She picked up a cheese cube, and aimed. She threw it at Dib.

"HUH? WHAT HIT ME? IS IT THE GHOST?" Dib said.

"Your crazy." Zita said.

Amy laughed. She glanced around. "Got anything heavy and painful in that PAK of yours?" She said.

"Er...a rock?" Zim said.

"Good." He gave it to her, and she wrote something on it, then aimed.

It landed on Dib's desk. It was visible.

Dib stared at it, and turned it over.

He read it, then turned red.

Zita grabbed it.

"It says, 'This is the squirrel people. Make the crazy boy leave class, and go to the principal. His head it to big.'" The class laughed.

Amy gave Zim a sly smirk, and she slid off the windowsill.

"Dib, go to the principal." Ms. Bitters said.

"But...But..." Dib said.

"Take the giant hall pass." Ms. Bitters said.

"HA to you, HYOO-MAN!" Story-Zim said.

Dib groaned.

Amy followed him, holding the plate. Real Zim followed.

She held the plate to Zim, and he took some more.

Dib suddenly turned, when they were in an empty hallway.

He stared straight at them. Zim was about to jump, but Amy but her hand out.

He stopped.

Amy stared at Dib.

"I'm LETTING him see us." She whispered. "Lets make him LITERALLY crazy." Her grin was evil.

"Nice plan."

She nodded.

"W-who are you?" Dib said. "I-is that Zim?"

"Er...No, its a...clone!" Amy said. Zim gave her a look. "What? Its the only thing I could think off."

"Who are YOU?" Dib said.

"I AM YOUR FATHER!" Amy suddenly said.

"What?"

"Just kidding. We are...ghosts." Amy said.

"Er, what the Author said." Zim said.

Dib stared at them. "You did those things."

"Duh. But not the squirrel people. They find your head blocking their acorn sun." Amy said.

"Because its BIG!" Zim said.

"My heads not big!" Dib said.

Amy snapped her fingers, and a measuring tape measured his head.

"According to my calculations, your head is BIG." She said.

She smirked.

Zim stared at Dib for a moment.

He grinned evilly, and whispered something to Amy. She nodded, and he left for a moment.

Dib stared at Amy.

He pulled out a vacuum cleaner.

"Like thats going to work." Amy scoffed.

He switched it on, and Amy smirked. She stayed in her spot, not moving, for five minutes.

"Wha?" Dib said.

"I'm not a normal ghost." She glanced behind her. "Appears we have company."

Real Zim ran down the hall, and he stopped next to her, and had an evil grin plastered on his face.

Footsteps echoed, and Story Zim appeared. He looked ticked.

Real Zim and Amy exchanged a glance, and Amy snickered. She had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

"Dib!" Story Zim shouted.

"Zim? What did they tell you?"

"Your little pitiful plan, Earth Smell!" Story Zim said.

"I really sound like that?" Real Zim said.

Amy just nodded. "More cheese?" She held out the plate.

"Yeah."

They watched.

"Wh-what?" Dib said.

"These ghosts told me your 'plan', Dib!" Story Zim said again. "So I called GIR to get a food-proof suit."

"Yeah, good luck with that!" Amy called. "I think I can help you there."

Story Zim looked at Real Zim, who gave a slight nod.

Amy snapped her fingers, and a suit that was thick and covered the whole body appeared next to Story Zim.

"It turns invisible when put on." She said.

Story Zim smirked at dib, and jumped into the suit, that turned invisible as soon as he zipped it up.

Amy grinned.

"Do you really need to snap your fingers?" Real Zim asked.

"Eh, no, but it adds to the epicness." Amy said. She shrugged. "Dib, the squirrel people sent us!" She said.

Suddenly, a bunch of squirrels ran in and attacked Dib.

Amy stared. "Thats weird. I did not do that."

She burst out laughing at Dib, and fell on the floor.

"All I need is my pan!" She said. Her eyes lit up, and she pulled it out of her bag.

Story Zim opened his mouth.

"I don't' really know." Real Zim said.

Amy aimed, and threw the pan.

CLANG!

IZIZIZIZIZ

Amy waved to Story Zim, and sort of saluted her.

"What the heck was THAT?" She said.

"Irken salute." Zim answered casually.

"Strange."

They day had been crazy, Dib started a food fight, but Story Zims suit protected him, and Dib got in trouble.

Amy and Real Zim got on Dib's nerves, and they enjoyed every second of it.

"So, what gave you the idea to talk to your story self?" Amy asked.

"To torment Dib!" Zim said.

Amy laughed. She started to size Zim up. "Your taller then you look in the show." She said. "I'm shorter then you!"

Zim looked proud for a moment.

"Okay, here." Amy said. She bent down, and started to write in the dirt.

They went through the portal again, and were back.

Zim looked at the time.

"One minute has passed!" He said

"Yeah. So, I'm about to pass out here from sleep deprivation, so don't be freaked out." Amy said. She grinned, then suddenly fell on the sofa, asleep.

MIR walked in, and looked at Amy.

"Yawn...waffles are done." She said, and curled up next to Amy.


	3. INSANENESS

Chapter three: INSANE SUGER HIGHS! And...RUN!

K, really long chappy. BUT EPIC! TOOK ME A DAY TO TYPE!

Zim glanced at Amy. She was still asleep, but she moved around a lot. The SIRs were under the sofa.

"Computer, I'm going to human Skool. Don't let her leave, and if she does any writing video tape it. I can't be too sure if I can trust her yet. DON'T LET HER INTO THE LAB. Don't let her touch anything!"

"Zim, didn't you trust her?" The Computer said.

"I thought about it last night." Zim said. "She can't be trusted yet. NOW ZIM LEAVES!"

"But-"

Slam.

"Arg."

IZIZIZIZIZ

Amy rubbed her eyes.

She sat up, wondering why her bed was so hard, and why the heck did her head hurt. (It always did when she went into portals. Its like a side-affect. She's working on stopping it.)

Her vision cleared.

"Huh? Zim's hou-oh." She said, remembering. She glanced at the time. 7:00.

Eh. She usually got up earlier. Must have been tired.

Amy stood up.

"MIR? MIR?" She called.

"I'm here." MIR said, from under the sofa.

"Wha...?"

"GIR and I are getting dust bunnies! And eating them!" MIR said.

"They taste like chicken!" GIR said.

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Thats nice. Were is Zim?"

"Master went to Skool. He said to not leave, and don't touch ANYTHING! But I am touching floor! Yay!" GIR said.

Amy sighed. "Man, I wanted to go. Ah, well, I'm on a mini-vacation! Yeah! You got any food?" She asked GIR. "I totally crave peanut butter on toast."

"In the kitchen!" GIR said.

Amy glanced down. "Need to get cleaned up first."

She glanced around. "Any real bathrooms?"

"Er, no." The computer said.

"Oh, Hi! Computer!" Amy said.

"Hi?"

"Erm...could you like, make a real bathroom...that you can't see inside of?"

"Zim's gonna get mad."

"I can handle him." Amy shrugged.

"Okay. Hang on."

A door appeared on the wall. Crashing sounds were heard behind it.

Amy opened it. A bathroom with all the works. "Nice." She said. "Now, you can't see anything in here?"

"Nope." The Computer said.

"You better not. I'll freaking rip your wires out with my bare hands if you are lying. AND "

"I really can't!"

"Let me check." Amy closed her eyes. She mentally searched the computers settings. "Your clear."

She walked inside, and closed the door. She listened through it.

"I don't even WANT to see in there!" The Computer said.

"Masta's really paranoid. And powerful. She beat up a kid way older then her when she was in second grade. And in one universe, were I'm real, she killed many enemies." MIR said. "LIKE BOOM CHIKA WAKA BLAM!"

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy walked out, her hair still a little wet. And not combed. She hates combing it. But, out of habit, she brushed it as she walked to the sofa.

She was wearing a white t-shirt, with a black dog on the front. She wore navy blue cargo pants that reached just below her knees, and had white socks on. She had put her pokemon earrings in already, and she put her old clothes into her bag. Amy slid on black fingerless gloves, and slapped on her special pokemon hat that looked like Ash's in season one. She pulled on hiking boots, and tied them tight.

"How did you get those new clothes?" The computer said. "I thought you only wore one outfit."

"I beamed them from home. And eww, I only have four pairs of overalls, so I need to save them. But I always wear them when I can. And I'm not a COMPLETE fashion dunce, I have other clothes." Amy said simply.

"What about towels and stuff?"

"Beamed them. Among other things." Amy said.

"Like-"

"DONT SAY IT!"

"What the big deal about- "

"I WILL EAT YOUR WIRES!" Amy shouted. She was enraged. "Don't mention it, or I will make your life worth NOTHING!" Fire appeared behind her. She had HUGE fangs. "I KEEL YOU!"

If The computer had a face, it would be O.O.

"Sheesh, I never knew Zim's Computer was so...MESSED UP!"

"I was just trying to-"

"I FORGIVE YOU!" Amy said. Happy face.

"What is with this kid?" The Computer said.

"She's not like anyone else." MIR said. "Being a teen has not helped. Her mood swings are insane."

"INSANE? I'M INSANE!" Amy suddenly stopped, pulled a bottle out of her bag, and took two pills. She drank some water that appeared, and smiled. "Better." She said.

"Uh..."

"I have a disorder that makes me SUPER hyper if I don't take my pills. Its called ADHD, its worse then ADD." She threw her hands up. "ADHD FOR DA WIN!"

"Oh."

Amy glanced around. "What is there to do around here?"

"Be bored." Computer said.

Amy glanced around. "Lab." She said, with a grin. "I wanna make something explode."

"Yeah, I think Zim will get mad." The computer said. Amy thought for a moment.

"Oh! Yeah! Food!" Amy said.

"We don't really have anything..."

"Hm." Amy said. "What do you guys want?" She turned.

"WAFFLES AND BACON!" They shouted.

MIR crawled to GIR's head. She was much smaller then him, about half his size. She sat on his head, and they laughed.

"Scrambled eggs?" Amy asked.

"YES OH HOLY CIRCUITS YES!" MIR shouted.

"You want some GIR?" Amy asked.

"YEAH!" GIR said.

"You?"

"I can't eat." The Computer said.

"I can fix that." Amy snapped her fingers, and a sort of hole appeared in the wall. "I present the food hole. No applause please, just throw checks and puppies."

Amy walked to the kitchen. She pulls her pan out. She was cooking because she was too lazy not to.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy finished, and put the eggs on plates. She turned off the stove she poofed up, and put the bacon on a plate. She got the toast from the toaster she also poofed up, and made peanut butter appear on it. She put the waffles in a stack.

Amy walked into the room, with a rolling table.

She put a stack of bacon on MIR and GIR's egg plates, and put two waffles on top of the whole shebang.

"Eat hearty." She said.

Amy walked over to the food hole.

"You sure about this?" The Computer said. Amy poured food down in. "...HOLY COW I CAN TASTE!"

"Dur."

Amy took her plate, and sat down.

IZIZIZIZIZ

"Who knew you could cook?" The Computer said.

"I use instructions for the bacon. The eggs are my recipes."

"So, this is really a show?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"What time is it?"

"8:30."

"Holy Cheezewhiz." Amy said. "I'm bored."

"I always am." The Computer said.

"I need music." Amy said.

"To sing to?"

"HECK no, I sing like a drunk tomato with rabies." Amy said.

"Really?"

"I can sing in a deep voice pretty well. Other then that I suck. SUCK ORANGES."

Amy opened her laptop. She got onto youtube, and found some of her fave songs.

"I'm gonna write a bit, Kay?"

"Sure...what music are you playing?"

"Skillet. It's an epic Hard Rock band." Amy said, calmly. Then threw her hands up. "SKILLET FOR DA WIN!"

"Why do you do that?" The Computer said.

"What?"

"That...da win thing." The Computer said.

"Oh, I do that when I like something. Like, I'll usually say ZIMMEH FOR DA WIN when I'm talking with someone about Invader Zim. The show. Its fun to do, I started it a few weeks ago." Amy said.

"Oh."

Amy opened word. And clicked on the video.

**Music started, hard rock music. That is Epic.**

Amy was typing quickly, sometimes correcting a misspelled word. But she forgets a lot of things, cause her grammar is bad. Meh. SHES WORKING ON IT!

The SIR's came over.

MIR nudged GIR.

"She's writing!" MIR whispered. "See her blank eyes? She's lost in thought!"

GIR poked Amy. She did not react.

The Computer was silent. It was videoing Amy.

She appeared to be a robot. MIR climbed up and sat on her shoulder, and GIR followed.

"See how fast she types? She got a typing program a year ago and it helped her type fast! She got it just before she got her fanfiction." MIR said.

"So?" GIR said.

"She made me when she got her account!" MIR said happily.

Everyone was silent.

Amy glanced up. "Oh, its you guys." She looked down.

Silence.

Amy stopped for a moment. She glanced around, trying to remember were she was.

"Oh!" She remembered. "Got lost there."

"Is he home yet?" She asked.

"No, only a minute has passed!" The Computer said. 

"Fish cakes." Amy sighed.

"How much did you write?" MIR asked.

"A paragraph. The hardest part is thinking of ideas. I usually let the ideas flow...but...sometimes, they suck, so I delete them. OH SNAP!" Amy's face darkened.

"WHAT?" The computer said.

"Something...awful..." Amy moaned.

"WHAT? WHAT?"

MIR smiled. She knew what was coming.

"WRITERS BLOCK!" Amy said. Dramatic music. "NOOOOOOO!"

"Its just writers block..." The Computer said.

"I. NEVER. GET. WRITERS. BLOCK! That often..."

"I gots solution!" GIR said. "BANG YOUR HEAD!"

Amy banged her head on the table. Her eyes went swirly.

"Enemy..." Her speech was slurred. She snapped her fingers. "I got it! BANGING WORKS!" She threw her hands up. "BANGING FOR DA WIN!"

Bang!

"Idiot...powers..."

Bang!

"Giant... Taco..."

Bang!

"Potato..."

Amy typed rapidly.

A little while later...

Amy pumped her fist in the air.

"VICTORY FOR MEEE!" She cheered. MIR and GIR left the Wii. "I WROTES STORY!"

She twisted her hat back.

"Yeah! I got a story!" She held her laptop out, and MIR appeared in her pose.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"Whew, random pokemon moment." Amy laughed.

She suddenly slumped. "I'M BOREEEED!" She said.

She glanced around and sighed.

"I wanna go out!" She whined.

"But-" Computer started.

"Comeeeeee onnnnn!" Amy whined.

"No-"

"UWAHHHHH- I could do this all day-HHHHHHH-breath- UWAHHHHH-" Amy kept on going for five minutes.

"-Breath-UWAHHHHH-"

"OKAY! But Zim told me not to let you leave!"

"SCREW RULES I WANT THE MADNESS DOG!" Amy said.

She put her backpack on. "MIR, I left the suit I made you on the table." Amy said.

"Okay!"

Amy waited for the door to unlock. It did, and she stepped out. She glanced around, shrugged, and jumped on the gnome's heads to the other side.

She landed on the fence, and she jumped down.

Amy saw a store nearby, and went to it.

"McMeaties, huh? Napkin meat..." Amy shuddered. "Eww. No way."

She ordered a burger still, by walking to the drive thru.

"One burger."

"Anything else?"

"No." She paid.

"You look strange."

Amy looked down. What? She looked just like she did back home... Oh. She looked normal, in a cartoon. Dur.

"I'm...er...a figment of your sick imagination." Amy said.

"Oh." The guy said. He threw away his coffee. Amy got her burger, and walked to a park.

"Come on Madness..." She muttered.

She tore up the bread and threw it for the birds. They walked up to her.

"That's weird." She muttered.

She scooted away from them.

Suddenly, the Madness dog walked up. The birds flew away.

Amy snapped a picture. "Its so KYOOT!" She said, going fan girl. She threw the burger down. The Madness dog got close enough for her to get a good look at it. She took more pictures. The Madness Dog was her Sixth favorite Invader Zim Character, after Dib. Yeah, she liked Dib, but he annoyed her a lot.

She threw her hands up. "Madness dog for DA WIN!"

After a while, it left. Amy glanced around.

"Hmm...ANGRY MONKEY!" She pointed at a TV store and ran up, each screen was showing the Angry/Scary Monkey show. She threw her hands in the air. "ANGRY/SCARY MONKEY FOR DA WIN!"

She stared at it, and finally left after awhile.

Amy looked at the time.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Zim was lost in thought. He had not told the computer the real reason he wanted her to stay at the base.

The thing yesterday WAS amazing, he had to admit, but, Zim being Zim, he was paranoid.

He nervously looked at the clock. Lunchtime.

He stood up.

Zim went to the bathroom first.

"Computer!" He called on his mike.

"Yes, Zim?"

"Is she with you?"

"No, she left."

"WHAT?"

"No, GIR, DON'T DO THAT!" The Computer was cut off.

Zim growled. And went to lunch.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy gulped down her pizza, and left her tip at Bloatys.

"Worst Pizza I have ever tasted." She muttered. "YAY!" She said happily.

She walked out.

She glanced around. Suddenly, the full realization hit her.

She. Was. In. INVADER ZIM. She was in the TOWN. The TOWN that Zim destroyed a lot!

She threw her hands in the air and shrieked. Amy ran around screaming like a maniac, and stopped at an Ice Cream parlor. She opened the door.

"Double Chocolate with chocolate chips!" Amy said. She threw her hands up. "CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM FOR DA WIN!"

"Merf." The guy said. Amy paid.

The whole time, she had poofed up money when she wanted it. So, these people are going to find that some money has disappeared when she goes home.

She left, with the ice cream. Who even gets Ice Cream in winter?

She realized no one seemed to notice she was not in skool.

Amy bit in her ice cream, causing her two huge front teeth to ring with coldness.

She turned into a chibi, with ball hands and feet and she was flailing and shouting COLD and her eyes were an X.

She finished the cone.

Amy looked around. "What else..." She said. "TACOS!"

She ran to the Crazy Taco.

"2 regular tacos with the works, 10 taco shells, and meat, put cheese on the meat and then the meat goes in a separate bowl!"

Er, yeah. She likes taco meat, but she likes cheese on it. She likes shells, but without meat. Just the shells. Amy was like that. She liked cooked broccoli, but not raw broccoli. She liked raw carrots, but not cooked carrots. She liked lettuce, but just lettuce. Alone. Little lonely lettuce leaves.

And no one calls her picky, because she will eat almost anything other then that. Yay for food.

Amy paid, and ate the meat first. She took a swing of water; she hated sodas, and then started nomming on the taco shells.

Amy put the tacos in a take-out bag for MIR and GIR She put it inside a lunchbox that she clipped to the outside of her bag.

She left, looking for other things to do.

"Meh... Meh... Meh...Meh..." She said, passing by each store.

She finally stopped at a sweet shop. Her eyes widened.

"GIVE ME ALL YOUR CHOCOLATES!" She shouted. The guy gave her a look. "I got money."

She bought 20 of each chocolate. And left. She threw her hands up. "CHOCOLATE FOR DA WIN!"

No adults. Heh. Amy shoved lots of them in her mouth, and ate them. She saved some for her friends in a separate bag, that she put in her lunchbox.

She shoved the rest of hers into her mouth.

Chew...swallow...

Amy started to shake.

Suddenly, she burst out running, shouting SUGGGGGERR HIGHHH. She was going SUPER FAST.

She grabbed her pan and smacked random people.

Amy ran by people, shouting OH EM GEE STUFF, and I LIEK TEH PIE, and I HAS TEH PROBLEMS, and I HAS TEH PICKLES IN MUH BRAIN, and POTATO CAKE YUMMEH, and among other things to random to show. I'll show one, I HAS TEH PURPLE ELEPHANT IN MUH EAR AND TEH PURPLE SINGING MONKEH IN MUH GUTS.

She stared at a gumball machine. "GIVE MEH GUMMYS!" She shook it, and grabbed the gumballs that came out. The owner came out.

She spit the gum at him. "YOUR GUMMYS SUCKS!" She shouted, and ran.

Amy stole a motorcycle and rode up buildings, flipping in the air and hopping off in front of the owner. "HERE I DONE!" She kicked his shin and ran. The motorcycle suddenly cracked into a million pieces. The owner shouted NOOOOO!

She glomped random people, including a giant bird.

She glared at an old lady. "I KEEL YOU!" she shouted.

Amy pointed at a baby. "I NO WANT!"

She pointed at a guy with a skateboard. "I NO LIEK UR FACE!" She threw a tomato at him.

She stopped, reading a book with huge glasses on. She licked her finger and turned a page. She looked up. "Interesting."

Amy burst out running again. Some guy called the cops.

"Some insane girl is out here!" He said.

"So? We got 20 calls already. This town does not care about insane kids, except for that Dib kid." The police operator said.

"WHAT?"

Amy picked up on another line. "LOLWHUT?" She shouted, and slammed it down.

"She will go away." The operator said. "We don't handle them, they don't go to jail. Except for Dib. Just ignore her." He hung up. (A/N Typical Invader Zim town, ha!)

Amy stole a yo-yo. She tried to use it. "SCREW THIS I'M GOING TO NEW JERSEY!" She shouted, and threw it at a sumo wrestler. It was lost in his fat.

Amy suddenly was flying, with a pop tart on her. She had cat ears and a tail. "Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! I IS NYAN KITTEH-AMY! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH!"

Amy gulped down a pie whole.

She spun around, made bird calls, did random yoga moves and-

SLAM!

She fell over. The car she had smacked into had a indention shaped like her.

She stood up, giggled, and, since her sugar high was still going, she continued to run around like Molly when she's hyped up, jumping on people, jumping on stuff, occasionally stealing peoples food. Just like Molly.

She shouted WAAAAA and did a kung fu pose when someone startled her from behind.

Amy pointed a piece of paper. "U NEEDS TO EAT YOUR VEGGIES!"

She stopped suddenly, pointed at a shiny ball and shouted SHINY and ran away again.

Amy threw lemons at a sad guy. "I IS LIFE AND I GIVE U LEMONS! NOW JUGGLE!"

"I IS EPIC AUTHOR AND YOU R NOT! YOU UR PHAIL AT BEING EPIC!" She screamed at a random guy in a chicken suit.

Amy dumped trash on a guy with a hat's on head. "U HAS NO LIFE!"

She stopped to pet a puppy.

She pointed at a man and woman. "U PHAIL AT LIFE!"

She picked up a rubber duck. "MWAH!"

She shouted to a passing car. "UR BUTT IS AS BIG AS A HOUSE!"

She jumped up onto people's heads, and ran across them, to jump on a roof. She threw bugs at the people.

Amy stole pepper spray. She sprayed it into her mouth, and screamed. "I'm gonna do it again!" Spray. "AHHHHHHHHH! AGAIN!" Spray. "AHHHHHH!" She stared at the people walking to her. She sprayed the pepper spray at them, and jumped to the roof of a building.

Amy ran across the roofs.

She jumped down, right in front of were two people were getting married. She stared. Then threw lemons at the couple. "DON'T WORRY! BE HAPPY! MAKE LEMONADE AND JUGGLE!" She jumped back on the roof. "THAT'LL BE 56 RIDES ON THE FROGGY TRAIN, THANKS FOR DA BUISNESS!" The building crumbled when she stepped off it onto another.

She ran, and then jumped down to a trampoline.

Amy was sprung into a dynamite store.

She ran out, really fast.

BOOM!

"Ohh...pretty..." Amy said, watching.

She hit a cheese factory with a bat.

It collapsed, and Amy stared at all the cheese. She NOMMED up the cheddar cheese, and then grabbed two cans squirt cheese. She lifted them into the air. "SQUIRT CHEESE FOR DA WIN!" She shouted.

She ran around, squirting cheese on everything.

Amy squirted some in her mouth. "IT TASTES LIEK FOOT!" She said. Amy sprayed the cheese until it was out. She threw the cans at some random building. It crumbled. She ran to the rubble, and found it was a game store. Amy stole four gameslaves2 and lots of games. She shoved them in her bag that seemed to never be full.

She hugged a cow.

Amy stopped to drink some water.

"HEY KID!" A guy next to said. She spit taked in his face, and poured the water on his head.

"HAPPY BARFDAY!" She shouted, and ran.

Amy started to do the Robot randomly. And...er...she can't dance.

She kicked a guy randomly in a face. "U NO WEARS TEH PINK!" She shouted.

She held a plastic star above her head. "WHO WANTS TO WISH? CUZ I AM DA STAR! BOW DOWN TO MEH!"

She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and-

SLAM!

Amy slid down the concrete wall.

"Ow!" She said. "Huh?" She looked behind her, and saw destruction. She took a picture.

"Maybe I need to stop using so much energy when I go on a sugar high..." She said. "Or maybe I should just stop going on sugar highs...NAW I like them!" Amy threw her hands in the air. "SUGER HIGHS FOR DA WIN!"

Amy walked along the town, and suddenly gasped.

A group of alien lovers were gathered. They had a banner

"WE WANT THIS ALIEN!" They shouted.

Amy climbed to a roof to get a better look.

She gasped at the picture on their banner.

Zim. Without his disguise.

"WERE IS HE? HE MUST HAVE A DISGUISE ON! HELP US HELP US HELP US!" The group chanted, strangely. Amy gulped.

Zim would be found out. And probably cut open.

Amy reached in her bag.

And pulled out a bag of huge candy's.

It had words: WARNING AMY! THIS IS AMY! DO NOT EAT UNLESS STARVED, OR ARE IN REAL NEED OF A SUGER HIGH! HIGH POWERED CANDIES! LOTS AND LOTS OF SUGER IN ONE!

Amy unwrapped one, and ate it.

She started to shake.

The burst of energy exploded inside her.

Amy shrieked, and grabbed the banner. She ripped it in pieces.

She stared at the group, and Epic Author powers surged in her veins.

She made them all forget everything about Zim.

But, since she was crazy with energy, she forgot to make them forget her.

Amy burst through the dazed crowd, running in circles. She destroyed all the buildings around her.

Finally, she stopped, and panted.

"I did it..." she said..

"That's the girl who messed up our meeting!" The leader of the alien lover said. Amy gulped. She tried to use her Epic Author powers.

"To many people!" She gasped. She could do HUGE things on sugar highs. But this was too much for normal Amy. Plus it was freezing cold.

She tried to fight, but even this was too much. She ran out of the fight, and decided to go Sugar again.

She fumbled with her backpack, and pulled out another candy.

She ate it, and burst through the people, and making them forget her.

She destroyed more things. She came to Dib's house.

She grinned like a psychopath, and destroyed Dib's room, writing on the walls AMY WAZ HERE U NEED 2 GET A LIFE DIB AND LEAVE ZIM ALONE 4 EVER!

She destroyed his evidence, and ran out.

Still sugar crazy, she broke stuff.

Finally, everything wore down, and she rubbed her aching head. Aching because she had run into a mailbox. What was now a bent piece of junk.

She checked the time.

Skool would be over soon.

Amy made a derp face. She smiled, and ran zigzagging to the skool. It took awhile, even if she was still partly hyped up from the sugar highs.

SLAM!

Amy fell backwards five feet. She heard a loud crack, and then thump.

She felt the impression of a tree on her face and arms.

And splinters.

Amy opened her eyes.

A once large tree was in front of her. It was now knocked over.

Amy saw her arms and face covered with splinters. She hated splinters.

Amy got as many out as she could with her Epic Author Powers.

She had to get a few in her hands out by herself. Epic Author powers could only do so much. Finally, after several minutes, she stood up.

She took a picture of the tree.

"I really gotta lay off on the huge sugar highs. And I gotta stop breaking trees..."

Amy sat down on the fallen tree, noting her impression on it. She snapped her fingers, and it disappeared.

She stared at the skool, daring it to move an inch. She would see it. SHE KNEW THE SKOOL MOVED! SEE? IT DID! JUST NOW! SEE? SEE! THEIR IT-oh that's just a dude...THERE! SEE?

She snapped her fingers, and put on sunglasses.

She poofed up a smoothie, and leaned on a branch. Amy stretched out her legs on the trunk. She head poofed the bugs away. So ha to them.

Amy put an arm behind her head, and drank the smoothie, looking like she did this everyday.

Finally, the Skool bell rang. The door burst open, and kids crawled out windows.

No one noticed her. She crossed her legs.

Finally, she saw Zim. But he was yelling at Dib. She listened in.

"No, I have not cut her open, SMELL MONSTER!" Zim shouted.

"I bet you killed her, Zim! I bet you used her powers to make a giant gun or something!"

"THATS NOT POSSIBLE!" Zim shouted. They were close to her. About 10 feet. Yet they did not see her. Zim looked ticked that Dib kept on talking about Amy.

Amy stayed were she was. She looked at other kids, and scowled. Some of them were taller then her! Hopefully...that growth spurt will hit...SOON...because her voice already got deep...just need that height...

"HOLY COW!" A kid shouted. "Dida hear? A short blond green-blue-gray eyed teenage insane girl destroyed half the town!"

Amy stiffened. She wanted to strangle that kid. HOW DID THEY GET THAT INFORMATION? WHO WAS THE STALKER? SHE WILL KILL THEM! WITH HER SMOOTHIE! SMOOTHIES KILL!

Dib glared at Zim. "So, you made her INSANE?"

"I DID NOT HURT HER! But she will be when I get my hands on her..." Zim hissed.

"I thought you WANTED to destroy stuff." Amy said, and then realized her mistake. Big oops. _Stay calm..._ She thought. _Keep your cool._

Zim and Dib turned.

They saw Amy, calmly drinking a smoothie, lying on a large fallen tree with her feet up. She was using one hand to hold her smoothie; the other arm was behind her head. She was leaning on a branch. Her scrapes and dirty clothes indicated she had been doing stuff she shouldn't have.

"I told The Computer to not let you-"

"Come on Zim. It's your Computer. Since when did it follow orders? Okay, yes, I whined it out of it. BUT I WAS DIEING OF BOREDOMMMM!" She said, and took a sip from her smoothie. "I saw the Madness dog!"

Zim seemed to twitch. "Why did you destroy the...STINK-TOWN?"

"Sugar high. Ate too much chocolate in one sitting. Among other foods." Amy said. "My powers were going psycho, and I destroyed nearly anything I touched. And I screamed at a couple of people random things...I threw lemons at a sad dude..." She shrugged. "And I got The Computer to make a bathroom in the house."

"Why?" Zim looked ticked. Well, he already did, but...

"Because, Einstein, I am a humanoid, so, according to Epic Author science, I have to go sometime, or I would die." Amy said simply. "Even if everyone in my family except for Milly and I have bladders the size of nuts, we still gotta do it SOMETIME, just not as often. Besides, how would I shower?"

Zim looked a little less ticked. "Why did you get food?"

She sighed. "I have to eat too." She said. "Dur."

"The tree?" Dib spoke up.

"Never run near trees when hyped up." Amy said. "I got about a million splinters. I can fix it, but I'm pretty cozy right here."

"See? She escaped! You help her captive! How could you? A sweet, innocent, though pan smacking, girl, and she's weaker then you!" Dib said, starting to harass Zim again.

"Ahem." Amy said.

Dib turned. Amy looked PO'd.

She held her frying pan. "I may seem sweet and innocent, but dude, I could squish you flat." She said. "I can take care of myself."

"YOU BRAINWASHED HER!" Dib shouted at Zim. Amy threw her pan.

CLANG!

It flew to her hand. She had a frown on her face.

"AND YOU MADE HER HATE ME?" Dib shouted.

"Dib, why are you taking so long?" Gaz walked up. She glanced at Amy. "Is this that girl from another dimension?"

Amy snapped a picture of Gaz. The camera spit out the picture. Somehow. We will never know. It was a digital camera. She put it in a book.

"Yeah, Gaz! Did you hear? She has special powers!"

"You told me like 20 times already. This squirt destroyed half the city?" Gaz looked at Amy with a yeah-right look.

"I blew up a planet once." Amy said, lost in thought. "In another dimension...ah, I killed so many people...fun..." She said, with a dreamy look. She finished her smoothie. She snapped her fingers, and it was full again. "I like smoothies." She said. "I broke the video game store with SQUIRT CHEESE! BOO-YA!"

"WHAT? With the new vampire piggy game out ONLY in that store?"

"Oh, that game? Here." Amy opened her bag, and pulled it out." Only one I could find. Eh heh...I kinda stole stuff from the rubble..." She held the game out.

Gaz took it. "The super deluxe mega-version? There is only one is existence!" Gaz said, seeming surprised.

"The game store is toast. I don't play vampire piggies." Amy said. She shrugged. "Do me one favor? Sign this." Amy held out the book, to the page with the Gaz picture.

"Yeah sure." Gaz signed it. "Come on, Dib."

"But Gaz! Zim MUST have done something to her! Or planning something! That power should not be in evils hands!"

Gaz grabbed Dib and started to drag him. "Zim! I will save her! Just you wait!"

Amy snickered. She flipped open the book. "One down. An amount to go." She said, gazing at the autograph. She had made this book, incase she ever got zapped to Invader Zim. Which she did. Yay for her. She put it in her bag.

Zim glared at her.

"What? I'm a teenage girl. Boredom can kill me." She said, crossing her arms. "Then no Author for Zimmy."

"I wanted you to stay at the base." He said coldly.

"Well, I wanted to blow up something in your lab. Guess we don't always get what we want. The universe doesn't revolve around you, Zim. It revolves around everyone. Except Dib. And your good for nothing leaders." Amy said. She drank her smoothie with no expression on her face.

Zim crossed his arms. "Lets go." He said.

"U mad?" Amy said, child-like.

"YES! YES I AM! YOU FOOL!" Zim shouted. Amy looked unfazed. She was glad the skool yard was empty, though.

Amy sat up. "Do I fix the tree?"

"What? Help the HUMANS?"

"Fine, I won't." She shrugged. "Why are you so upset? I destroyed stuff! Aren't you happy?"

She saw Zim grumble something.

"I would have probably blown up the base if I stayed." She said. "I was doing you a favor."

Zim crossed his arms.

"Really. Those alien worshippers had a huge banner of you without your disguise. I had to go Sugar High to destroy it and wipe the people's memories." Amy said. "And I nearly busted my butt when they tried to get revenge on SOMEONE for destroying their thing. I think they are smart enough to tell that you are an alien if they saw your Irken form. So I fixed that. And sugar highs HURT. I'm going to be sore tomorrow. I smashed into a car, a wall, a mailbox, and a tree." She crossed her arms, mimicking Zim.

She listened to his grumble this time. "You could've gotten..." She missed the rest.

He was still fuming.

Amy dusted off her hair, incase any wood had got in it.

She examined Zim as she did. She had seen this before. Zim had the same You-are-swimming-in-deep-turds look as her parents. He radiated You-Are-Grounded-Until-Your-Brother-Starts-Laying-Pink-Eggs waves, like her parents when she had gotten lost in a dangerous area that she was not supposed to be in, and it was dark. She was younger then. She was in so much trouble with her parents...

_HER PARENTS!_

Amy grinned, as she realized what was going on. Zim was over protective. He trusted her, all right. Most people who knew Amy trusted her. She just seems so sweet and innocent. And of course, the whole tough-side was a great bonus when bullies came along. Or Dib.

Amy had this way of reading people to tell what they are thinking. Sometimes, she's wrong, but she was positive this was right.

And she knew, to make Zim calm down, she had to show him the destruction. And what she did to help him.

Or she could just sulk like a normal teenager.

Thank Cheese Amy was not a normal teenager.

She was to tired to drag him...so...Plan B!

Amy glanced behind her. She could see the destruction on the horizon. But Amy had good eyes.

"Come ON! Lets go!" Zim said.

"No." She said. Amy put on her best rebellious teenager act.

"What?"

"I'm not going." Amy finished her smoothie. She poofed the glass away, and replaced it with an Energy Drink. She poured it down her throat.

"WHAT?" Zim said, fuming. "Come on, you fool!"

She wiped her mouth off. Amy got another Energy drink. "Read. My. Lips. NO." She got two more, and drank each one super fast, as she saw Zim start to fume more.

Amy poured more and more Energy Drinks down her throat, until she had drank twelve of them.

She tightened her shoelaces, and her bag straps. Amy bent her hat backwards. She attached the other strap of her backpack around her chest, and cracked her knuckles.

She jumped up on the tree. And blew a raspberry. "THHPBT! CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!" She shouted, and started running really fast as soon as she saw Zim's anger boil over.

"GET BACK HERE!" He shouted.

She speed off.

Yep. Mad Zim+Energy Drinks+Amy=Speed. And she was not insane in this speed.

Her feet were a blur, and she poofed up invisible tape to hold her hat on her head.

She was nowhere near as fast as she was in a sugar high, more like that fast kid in PE that always is first to finish running, and you were always jealous. So jealous you wanted to kill them in their sleep. Er...ANYWAY...

Amy was a little startled at her speed, because she never actually knew how fast she was in a sugar high.

She just knew she was fast. And hyper. She had a small grasp of what was going on, but mostly the energy took over. She did the first things that popped in her head.

She started to go faster.

Yeah. She heard him shout when she started to run. She knew he was near.

Amy knew the stakes.

She could get caught, which would SUCK.

She could not get caught, but he would any get angrier because of how she destroyed the city without him.

She could succeed. Or get her face wiped on a sidewalk. Well...no...but...she did not want to THINK about it.

Amy groaned. "I thought the town was closer!" She said. Amy started to feel the familiar pang in her side. "Oh snap not now!" She said. Amy had trouble when running; her side would sometimes start to hurt. When she was on sugar highs, she never felt it. It was a searing pain, like a jab. She pressed down just above her waist, were the spot was, and tried to breath correctly. In through nose, out through mouth...in through nose, out through mouth...

She saw an opening to a sewer. If she knew Zim, he would be in there...

Amy jumped about five feet up over it, and smacked the side of her face.

"Get back here!" Zim shouted.

"Of COURSE he's in there!" Amy shouted. "Just my luck!" She held her side.

She looked down. "Time for Plan C."

She pulled her bag of candies out.

Amy gulped. She heard the whisk of metal on pavement.

"PREPARE FOR MADNESS! AND...smashing pain..." She groaned. Amy threw one in her mouth, and put the bag back.

She stopped moving, and started to shake.

"HOLY FOOT HERE I GOOOOOOOO!" She shouted, and burst into speed.

She looked back at Zim, with his PAK legs out. He had a 'What the crap?' look on his face. He shook his head.

Zim saw her stop moving.

He thought she had given up, but she shouted PREPARE FOR MADNESS and something else, and burst into speed.

He continued to run, but she was WAY to fast.

In the distance, she stopped, and turned around.

She suddenly poked a building, and it crumbled to the ground.

Amy froze. It seemed her inner conscious was getting her to stop.

Zim finally caught up to her. She burst into speed again, and her eyes were swirly.

"FLOWER DUMBELLS TASTE LIEK GLUE!" She shouted.

She suddenly smashed into a fence, breaking the metal, but falling on her face.

Zim caught up to her, sprawled out.

Amy groaned and rubbed her face. "Why do I always smash into something?" She said. "Ow...more pain tomorrow...I hope he-" She looked up. They made eye contact. Zim gave her a smug look.

"AUG!" She shouted, startled, and started to run.

She tripped over a piece of a banner. It said "WANTED: ALIEN" And had a picture partly of Zim.

Amy jerked up.

She stopped moving, mouth open. "How did they remember?" She shouted.

Zim looked up from the banner.

A group of people. He recognized them as the ones that took his Voot, and caught him.

"I made them remember!" A voice shouted.

Amy looked up. "Dib?"

"Thats the alien!" The Leader pointed at Zim.

"We don't worship anymore, he left us! Science needs him!" Another shouted.

Zim had an 'Oh crap' look.

"Even if you sent her to destroy my room, I will save Amy!" Dib shouted.

Zim looked at Amy. "Eh...Sugar...wanted to get back at him...my brain's weird..." She stammered.

The group advanced.

Amy gulped. "This is gonna be painful." She closed her eyes, and burst into a punching, kicking ball of AUTHORNESS.

Boom.

Kick in da butt.

Knee.

Elbow da stomach.

She punched someone trying to get Zim. Her eyes widened.

"MY FINGER! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OH SNAP NOT AGAIN!" She hopped around.

"Get him!" Dib shouted.

Her eyes blazed. "That's IT!" She shouted.

Everyone stopped moving. Zim kicked the person who held him, and they dropped him.

"Their are Ten things you NEVER mess with. One: My family. Two: My Dog. Three: My friends. Four: Books. Five: My stuff. Six. My interests. Seven: My overalls. Eight: My chocolate. NINE: ME. And TEN: INVADER ZIM OR POKEMON!" Amy grabbed her bag. She dropped three candies in her hand.

"Get her!" Someone shouted.

Amy ate them.

She started to shake. I mean SHAKE. Her whole body tingled.

"THIS WILL BE PAINFUL!" She shouted, and suddenly knocked everyone in front of her away with a burst of speed. "U HAVE MASHED POTATOS 4 BRAINS!" She shouted, and grabbed her pan.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Amy started to run in a random circle, banging everyone she could. She put it away and grabbed a rubber chicken.

"RUBBER CHICKEN!" She shouted.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

A guy was behind her.

"WAAAAA!" Karate pose.

KICK!

She did a random yoga pose.

"I AM YOUR FATHER!"

She spun in a circle, knocking everyone away. She climbed on a building.

"U ALL HAS NO LIFES! U NEEDS LEMONS! I IS LIFE I GIVE U LEMONS!" Lemons started falling from the sky.

Suddenly, Amy stopped moving. She closed her eyes, and all the people were knocked out.

She ran around Dib.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Dib shouted.

The small teenager grabbed her pan.

She spun around. She was like a smacking machine.

Amy ran around, shouting things like "DOGS!" "GIMME MONEY I HAS JUICE!" "CRANBERRY'S TASTE LIEK A COMPUTER!" "WHY U SAD? LEMONS!" 

She ran straight through a wall, the building exploded just after she left. She did this to 50 buildings, shouting things to weird to put in print.

Here's one. "DORA NEEDS A TATOO!"

Four long hours later, she was still running and running and running and running...

Zim watched from on top a huge rock. His disguise had been knocked off. All the people had left. Dib had forgot why he was in the city. Everyone had forgot.

She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran-

BLAMMOOSH!

She slid down the rock.

Amy fell to the ground. A scientifically perfect imprint of her was on the rock. Even her nose.

Amy groaned. "Worst. Sugar. High. Ever. I'm gonna have a million bruises in the morning..."

She pushed herself up, wiping the dirt off her face.

"So...tired...need...pie..." She groaned.

She struggled to stand up.

"OW!" she said, holing her hand. Her pointed finger on her right hand was swollen. "Crap, not again."

"That was interesting." Zim said.

She looked up. "Meep!"

She scrambled up and tried to run.

She wasn't going anywhere.

She stopped running in place. "You have my bag, don't you."

"Actually, I have a robot leg holding your bag. Close enough."

"You're going to kill me now, aren't you. I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!"

"I was thinking about it, yes." Zim lifted the robot leg up, pulling Amy with it. She flailed around in the air.

"You do know I have been trying to help." She said. "And put me down!"

Zim crossed his arms. "How?"

"How what?"

"How do you get all that power?"

"Oh...If I eat to much sugar, my energy level will explode and my powers are more stronger. I also am really fast. These candies I made myself, they have lots of sugar in them. If I eat a ton of chocolate, or one of these, or just lots of sugar I'll have a sugar high. Usually, the energy takes over, so the first thing I think I do, but sometimes I can control myself. Like wiping everyone's brains, I had to fight the energy to do that. I don't feel that much pain when I'm in one. And I always seem to smash into something...I love them! And hate them at the same time!" She said.

"Any YOU destroyed the city? And The Dib's room?"

Amy rubbed the back of her head. "Eh heh...yeah..."

She stared at the ground. "Put me down!"

"Why did you run?"

"To show you I can't help sugar highs, and I was trying to help you. You wouldn't come if I just asked you, anyways. And I was to tired and hurt to just drag you here. If I had shown you all the things I done, I hoped you would quit worrying. I can take care of myself."

Zim did his look. "How did you know?"

"I have parents. I don't get in trouble that often...okay, okay, I get in trouble ALL the time, but I know when they are going to kill me because I did something dangerous." Amy said. "You were doing exactly what they do. You are WAY to over protective. Probably cuz I can actually let you rule this planet. And none of the people I know hate me." She shrugged. "Now PUT ME DOWN!" She flailed around.

"You do need to be careful. You could have d-"

"I have heard it 20 bajillion times. There is no need." Amy said. "Besides, I saved your butt. NOW PUT. ME. DOWN!"

"Technically, right now I'm your legal guardian, because you're a minor. And alone. And living with me."

"Where-"

"Law books." Zim held one out.

"Since when do YOU read law books?"

"Since...last week."

"PUT ME DOWN!" Amy said. She had a red manga mad sign on her forehead.

"So, that means you have to do what I say." Zim said.

"What are you getting at?"

"Rules, my dear Author, rules."

"Since when am I DEAR?" Amy said, a little creeped out.

"Er...just listen."

"I don't listen to my parents as it is, so go crazy." She said. "But PUT ME DOWN!" She glared at the metallic leg, with a face meaning she wanted to eat it. She would snap it in half if it were anyone else but Zim.

Zim ignored her last comment. "You stay at the base."

"Boring!"

"You don't get enough sugar to give you a sugar high unless given to you."

"I don't get muh sugar?"

"You are to stay out of trouble."

"Trouble is my second name." She crossed her arms. "Amy, Trouble with a capital T!"

"SILENCE!"

"How about I'm aloud to glomp Zimmeh as much as I want?"

"Fine. Whatever. You don't leave town in I do take you out."

"This town is a dump."

"You do not go into universes without telling me."

"Screw that rule."

"You have to help the ALMIGHTY Zim in my evil plans."

"That I don't mind. How about we also add 'Amy can zap Zim to different Dimensions if he bugs her.'"

"Fine-HEY WAIT!"

Amy smirked at him. "You'll find that all those rules are broken tomorrow morning."

"I'm going to reprogram the computer."

"Fine. Now put me down. I'm fixing to bite this thing off, even if I DO like you." She grabbed the leg with such force it scared Zim.

Zim lowered her down.

"BAI see you later don't wait up for me SEE YA!" She said, and tried to leave. Tried.

"You have my bag again." She pushed it off.

"Nice try."

"...Can we go?" She said.

"Yeah, sure. I'll call GIR.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Amy clutched her right hand. She was in the Voot, too tired to freak out. GIR had brought it.

"What did you do to it?" Zim said, turning around.

"I broke it while punching a bonehead. I know because I sprained a finger on my left hand once."

"Show me your finger."

"Fine, bossy." Amy teased. She held her hand up.

She felt his gloved hands hold it. For some reason, this made Amy blush.

"Why is your face-"

"Its blush!" Amy said. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" She said.

"It's broken alright."

"Dang, you don't have to do that."

"Well, you can't go to a doctor here. So I have to use Irken ways to fix you." Zim cringed.

"Oh snap." Amy said. Her face was freaked out. "When we get back, I'm showering, and locking that door with every known lock alive." She said.

"Why must you...shower?"

"Because, I am filthy. I may be a tough girl, but I do NOT like dirt all over me. And I think a bird crapped in my hair. So let the Author take her shower, then you can torture-I mean fix me. Plus, Mr. Scared-Of-Germs, I want to kill germs."

"I better get into paste..." Zim muttered.

"Yeah, my hair's gonna be wet."

IZIZIZIZIZ

The opened the door.

"Shower, Shower, Shower, Shower, Shower, Shower!" Amy said, running down.

"Er..." The computer said. "I'm guessing she wants a shower."

A door slammed down stairs.

"YOU OPEN THIS DOOR ZIM, AND YOU WILL DIE!" Amy shouted. "I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR GUTS ARE SPREAD ACROSS THE CITY!"

"That girl scares me." Computer said. "But she's a good kid."

Zim tapped his foot. "You let her OUTSIDE?"

"What? Did she do something?"

"Had about five sugar highs and nearly got killed saving my antenna!" Zim said.

"Oh...er..." The Computer said.

"DON'T FORGET I ALSO SAVED YOUR BUTT!" Amy shouted.

"Just get my medical gear set up in the lab. When she is ready tell her to come down." Zim sighed.

"Okay."

Zim walked to his toilet.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy stepped out of the bathroom. Her hair was wet, but clean. She was wearing white socks, and PJ's. The top was a baggy plaid t-shirt, and it exposed forming bruises on her neck.. She had a white tank top underneath to keep warm. The pants reached just below her knees. They were also plaid, and soft. She had a slight limp, and she poofed her old clothes home. She kept her hat and gloves, though.

Amy walked to the kitchen.

"Zim's down in the lab. Check before you go." The Computer said.

Amy stuck her head in the toilet.

"Can I come down?" she called.

She heard a thump.

"NOT YET! WAIT FOR ZIIIM!"

Amy shrugged. Her stomach lurched. "Urg...Shiz..."

She poofed a glass of milk up.

"I thought milk made stomaches worse."

"Well, they help me." Amy said, as she drank.

"Your face is-"

"Purple, I know. I smashed into numerous things today." Amy said.

"Can't you just-"

"I can't just poof injuries away. As much fun as Sugar Highs are, they are painful."

"MIR! GIR! I HAVE LEFTOVERS IN THE LUNCHBOX!" Amy shouted.

"YAY!"

"You ENJOY sugar highs?"

"Why else would I stuff myself with lots of candy at one time?"

"Er...you like candy?"

"No, I want a sugar high." Amy said.

"I'M READY! COME NOW!" Zim shouted.

Amy shrugged. She went down the elevator.

She limped across the floor.

Zim stood there, looking slightly Shiner then usual.

"Please tell me you didn't-" Amy started.

"I bathed in paste." Zim said.

Amy groaned. "That's so wrong. Oh, yeah. ZIMMEH!" She glomped him.

"Can't...breathe..."

"Sorry!"

"Here. Sit down. Your injuries are minor, so I should have the training for this."

Amy sat down on the chair.

She glanced nervously at all the equipment. "You aren't going to draw my blood, are you?" She said, worried.

"Yes."

"EEP!" She jumped to the ceiling.

Zim snickered. "No I'm not, get off the roof."

She pouted. "I hate getting my blood drawn!" Amy said. "Don't DO that!"

Zim pointed at the seat. Amy sat down.

She crossed her arms. "Do your stuff. I'm tired." She said.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Her eyes watered.

"Are you DONE?"

"Yes." Zim sighed.

She held her hand out.

And closed her eyes.

"EPP!" Amy said, as he put the stinging Irken stuff on.

She felt quick hands wrap a bandage around it and it was done.

"Now-"

"NO!" Amy said. She was in the corner.

"How-"

"Dude, that stuff STINGS!" Amy said.

"I just need to put it on your scrape-"

"No. MORE!" Flames burst behind her, her eyes were flaming.

Zim shrunk back.

He got out his PAK legs, sighing. This would be hard.

She stepped aside quickly.

Amy gave him a smug look as she stepped in the elevator.

"ITS JUST MEDICINE!" She shouted as she went up. "Computer, why did you work the elevator?"

"Oh...er...I don't know..."

Long chase I don't care enough to write.

"To...tired...run..." Amy said, on the roof.

Zim slowly came over, and basically poured the stuff on her scrapes.

"EEP! Meh." Amy said. She slid down.

"Were...energy...come...from..." Zim panted.

"I can... hold a lot...more then...you think..."

They collapsed on the floor in the lab.

"Thats all of the medicine." Zim said.

"Thank all things epic." Amy said.

"Now, your finger...?"

"Just get me a splint." Amy said.

"Let me see."

"Just don't do it again!" Amy held her hand out.

Zim rubbed it slightly.

"OW! OW OW OW! OW! OW! OW! Hey!"

"I have to!"

"Just for the love of all things holy, HURRY UP!" She hissed.

Zim splinted it. Quickly.

Amy pulled her hand away.

"Hm. Not bad." She said.

"Now...bruises..."

"THEY WILL GO AWAY!" Amy said.

"Er..."

"I just need ice packs for my bruises tomorrow." Amy said. "Now, I'm going to sleep. Wake me up, and I'll rip your face off."

"Wait." Zim said. She turned. "Don't leave tomorrow."

"On one condition:" Amy said. "You have to call the Tallest with me in the room. I get to watch. You tell them about me. Kapishe?"

"As long as you don't say anything bad!"

"No promises." Amy went up the elevator, holding MIR.

She collapsed on the sofa, and felt MIR put a blanket over her. MIR snuggled down. Amy felt GIR too.

She collected her thoughts. _Okay. I'm living with Invader Zim. Who happens to want me to obey his rules. That is understandable, for Zim. At least he likes me. It would SUUUUCK ORANGES if he did not. Tomorrow I'm gonna be alone again. Boring. But I DO NOT want that AWFUL medicine again. Dib is annoying. And his head is huger in real life. I just wish I were not so SHORT. I'm shorter then Dib! At least I can go down to the lab and read Zim's plans. Screw Rules, I'm Amy! THE RULE BREAKER! I wonder...what the pie is like here?_

Amy saw the light go off. She sighed, and fell asleep, happily having Sugar-High filled dreams. And...?

WOOOOOOOOOOAH that was a HUGE chapter! Sorry, had major brain wave and had to use this whole part of dream. I used ACTUAL quotes from my dream in the sugar highs. And yes. I am trusted. And yes, I hate getting my blood drawn and stingy medicine. Yes, I do really have insane sugar highs. Yes, I really do the DA WIN thing. Yes, I really have those clothes. Yes, I am a great fighter. Yes, I love Skillet. Yes, I bang my head when I get writers block. No, I don't know why my brain is weird. Yes, I can't sing or dance. I'M JUST FOLLOWING DA DREAM PEOPLES! I cut out some weird parts...like when my parents came into it for a little and danced...O.O . Oh, and I DON'T cuss when I say "Shiz." Its a word I made up. It means nose. Yes. This was one of my dreams that I figured out I was dreaming in it, and could control it. Mostly. REVIEW AND GET A HUG FROM MIR! AND A SUGER HIGH CANDY!~ Commander Author Amy, signing off!


	4. OMG I HAS NO NAME

"HA!" Amy jerked up. "I got you! I have been lying awake for hours, lying in WAIT!" She said.

Zim had his hand on the door. "You just woke up."

"No I-yes I did." Amy rubbed the back of her head and sweat dropped. "But, I DID have a verrrrrry interesting dream."

Zim had an 'I'm so dead' look on his face.

Amy stood up. And kicked her feet.

A thump came from across the room.

"Invisible things to make me seem shorter?" Amy said. She walked over and picked up some invisible things. "I don't know how that is possible, even."

Zim looked nervous.

"Ah, so Mr. Invader is SCARED of me?" Amy said. She stood at her full height, still short. But not elementary school sized. Ha.

Course, she was only a few inches taller then him...

"I KNEW I wasn't shrinking!" Amy said. "Heck, that would suck, I'm short as it is..." She crossed her arms. "I don't know how I would scare anybody-wait you have seen me fighting. Guess that DOES give you a reason..." She blushed, thinking he was afraid of her.

"Er..."

It was still dark outside.

Amy yawned. "Were are you going? Its not time for skool."

"How do you know that?"

"There is a clock right there. And I Internet stalk you back home." Amy pointed to a clock that said 5:30. "I usually get up at this time anyway."

"What? Don't humans need sleep?"

"I'm not human. And, yes, they do, but I'm an early riser, a morning person." Amy poofed up her pills. "ADHD meds." She said before he could ask. "If I don't take them, Its like a sugar high. But MUCH more random. I burst into random tears once...I think I had lost my sunglasses or something..." Amy rubbed the back of her head.

"You had better stay here today!" Zim snapped.

"No problem. I'm WAY to sore to go anyway. Hey, you going shopping?"

"Er...Yeah..."

"Get some ice packs. My face is hurting. And, if you haven't noticed, its purple." She rubbed her face and saw her splint. "That'll make typing harder." She groaned. "Might as well type up my story here." She said. Amy threw her hands up. "TYPING FOR DA WIN!"

"Fine, fine. Just don't leave ZIM'S BASE!" He left. Amy shrugged.

She walked to the bathroom.

IZIZIZIZ

Amy came out. She had a black t-shirt with the words "PLEASE RECYCLE MY BROTHER" on it. Underneath it she had a black and white striped long sleeved shirt, and she had baggy beige capris (Did I spell that right?) on. With a black belt. Her shoes were red sneakers. She had a silver key on a chain around her neck, just a thick silver key. Her socks were blue and green striped.

She slipped on her hat.

After pulling the bandages on her head off.

She opened her laptop.

"Why do you blush when you see him?" The Computer said.

"ER...I like him...You should know that."

"But most cartoon crushes aren't real cr-"

"YOU SHUT UP." Amy held a fist out. She typed clumsily, typing how they came into her house. She flashed an evil look.

"Dang, you scare me."

"I should." Amy said. "Kids at school always underestimate me, thinking I'm a perfect target for jerks. I mean, I AM weird. But I kick BUTT. Or so I'm told. I've got problems. And I embrace then warmly." She said, without looking up. "I'm known as 'that one weird kid.' People assume that I'm a nerd, and stupid because of how I act. Frankly, most computers hate my guts. And I'm smart." She barley moved, trying not to hurt her sore leg muscles.

"Oh..."

"Since this is a laptop from the real world, I can play some episodes if you want."

"Ones with me?"

"Yeah. How about...Walk for Your lives?"

"What?"

"Probing Day."

"Oh!"

Amy clicked on it.

She got out a drawing book, and started to draw things.

"THERE I AM!" The Computer said. "THERE! I COUGHED! SEE? SEE?"

"I saw it." Amy said.

She did not look up.

The ending song came on.

"That was COOL!" The Computer said. MIR and GIR had woken up, and watched it.

"Done!" Amy held up the drawing and sweatdropped. "It looked better in my mind..." She said.

"Let us see!" MIR said.

Amy turned it over. She laughed nervously.

She had a background with a large computer screen. A drawing Amy was glomping drawing Zim, and he had a speech bubble saying, "Get off!" MIR and GIR were in front of them. Amy sweatdropped. Again.

"I draw like a fail."

"You just draw heads bad..." The Computer said. "I'M COOL-LOOKING!"

"US TOO!" MIR and GIR shout.

Amy laughed and shook her head.

The door was knocked. Amy was confused. "That can't be him..." She said.

MIR and GIR climbed up to her shoulders. Forgetting their disguises.

Amy peeked through the peephole.

"Sweet Caboodles." She said. "Its HIM."

"VOLDEMORT?" MIR cried.

"Er...no...Dib..." Amy said. She snapped her fingers, and her frying pan flew to her.

She opened the door.

"Amy! Woah, you look taller." Dib said.

"What?" Amy said.

"I've come to save you!"

"At six in the morning? What, do you STALK Zim?"

"Er...I wouldn't call it stalking..."

Amy held up the pan.

Dib finally got a good look at her. She covered her face.

"What happened?"

"I run into things when I'm in sugar highs!" Amy said. "Psh-SHAH." She crossed her arms.

"Lets just go!"

"Dude, I can take care of myself. I don't need an kid younger then me telling me what to do." Amy said.

"You have evil robot thingies on your shoulders!" He startled MIR and GIR, making them fall. Amy caught them and held them in her arms, putting her pan on a table.

"One of them is mine!" Amy said. "REMEMBER?"

"Oh...yeah...WHAT HAS ZIM DONE TO YOU?"

"Nothing. Except give me loads of turd rules." Amy said. "And helped patch me up..." She blushed again, not meaning to.

"Why are you blush-"

"IT'S COMLICATED!" Amy shouted.

Dib blinked, and smoothed his hair back because it got blown out when she shouted.

Amy shifted the robots to one arm. She leaned on the door with the other.

Amy snapped her fingers, and grabbed her floating pan. She examined her short dark blue nails.

"What, your still here?" She said.

"You don't WANT to be saved?"

"I'm LIVING with ZIM. With the cartoon that I have loved since I first saw the show. What do you EXPECT?" Amy said.

"Uh-"

"I know his weaknesses, and his strengths. I don't have much to worry about. Yesterday, I was tired, but I can squish him flat if I wanted to." Amy said. "And he knows that. I was about to lose it yesterday, when I was tired and hurt. I was gonna full-out-beat-the-shiz-outta him. But I calmed down."

"But-"

Amy looked bored. "Leave or I use the pan. Listen. You are my fifth fave character, so I'm giving you a warning, and something else." Amy snapped her fingers. "K, your room is now fixed. Just not the evidence. I LIKE this place. So don't try to save me." She closed the door promptly.

She sighed. "Eep! My face is sore..." She rubbed her face. "And if you say one thing about me breaking out I will **murder** you." Amy said; turning to were The Computers voice usually came.

"Ahem...Are you hungry?"

"POP TARTS!" Amy shouted as a commercial came one. "HOLY FUDGE ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I'VE HAD ONE!" She ran to the kitchen.

Rip.

Push.

Wait.

Pop.

Yum.

"YAY!" Amy said. "I poofed up a huge toaster, so we got Pop Tarts for all!" She said happily.

Half an hour later...

"A LITTLE HELP HERE?" A voice shouted.

"Eh?" Amy looked up from her Gameslave two. She had gotten the ones she stole set up for GIR, MIR, and herself. She was playing a game. "YOU HAVE FOUR ROBOT LEGS! GET THEM YOURSELF!"

"OWNED IT!" MIR shouted. She and Amy high fived.

Amy opened the door.

She gave Zim a bored look. "If you can lift a teenage girl, you can lift bags." She said.

"You don't weigh that much!"

"Exactly."

"What?"

Amy just shrugged and leaned on the wall.

Finally, everything was inside.

"At least you shop quicker then my mom." Amy muttered.

Zim panted.

"I...command...you...to...help...ZIIIM!..."

"I don't take commands from anyone."

"You do know she does this all the time." MIR said. "Its not just you! So don't worry."

"I want to throw lemons at someone." Amy said randomly. "That's why I like sugar highs. You do insane stuff and don't get into trouble."

She opened the door.

"Gotta go see you later BAI!" She ran out, shut the door, and leapt to the most obvious spot: The roof.

Course, he freaked out.

She snickered as he started to run around for her, and Zim being Zim, not checking the most obvious spot.

"You're just messing with him." The Computer said from inside.

"Yup." She climbed down and walked inside after 10 minutes.

Zim came in, panting after a while.

"Could not...find her..." He panted.

"Course, because you overlooked the details." Amy said smugly, in the same position she was on the tree. But she was on the sofa, looking pleased with herself. The robots sat on her legs.

"What? But! You! Left, the, house, ran, search, all, over...WHAT?" Zim said.

"Don't explode. You overlooked the details. I was on the roof." She said. "I wouldn't go out like that, I'm not stupid."

"WHY?"

"To mess with you, dur!" Amy burst out laughing. The robots fell over with her, laughing.

They were ROFLing super hard.

"Oh, man the look on your face!" Amy gasped out.

"BURN!" MIR shouted.

"Like DUH!" GIR laughed.

Finally Amy sat up, caught her breath and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

Zim was giving them a not-amused face.

"Its in my nature to prank people, but in ways that teach them something. I taught you something. Don't overlook details." Amy said. She stood up. "Now, weres an Ice Pack?"

Zim suddenly held up a large one with an evil grin. "You got to catch me first."

He suddenly started running around the house.

Amy waited.

Then...

"WARRIOR GLOMP!" She shouted.

"OOF!"

"VICTORY IS MINE!" Amy cheered.

"Yeah, just get off me!"

Amy looked down, blushed deeply, and crawled of Zim.

"Sorry!"

He brushed himself off. "Well played, I'll give you that, Author."

"I do have a name." Amy said. She smushed her face into it the ice pack. "I'M IN HEAVEN!" She moaned. "So cold...feels...good..." She lifted her head up to take a breath, and then mashed her face back into the soft ice pack. "What's in this thing?"

"Whale saliva." Zim said.

"Ah." Amy said. She looked up. "WHALE SPIT? Ah, I don't give a fudge." She mashed her face in it.

"I thought that would gross you out!"

"I have the world's grossest brother alive. Almost NOTHING scares me, or grosses me out since he came along." Amy said.

"What does?"

"Well, since I know yours, I might as well tell. Lots of blood is one. LOTS of blood creeps me out. And seeing things drink blood. Crap grosses me out. The kid up the road. Raw meat is gross. Roaches. I love all other bugs. I have a phobia of thunder and lightning. It's really bad. I get startled easily; it's not the same as being scared. Organ harvesting." She flashed Zim a look. "That was disgusting, by the way. NEVER do that again."

She mashed her face into it again.

"What about foods?" Zim said. He seemed to be writing down what she said.

"I'll eat almost anything. I love pie, chocolate, Ice cream, meat, carrots, ketchup, oranges, cheese, waffles, eggs, pickles, bacon, catfish, milk, green beans, rice, water, and spaghetti." She threw her hands up. "YUMMEH FOODS FOR DA WIN!"

"Disliked foods?"

"Sausages. Pistachios. Soda's. Most chips. Coffee. Baloney. Tuna. Duck. Apples. Mustard. Mint. Salami. Peppers. Shrimp. Baked beans." Amy lifted her head. "Done."

"Baked beans?"

"Yup."

"Meat?"

"MEAT FOR DA WIN!" Amy sat up, holding the pack to her face.

"What that key for?" He pointed to her necklace.

"Hm? Nothing, I just like keys." Amy said. "Don't you have skool?"

"Oh yes!" Zim ran out. "Lock!" The door locked.

Amy walked over and froze more ice packs.

"Why don't you just make more?" The Computer said.

"Cause I'm lazy."

"HEY ITS SNOWING!" MIR shouted.

Amy looked outside. Her mouth dropped.

"No. Way." She ran to the backdoor. "OPEN! NOW!"

"But I'm not allowed to-"

"OPEN IT NOW." Amy's voice was scary, and her eyes flaming. Her face was dark.

Fire burst around her.

"ER..."

"Screw this!" Amy kicked the door.

BAM.

She jumped on the door.

"It really is snowing! Cartoon snowing, but still!" She stepped out.

Amy gazed in wonder. Sure, it snowed at home, but it was summer there! And this was CARTOON snow!

She stopped the robots.

And poofed up little scarves, hats, and mittens for them.

She wrapped a scarf around her neck, and slipped on mittens. Ones she poofed up.

She ran out, and held out a mitten.

A snowflake landed on it.

She stared at the strange flake. It looked like a fly.

Soon, the ground was covered by a layer of snow. Amy balled one up.

SMACK!

"Hey!" GIR shouted.

"You two. Me. Now. Ball. White." Amy said.

Amy fell over, due to getting creamed in the back.

Suddenly, she realized something.

"Zim...!" She said. "Snows gonna...oh wait he took a paste bath. Either way, YAY SNOW!"

She threw another at MIR.

GIR filled his head with balls and shot.

"Hey!" Amy suddenly had an idea.

She pulled out a large candy from her pocket.

"Oh, Amy, NO, NO, NO!" Computer shouted.

"Relax. You can catch me if I try to leave."

She ate it.

The tingle warmed her body.

BAZOM!

"PREPARE FOR EPIC FIGHTITUDE!" MIR shouted to GIR.

They filled their heads.

Amy shook.

She suddenly exploded into fast motion.

"NOW!" MIR shouted.

They shot balls. Amy saw them, and caught them.

"YOUR ORDER IS READY!" She shouted, and threw them back, shaped like foods.

"Holy Circuits." MIR said. "ATTACK GIR!"

GIR threw all his ammo at Amy. She was buried.

The pile shook.

Amy suddenly burst out, spinning, making the snow fly everywhere.

"I HAS MASH POTATOS!"

"OH NO NOT THE YELLOW SNOW!" MIR shouted.

She flew over, picked up Amy, and dropped her in a pile on snow.

"Mommy, I will marry teh snow goat." Amy said.

She threw balls in fast motion at the robots, burying them.

GIR ate it all.

"GIR! NOW!" MIR shouted.

He spit it out at Amy.

"NOT TEH DOGGEH BARF!" She said.

Amy started to run for the fence, but stopped. She seemed to be thinking. She turned around.

She fell over backwards.

"SNOW ANGEL!" Amy shouted, and made a misshaped snow angel. "GET MEH MORE POTATOS!"

Nothing.

Amy threw snow at it, and continued having a snowball fight with MIR and GIR.

IZIZIZIZIZ

An hour later, she face-planted in the snow.

Amy rubbed her head.

"Eh heh, that was fun." She said. "I made sure I would not leave the backyard." She said. "Well, lets go inside."

"YAY!" MIR and GIR said.

They went in. Amy poofed the scarves, hats, and mittens away.

She poofed her clothes dry, and made a fireplace.

She switched it on, it was a gas fireplace.

Amy went to the kitchen, and returned with hot chocolate.

She poured one down The Computers food hole.

"Zim would have killed me if you got hurt." Computer said.

"I was careful." Amy said simply. She drank some hot chocolate. "HOTTT!" She said. Amy hopped around fanning her mouth.

She sat back down and sipped it calmly.

She finished.

"Hm. I want to go to the lab." She said.

"Not happening."

"Oh really?" Amy walked over to the toilet.

"No don't you-"

Jump.

"Dare..."

Amy looked at the elevator buttons. "How about the making-stuff room?" She said, and pressed the button.

She came to a room with lots of designs and stuff.

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Neat."

She opened up a plan.

Since she web-stalked Invader Zim so much, she could read Irken.

It was the plan for the giant water balloon.

"Didn't think that one through, now did he?" Amy muttered to herself.

"You _really_ shouldn't be here." Computer said.

"I can handle Zim. I'm not tired, hurt, or weak, so I can take him." Amy said. She glanced at a shelf full of plans, and noticed one stuck behind it.

"Urg." Amy grunted as she pushed the huge shelf away from the wall. She picked up the plan.

"Plan B-89... PAK's for other living things..." She read to herself.

She scanned it. On the back, it said BAD IDEA! WILL **HELP** ENEMY!

She smiled.

Amy walked to the elevator.

"Okay...storage room." She pressed.

Amy waited, and stepped out.

"Your gonna get in trouble..."

"You know, you could have stopped the elevator if you did not want me to go."

"Oh...er..."

Amy pulled out a box marked B-89.

She got on her knees.

"Okay, so the plan said they worked on test subject Nick...who had them removed later...so..." She put her hand in the box. She pulled out a yellow spotted PAK.

Amy stared at it.

"Amy, put that back...before it-" The Computer said.

Amy held it away from her as the wires came out.

"It will give whoever puts it on Irken knowledge...why did Zim make this plan?"

"Its junk. A random idea he had put on paper, and tried out."

"Also gives them PAK legs and guns...SWEET!" Amy said. "Can be removed if wanted."

She put the plan down.

Amy stared at the PAK.

She started to bring it closer to herself.

She stopped.

"I...don't think this is a good idea..." She said. "BUT I WANT THE GUNS!" She whined. She pondered in her head, and sighed. She put it back, and stared at the plans. She put them on the table and left.

"Thank goodness you did not do anything!" Computer said.

Amy walked out of the kitchen.

"HOLY FUZZOODLES!" She cried. She ran to the robots. "What happened?" 

"Snowballs in our heads...rust..." MIR groaned. The robots were both rusty. Very.

"Oil!" Amy snapped her fingers.

"No! Its in our circuits...only Irken Oil will work..." MIR said.

Amy bit her lip. "Irken oil...I don't know how to use Irken Oil!"

"Its 10:00." Computer said.

Amy groaned.

"Irken oil...Zim won't be here in time to keep them from falling apart...WERE ALL GONNA DIE!" She said. Amy started freaking out.

"No!" She made a fist. "I can do ANYTHING! I'm an EPIC AUTHOR! Who likes PIE!"

She put the rusted robots in a soft basket, so she could keep an eye on them.

She got out her laptop.

She started typing.

'Zim was at his house, it was a weekend. GIR had gone off somewhere, and Zim was just thinking about how those two strange beings came to skool the other day and messed with Dib. Zim was working with some machines, doing science stuff that nobody but Zim would care about. And Zim fangirls.'

Amy's eyes glowed. The words glowed. A portal.

She grabbed the basket.

Amy jumped in the portal.

THUMP!

She held the basket, and glanced around. She was in front of Story Zim's house.

She walked through the door.

"Hello?" She called.

"Eh?" She heard across the house.

"ITS YOUR ARTHOR!" She shouted. Course, she did not have to. Epic Author's characters ALWAYS knew their author when they saw them. Even the non-OC's did, because they were part of a story the author wrote. OC's usually greeted their Epic Authors warmly, but canon characters always were a little shaken at first. When Epic Authors went to stories, everyone knew they were in a story. They knew that already, but they can't talk about it or do anything about what happens. Ha. AUTHORS DECIDE THEIR FATE MWAHAHAHAHH! Ahem.

Story Zim ran up.

"You got taller."

"Yes, yes. Real Zim is at Skool, and GIR and my robot are rusted and I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IRKEN OIL!"

"Irken Oil..." Story Zim said.

"Yes! How do I use it? I have to do it myself, or the work would just disappear when we got back!" Amy said.

"Its hard..."

"Then show me!" Amy said.

Story Zim shrugged, and took her to his lab.

Before they went down though, Story Dib jumped down from the ceiling.

"Its you again!" He pointed at Amy.

"Not now, Megaheadatron." Amy said and smacked her pan. It hit giant head.

"Nice move." Story Zim kicked Story Dib out.

"Mm-hmm."

When they were in the lab, Story Zim got out large thick gloves.

"Wear these types of gloves for safety."

Amy poofed some up.

"For SIR's, you need to get them to lay flat." Story Zim said. He got a model of GIR. "Get an Irken sponge, and rub them all over." Story Zim demonstrated. Amy tried it. They used sponges that were not wet.

"Good. Now, for the inside circuits, you turn them off." He showed her. "You open their heads, and clean that.

"Like washing dishes..." Amy muttered.

"Take out their junk first, though." Story Zim said.

"Do I scrape that crud off to?"

"It would help, yes." He closed the model's head. "Then you open their chests..."

Over the next hour, she learned exactly what to do.

Amy thanked Story Zim. She waved, and he saluted.

She went back.

"That was quick." Computer said. "You were gone for ten seconds!"

"Yeah."

She went to the toilet, holding the basket.

"Lab."

"I can't let you-"

"LAB. NOW." Amy growled. She had her most terrifying act on.

The elevator zipped to the lab.

Amy pushed a table up, rolled up her sleeves, poofed gloves, and grabbed an Irken Sponge. She grabbed the bottle of Irken Oil, and tipped it into a pan.

She poofed a lab coat on, and safety goggles.

"Arg why do these goggles always smell like FOOT?"

Amy looked at the oil, already boiling. She gulped, and shook her head.

"GIR! MIR! I can help!" She said.

She laid them on the table, with Irken cloths underneath them.

"Now, MIR, no wiggling of the Body, and GIR, no shaking of the Butt." Amy said.

"I wanna waffle!" GIR said.

"In a moment."

"AWWWW OKAY!"

Amy stared at the oil covered sponge in her hand and shuddered. "Time to clean the crud off the dishes."

She executed her best cleaning job.

Amy dodged a glob of oil, and finished with them. The robots looked normal, but rusty.

She shut them off, and opened their heads.

She threw the beehive in a chute. And the paper clips. And the waffle mix. And a lipstick catalog. And nuts. And the gum.

All from GIR.

She pulled a busted-up engine from MIR.

Then grabbed a metal scraper.

"I'm gonna scrape the crud outta this crud!" Amy said, and started on it.

She cleaned their heads after scraping, and put the stuff back. Except the bees. The bees can go to Antarctica.

She scraped, sprayed, cleaned, sponged, and washed the crud off the robots.

She finally sighed, and threw the sponge away. She poured the oil down the trash.

Amy pulled of her gloves.

She winced and patched up a burn on her arm from the oil.

She cleaned up, and turned the robots on.

"You know, you could have just poofed then clean."

"Epic Author Powers can only do so much." Amy said.

"You did it!" MIR cried.

"My bees..." GIR said. "I'M ALL SHINY!"

"YAY SHINY!"

"NEVER put snow in your heads again." Amy said. She checked the time. 12:00. "Longest Dish washing ever."

She ate a sandwich quickly. GIR and MIR ate waffles.

She collapsed on the sofa.

Now, Amy only naps when sick. Or REALLY tired.

But her muscles were aching, she was brain dead, and gonna have to face a small green alien later. So she needed rest.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Amy rubbed her eyes at 2:00 pm.

She smoothed down her hair, and poofed her clothes clean.

She then flipped herself upside down on the sofa and read.

Every so often she stood up, let the blood rush back to her feet, then flipped again.

At 2:30, she closed the book.

Amy stood up, and shook her head out.

"MIR? GIR?" She called.

"IN DA KITCHEN!" GIR shouted.

"This can't be good." Amy said.

She ran.

And slipped.

"Ow!" She said, and stood up. "Waffle batter?"

"We made a bit to much!" MIR said.

Amy groaned. She snapped her fingers, and the mess was gone. She cleaned herself up AGAIN.

"You need to iron your clothes? I can get you an iron-" Computer started.

"NOOO!" Amy shrieked. "IRONS ARE EVIL!"

"...Okay..."

Amy poofed her clothes wrinkle-free.

"Long story short. Young Amy. Hot Iron. Hand. Burn. Pain. Traumatize."

Amy ran her hands through her hair. "So now, I never touch an Iron. My husbands gonna have to do it when I get married." She said.

"Why would you put your hand on a HOT IRON?"

"Ask stupid, young, me." Amy said. "I wanted to know if it was hot. Guess what? It was."

She went back to reading, this time right side up.

Dora came on the TV.

Amy glanced up, made the TV explode, fixed it, and looked down.

3:00.

"Er...We got a problem." Computer said.

"What?" Amy set her book down.

"The Paste only lasts twelve hours."

Amy raised an eyebrow. "So?...OH." Her face fell. Then lit up. "I HAS TO GO OUT NOW!" She cheered. "GIR! MIR! DISGUISES!"

They ran in. MIR slipped on a disguise, a black dog suit with white paws.

Amy grabbed their collars.

"Bai!"

"Uh...er...okay..." Computer said, and unlocked the door.

And snapped her fingers.

A yellow VW bug appeared.

"Sweet." Amy said. She opened the back for MIR and GIR, who jumped in.

She sat in the drivers seat. It had a controller like a video game, and buttons.

"I wonder..." She pressed a button. A shell flew out of the car and destroyed another. "EPIC! I CAN HURT PEOPLE!"

Amy started to drive. She was a girl gamer, so this was easy.

She drove to the skool, sometimes shooting random cars because she felt like it.

Amy parked. She smacked on sunglasses.

And walked in.

She went to the office.

"Ahem." She said in a high-pitched French accent. "I am Zim's aunt. Can I check him out."

"Whatever." The receptionist pressed a button. "Ms. Bitters, Zim is being checked out. Send him to teh office."

"You will PAY!" Ms. Bitters growled.

A few minutes later, a very confused Zim came to the office. Amy was playing with a cow-mooing thing.

"You FOOL!" He hissed. "What are you DOING?"

"Come along! And...er...I'M STEALING THIS!" Amy grabbed the cow thing and stepped outside.

She turned to Zim. "Your answer?" Snow was everywhere.

For once, Zim was silent.

"Get in the car." She pointed.

"But..." He pointed to the ground.

"GIR!" Amy shouted. GIR flew Zim to the car.

Amy yanked off the sunglasses.

"Your welcome." She said to the pouting Zim. Smugly.

"For WHAT?"

"Saving your butt. Again." Amy turned on the car.

"You can DRIVE?"

"Yes, I play games, and yes, my parents taught me for safety. I've known since I was ten." She said.

She turned. "How you guys doing?"

"Good! LOOK AT THE ROAD!" MIR shouted. Amy swerved past the random kid.

"Relax, I can drive this thing with my eyes closed." Amy tossed the cow thing to the robots.

Lots of mooing.

Amy was silent.

"You don't talk much, do you?" She said.

"No."

"Ah." Amy pressed a button on the radio. All what came out was static. She pressed another. Static.

A red angry sign on her head.

She pressed each one.

She boiled over.

"STUPID JUNKY CAR! CRAP! WORSE THEN MY DADDY'S CAR!" She shouted.

Amy cleared her through and stopped at Zim's place.

They got out, and the car disappeared.

They went inside. The ROBOTS took of the disguises.

"I...er...YOU LEFT!"

"So I could drive your green butt home. I stayed home otherwise."

"She did." Computer said.

Amy smirked.

"And why is your face normal? And cuts?" Zim said.

"Its a cartoon. We heal fast. Except..." Amy held up her hand. She shrugged.

"What did you do?"

"Stuff." Amy said.

"What kind of-"

"STUFFY STUFF."

"Yes, but-"

"THE STUFFY KIND OF STUFF. SUFFERDOODLE. STUFFERINNO. STUUUUUUUFF." Amy said.

"...Okay..."

Amy rubbed her burn discreetly. She wouldn't doubt that he would scan her for new injuries, so she would play it safe.

"Computer! Lab!" Zim commanded. "You come to." He had formed a plan to show her to the Tallest at Skool.

MIR and GIR hopped around. Amy caught them and held them. She stepped inside.

They got to the lab.

Zim typed some things. Amy sat down.

IZIZIZIZ

On the Massive...

"Rye, get more DOGHNUTS!" Purple commanded. The solider saluted, and was about to leave.

"Transmission from EARTH."

"Its ZIM!" Red groaned.

Purple sighed. "Put him on..."

"HELLO MY TALLEST!" Zim said.

"Er...Hello Invader Zim." Red said.

"I bring news!" He turned the side.

He whispered something off-screen.

Red raised an invisible eyebrow.

"Come on!" He whispered.

"Now? Like, now? You are speaking to them now?" A new voice, deeply pitched and full of intelligence.

"COME OVER HERE!" Zim shouted. He looked at the Tallest and smiled. "Eh heh, hang on a moment..."

"What, want me to meet your MOM?"

Purple snickered.

"WHAT? I HAVE NO...MOOM! I...er...ARG!"

"Who is it?"

Zim groaned and facepalmed.

"One moment." He walked off screen.

"Come ON!" He shouted.

"Is it the PIZZA GUY?" A female robot voice.

"No, and it will never be, after a call I made! Master said so!" GIR said happily.

"You want to fight? Fine." Zim said.

"I'm warning you."

"I AM ZIIM!"

A few thumps.

Zim staggered into view, eyes swirly.

Red snickered.

A thing that looked like a human stepped into view. She was slightly taller then Zim, had large bright eyes. She was smirking. She looked a bit out of place.

She glanced at the screen.

Red could have sworn he saw a fierce flash of anger and hate in her eyes. She looked away, and the robots in her arms crawled up. GIR sat on a shoulder, and the new, smaller one sat on her head.

"All you had to do was say something." She said.

"Ow..." Zim moaned. He stood up. "Ahem. This is my slav-"

KAPOW!

A weight had appeared and fell on him.

"Say that again and I'll drop a bus." The girl said.

"My...assistant, a rare species called..."

"Epic Authors. I can go into different dimensions and make new ones and I have Epic Author powers. Like that weight." She snapped her fingers. A seat appeared and she sat down. "I made this robot, MIR. My names Amy." The flash in her eyes again.

MIR whispered something to her.

She snapped her fingers, and three smoothies appeared for her and teh robots.

"I went into another dimension and found her!" Zim said.

"ZIMMEH!" She jumped on him. She got off, dusted herself off. She smirked. She was obviously enjoying this.

"Yeah...I will use her power to rule this planet!" He started blabbing. "Then I will return to..."

Red and Purple watched the girl. She had continued to drink her smoothie with the SIR's. She picked up a gun and examined it.

"What does this button do?"

BOOM!"

The lab exploded. Zim and the girl were surrounded my force fields.

"AUTHOR!" Zim shouted.

"My bad."

Snap.

Okay.

She gave him a bored look. "I'm sure their dead because of your useless junk speech there. I lost interest and 'Then'."

Zim sighed.

"I think its a great plan!" Red said, enjoying how she was bugging Zim. "Er, great job!"

"Yeah! Bye now!' Purple got off.

They laughed.

Rye stared at the screen.

"An Epic Author...here?" He said. An evil grin spread across his face.

"RYE! DOUGHNUTS!"

"Yes, My Tallest!"

IZIZIZIZIZ

Zim was all pleased with himself.

Amy finished her smoothie, and so did GIR and MIR.

She stood up.

Zim turned to her.

"What were you DOING?"

"Nothing." She said. Amy knew the Tallest hated Zim. She was bugging him so the Tallest would praise him and he would be happy.

"The Tallest are Proud of ME!" Zim said.

He suddenly let out his legs in happiness, and accidentally knocked Amy into a wall.

He looked behind himself.

"Oops."

MIR shook Amy. Amy's eyes were swirly. They were inside the wall.

"Something's WRONG!" MIR said.

Zim stared at her.

MIR carried Amy to the scanner.

"Scan!" Zim shouted.

"She's in shock. I think you hit the back of her neck or something, her nervous system has shut down."

"So?"

"So she's not gonna wake up unless you get her to a doctor."

Zim's eyes widened. Without her, he could not rule!

"What's this?" GIR held up a plan. Zim snatched it.

"My old PAK plan..." He muttered. His eyes lit up.

He went to the storage room.

"You have a doctor?" MIR said coldly as he entered again. "If she dies I will-"

"I've got something." Zim said.

"What?" MIR turned, GIR next to her.

Amy was lying on a table; they were in front of her.

He walked around her, and a minute later she suddenly she jolted up.

"Oh HOLY FUDGE WHAT HAPPENED?" She shouted. "WHY DOES MY BACK ITCH LIKE HECK?" She rubbed her back, and stopped.

"Masta?" MIR said.

Amy turned, shaking slightly, to Zim.

Weapons burst from her back. She looked beside her and pumped her fists up. "SWEEET! WEAPONS!"

"You. Put. A. PAK ON HER?" Computer said.

"It'll do until she leaves!" Zim said.

"What happened?" Amy said.

"Zim knocked you in a wall and your nervous system shut down." MIR said quickly.

She turned to him.

"ZIMMEH!" She glomped him epically. "A YELLOW SPOTTED PAK! HOW DID YOU KNOW?" 

"L-lucky guess...?"

Amy blushed, and moved off him.

She glanced behind her, and PAK legs burst out.

She smiled. "EPIC!"

She ran around. "WEEEEE!"

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy yawned and rolled over. "How do you sleep on this thing?"

She turned on her side. "Much better..."

Suddenly, she bolted up. Her PJ's tonight were a pink t-shirt, and yellow sweatpants. (She can poof her clothes on and off. So the PAK doesn't stop her from changing.)

She glanced around.

Amy shrugged, and laid back down. "I'm to paranoid...I thought I heard a squeak..."

She collected her thoughts. _I GOT ME A PAK! I IS HAPPY! Well, Zim seems to trust me more. I wonder what happened to Minimoose?_

She heard something again and jerked up.

Amy opened the door and stuck her head into the cold night. She followed the squeaking sound, and suddenly recognized the language.

"Meepiniese? But...?" (A/N Meepiniese. Its the language of the ancient Meeptonians, and few people know it. No one will stop using it until the Meep Baby shaves. . With proof. It has shaved. I have seen it. BUT NO PROOF!)

She heard it. "I'm buried!" It said. In Meepiniese.

Amy found the spot with the squeaking. A burst on wind whipped her hair around, and she covered her face.

"Help!" Meepiniese again.

Amy started to dig. She pulled something round from the snow.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?" Zim shouted.

Amy stared at the round thing in her hands. She held it closer, warming it.

She got out her PAK legs, and came over.

"I heard a noise." She said.

Zim closed the door. Amy opened her arms.

The Purple Moose flew out.

"Minimoose?" Zim said. "I...you...you were lost!"

"Meep."

"He says he took a bus here. Understandable why he is late." Amy said.

"You UNDERSTAND Minimoose?"

"I'm a member of the Meep Club." Amy said. "Dur."

"Well, Minimoose, this is-"

"I'LL introduce myself." Amy said. She did.

"Meep!"

"Nice to meet you to, and your welcome for finding you. Now, everyone, I'm gonna go crash on teh sofa. G'night."

Amy laid back down.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Rye laughed evilly.

"I WILL rule all! Set courses for Earth." He said. He was in a Voot.

**Epic. Now, thats all of my dream. BUT, I have a secret way to continue were I left off in my dreams. Its hard. But I can do it. ~ Commander Author Amy, SIGNING OFF!**


	5. Rye OH CRAP

Amy woke up at 5:00.

She got her BIDNESS done, and came out dressed in a white short-sleeved t-shirt, and baggy jeans. She had a belt on, no worries. "MIR?" She called.

GIR walked up to her, well, rode up to her on Minimoose.

"Weres MIR?" 

"I don't know..." Amy said. She went down to the lab, with GIR and Minimoose in her arms.

She put the down and glomped Zim.

"AUG! YOU DARE STARTLE ZIIIIM?"

"Its called a GLOMP!" Amy said. She gathered up the moose and robot in her arms again because she liked holding cute things. Yes. "Have you seen MIR?"

"Your small robot?"

Amy nodded.

"No."

"I'm going to go look for her."

"You can't-"

"Shut up. I'll bring GIR and Minimoose."

"Oh, fine!"

"What day is today?" Amy said.

"Wednesday!" Zim said.

"Oh."

Amy shrugged, and slid on her hat.

"Besides, I have LOADS of weapons in here." She pointed to her PAK.

Minimoose turned into an airplane. GIR put on his dog suit.

Amy left the house, into the cold winter.

"MIR! MIR!" She called.

"Meep! Meep!" Minimoose said. (Translation: MIR! MIR!) "Squeak?"

"Who is MIR? My small SIR that I made myself." Amy said. "She's about half GIR's size."

Amy suddenly pointed at a mailbox. "HOLY CROW WERES DA CAMERA?"

"...Meep?"

"We are at Dib's house. I'm paranoid." Amy said. "Not a good combination."

A light bulb literally came above her head.

"GIR, stop doing that, I'm getting an idea!"

GIR took off the light bulb suit.

Amy knocked on the door.

Dib opened.

"Amy! Its-"

"Were is she?"

"Wha-what?" Dib said. He noticed Amy's PAK. "YOU HAVE A THINGY ON YOUR BACK?"

"Life support." Amy said. She snapped a picture of Dib. "Sign this."

He signed her book quickly.

She glared at him. "Were. Is. My. SIR?"

"Er...uh..."

"This what your looking for?" Gaz walked up and held up MIR.

"MIR!" Amy squeezed her SIR in a hold that would kill a living thing.

"It crashed through his window early this morning. It was like sleep walking."

Gaz left.

Amy glared at Dib, shrugged, and got out her PAK legs. She hopped on his house, MIR in her arms, and started going back to the base.

Suddenly, she felt a shot in her leg.

Like a gun.

Amy instantly hit the floor, and let out all her weapons. Never. Startle. Her.

"WHO? IS? IT?" She shouted.

An Irken she did not know came out.

"Who are you?" She hissed.

"No one you should know, Author."

"I! HAVE! A! NAME!" She shouted. "Minimoose! GO GET HELP!"

"Meep!"

The Irken shot him to the ground.

GIR caught him.

Amy tried to get up, but multiple wounds stopped her.

"Great, now I need MORE stingy bad stuff." She hissed.

"Not after this." Everything went black.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Zim tapped his foot, grumbling.

"Zim!" Computer said.

"WHAT?"

"I just received a distress signal from Minimoose and GIR! They say they found MIR, but some Irken stopped them and...and...OH MY SCREEN!"

"WHAT?"

"They are underground. They have been captured by another IRKEN!"

"NO ONE RUINS THE PLANS OF ZIIIM!" Zim shouted. "Where are they located?"

IZIZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy rubbed her head. "Come on, giant bat of death? Ow..." She poofed up an ice pack and glanced around.

Stupid flimsy straps on the table that held her down. She had broken them easily.

She stared at the equipment.

"Feh, stupid Irken." She scoffed. She shouted to MIR.

MIR looked up from a glass tube and broke the glass.

Amy lifted the glass off GIR and Minimoose, who had no disguises.

Minimoose squeaked.

Amy turned around.

"Not another bat!" She turned to the side. "Who ARE you?"

"You don't need to know." The Irken said. He was taller then Zim, EVERYONE was, and had blue eyes.

"Wha...?"Amy ducked again. She held her hand up to protect her face.

The bat hit her finger and she started hopping around.

"COME ON I BROKE THAT ALREADY!" She glanced behind her and got her PAK legs out.

Amy grabbed Minimoose and GIR and MIR, and hopped to the ceiling.

She stuck her tongue out.

The Irken let out HIS PAK legs.

Amy facepalmed. "Dur."

She started fighting.

Soon, she had him pinned.

Amy glared at his eyes. Something clicked.

"RYE?" She shouted. "I GAVE UP YOUR IDEA!"

"...Your my author?" He looked surprised, then realization clouded his eyes.

"HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE FILE ON MY COMPUTER? I NEVER EVEN UPLOADED YOU!" Amy pushed away. Rye was a bad story idea that was crap. She never uploaded his story. "You are supposed to be in the graveyard! You tried to kill me already!" (A/N...Long story...)

"I escaped. And...OH! I REMEMBER NOW!" An evil grin appeared on his face. "All this time, I have been waiting to meet my author again...for REVENGE! I can get revenge AND take over this universe!"

"You wouldn't." Amy hissed.

"Try me."

Amy shoved him. HARD. He made a hole in the wall. She crawled out.

"Forest. Crap." She hissed.

BOOM!"

Amy flew into a tree.

She rubbed the side of her face.

"YOU DON'T PUNCH GIRLS! GIRLS PUNCH BOYS!" She shouted. Amy suddenly spit on the ground. She spit out a tooth.

She stared at it in disgust. It was really long.

"That's not my tooth..."

"MASTA!" MIR shouted.

Amy deflected the next punch. She shoved her knee in his chest, and he gasped for air.

Amy glared at him.

"Why oh WHY did I make this dude so STRONG?" She shouted.

WHAT WERE HIS WEAKNESSES? HOW DID SHE DEFEAT HIM LAST TIME?

Amy's eyes lit up. "Robots! COME TO ME!"

MIR, GIR, and Minimoose flew to her.

She cupped her hands around her mouth.

"THUNDERBOLT!" She shouted.

The robots stared at her, and her eyes flashed.

They suddenly shocked Rye.

"YESSSSS HORRAY FOR POKEMON MOVES!" Amy said, hopping up and down. "You drink TO MUCH WATER! I GOT YOU! I SHOCKED YOU WITH AN OUTLET THE FIRST TIME!" She jabbed her finger in front of Rye's face. "I! BEAT! YOU!"

She took a ride on the gloat parade.

IZIZIZIZ

"Got any sixes?" MIR said to Minimoose.

"Squeak."

"Darn."

"I'm DONE!" Amy shouted.

"OKAY!" MIR and the others stuffed the cards into GIR's head and went to her.

Amy glared at Rye. "I made you. I CAN'T LOSE!" She shouted. "I DON'T LIKE GETTING HIT WITH BATS!"

Rye looked mad. "I WILL win!"

"NOT ANYTIME SOON, SUCKAH!" She shouted. She turned on her heel. "Lets go."

"Were?" GIR said.

"We are lost!" MIR said.

Amy tried to ponder.

Suddenly, she was hit with a bat.

"MASTA!" MIR shouted.

She shook Amy, and pressed a button on the PAK. It did a quick repair cycle.

Amy jolted up, and saw a small shape attack Rye.

She rubbed her eyes, and picked up the bat.

"NOBODY MOVE!" She shouted, and the bat was a huge gun.

The scuffle stopped.

She saw Zim and Rye yanking on each other antennas.

Zim walked over to her.

"You don't know how to shoot that!" Rye shouted. He stepped in front of her.

Amy glanced at the gun, and switched to a different pose.

"I know it's heavy."

CLANG.

Rye fell over. Amy dropped the gun.

"SUCKA!" She shouted.

"Who is he?" Zim said.

"Evil old idea that I hated. He escaped. Wants revenge and to rule universe." Amy said. "Feeling...sleepy..." She held up a finger, about to say something, and then fell asleep.

Zim sighed.

"She used up alota energy!" MIR said. "AND SHE WHOOPED HIS BUTT!"

"He got his face wiped." GIR said cheerfully.

Amy teetered and fell on Zim, who pushed her away with one finger.

MIR and GIR caught her.

"Lets get back." Zim said.

"I got that WHOLE THING on camera!" Dib jumped out.

"You mean...YOU COULD HAVE HELPED?" Zim hissed.

Dib gulped, realizing his stupidity.

Amy flailed her arms around.

"Get...jellybeans...yogurt...Dib's...head...surgery...waffle...pigs...tattoo..." She muttered.

Her frying pan flew over and smacked Dib.

"How...?" Zim said.

"I really don't know." MIR answered.

IZIZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy rubbed her eyes. "Please tell me..." She sat up, propping herself up with an elbow.

Amy looked at the sofa. She yawned, and snapped her fingers, changing into clean clothes instantly. They were the same as before.

"Ah, your awake." Computer said.

Amy poofed up an Ice Pack.

"What time is it?"

"Nine. You were out for two hours."

"Sheesh." Amy sneezed. "Aug."

She crossed her legs. "Is green-face here?"

"Yes, and I don't think he's going to be happy you called him that."

Amy leaned back. "Five...four...three...two...one."

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Zim shouted from below her feet. She smirked.

Amy hopped up, and walked to the toilet. She scooped up MIR who was nearby, and stepped in it.

She went down to the lab.

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Whats with the lights, and the machine, and the tools?"

"New EVIL plan!" Zim laughed evilly.

Amy raised an eyebrow.

She looked at the machine, bored.

"What is it supposed to do?"

"Control the humans minds!"

Amy sneezed.

"Eww!" Zim said.

"Relax, I sneezed into a tissue." Amy sniffed. "I caught a cold being outside in the snow without a jacket."

She poofed the tissue away.

"Maybe you shouldn't be down here..." Zim said.

"Meh." Amy put MIR on her head.

MIR smiled. "I sleepwalk! Or fly!"

"Is that normal?" Zim said.

"Sort of." Amy shrugged. "She does it a lot."

"Speaking of which, how did you make that SIR?"

"Clay, metal, and author powers. Milly helped me." Amy said. "MIR looks like a clay robot to anyone I tell her, and if I tell her to show herself, she will."

"Who is Milly?" Zim said, as he worked.

Amy leaned against the wall. "My twin sister. I'm older. She looks like me, but with dark red hair, and she's not breaking out as much. Her eyes have a bit more green then blue in them." Amy sneezed again.

"So you say your power is greater with her?"

"I'm not bringing her here." Amy said. She coughed. "Crap, I think I dislodged my brain with that cough."

"REALLY?" Zim looked freaked.

She facepalmed. "I'm using an expression, genius."

Amy coughed and sneezed at the same time. "Eww...I'm going back to the sofa. Don't you have Skool?"

"What? Oh, no!" Zim put his disguise on, and ran out.

"Stupid." Amy said. She shrugged, and went back to the living room.

GIR was riding Minimoose.

Amy opened her laptop, and sneezed.

"Urg, my nobe ib all buffed up" She said.

The Computer snickered.

"You be quiet." She snapped. "I'm going on Netflix."

"Whats that?"

"Place were people can watch buff."

She clicked on Futerama.

"Did you bow that the guy who boices the main character was bupposed to boice Zim?" She said.

"Wow. That would be wrong."

Amy played the pilot episode, and soon GIR, MIR, Minimoose, and The Computer were all laughing so hard their sides hurt.

Amy too.

"Ib be wrong." She said. "Just wrong."

**Sorry this took awhile, I had a bit of trouble. And, I guess the cold part came because I really do have a cold! Grr...stupid germs. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEW AND GET A HUG FROM MIR AND A CHOCOLATE BAR!~ Commander Author Amy, SIGNING OFF!**


	6. SHUT UP NOW

"AH-CHOO!" Amy sneezed.

"Bless you." MIR said.

"Thanks. My cough is better, thanks to the medicine I poofed up." Amy said and smiled.

A car whooshed by.

"HI!" Amy shouted.

"Amy?" Computer asked.

"Yes?" Amy said, her voice off from her throat being messed up.

"Who did you get to be this way?"

"Ah, thats a long and sad story..." Amy said.

"YAY STORYTIME!" MIR cheered, and sat next to her. GIR did to, eyes shining.

Amy laughed.

"Alright."

Computer starting taping for Zim.

FLASHBACK MODE.

(Parenthesis mean Amy is telling the story.)

(I was a shy, quiet, reading girl when I was younger.)

A younger Amy, sitting at a school desk reading.

(Kids did not like my love for reading, or things I like. I wore boy shoes, and shirts. They said I was a loser. I had no friends.)

Young Amy.

"Uh...Hi!" She says to someone next to her.

"Hey, your that weird kid from last year!"

"Um..."

The kid makes a grossed-out face.

(As I got older, nothing changed. Well...almost.)

An older Amy then the last, reading outside her house.

A girl walks up, with sandy-colored hair and freckles.

"Hi, Amy! Want to play? You can tell me all about your books!"

"Sure!"

(I made my first real friend because of a jerk in my neighborhood showed me her. That was also the first person I beat up.)

A large kid, with a young Amy.

"Leave my brother alone!" Amy shouted.

"And?" The older kid threw rocks.

"Leave, him, ALONE!"

Boom!

"Ow..."

(She could be fun and free. Then, I met my other best friend, when I first found Pokemon. My first love: Ash Ketchum. MIR, don't laugh, I'm telling a story! She was wild and carefree. And in my school.)

In a school...

"Amy, look! I got my Pokemon cards!"

"So do I! I love Pikachu and Eevee, they are so CUTE!"

"Oh, the teachers coming!"

"Lets get our partner assignment out!"

"Great job, girls!" The Teacher said.

(I was carefree to. But not in public. I was always alone. )

A younger Amy's room.

She glanced around.

"I LOVE MUH PIE!"

(My sister was always shy, but spoke her mind.)

"Your face is bugging me!" A young Milly said to a little jerk.

(Then, I went to a new school. That was last year. My friends did not go to this school, but I kept in touch.)

A year younger Amy reading.

"Hey, move over!" a kid said.

Amy moved over to the seat next to her.

"Idiot." The kid said.

(It was the worst year ever.)

"Hey, she's reading! Come on, that's so lame!' A boy pointed at Amy.

"I like reading!"

"Do you have a cell phone?" A girl asked.

"Uh...no and I don't want one."

"Do you watch MTV?"

"What's that?"

"What a gross freak." Everyone said.

Amy looked down and tried to block everything out.

A boy walked to her.

"Wanna go out?" He said.

"What?"

The boy's friends snickered.

"No!" Amy said.

"Come on, Amy, your so...pretty! HAHA!"

"Go away or I'll hit you with my violin!" Amy held it up.

"Come on, Amy, be my girlfriend?"

His friends were laughing hard.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

(Idiot. He was doing that to annoy me. Lunch was awful.)

Amy glanced around.

She sighed.

"Er...is this seat-"

"TAKEN!"

"Is someone-"

"TAKEN!"

Amy sat down at a table by herself.

(Then, it happened. The last few weeks of the year. I was in a group with three boys against my will. One boy was just talking, and talking, and not helping.)

"Er...Jack..." Amy said. (A/N names have been changed so people won't hunt him down and murder him, which is what a friend would do.)

"What?"

"We kinda have to get this done..."

"Hang on."

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

"Jack! Please! I would like to get a good grade!"

"Quit bugging me, shorty!"

"I'm fun size!"

"No, your fat."

"Wha-" Amy glanced down. "I'm thinner than you! Arg, just, whats your idea for the play we have to write?"

"Lets have it be a donkey named Amy. A FAT and UGLY one."

"But-But-" Amy sputtered. Her rage boiled over. "Look who's talking, chunky! I've got unusual eyes, blond hair, and look at yourself! Your the donkey!"

(It went on for the rest of the day, the other boys supporting Jack. The next day was no better.)

"Look, its HER."

Amy was silent.

"Are you wearing a POKEMON shirt? Thats such an awful show!"

"Hey, I like it!"

"It awful. That shirt looks awful, your so fat."

"I've got my likes, you got yours. Just leave me alone!"

"You started it!"

"You did! Lets just stop this. So, I typed up the script for the play, now we have to figure out the puppets, the song, and the book."

"Let me see that."

Amy gave him one.

"Your kidding me."

"I wrote down what we decided on!"

"This is so stupid!"

"But-how?"

"Your just an idiot!"

"HEY! I'M IN ADVANCED CLASSES!"

"They must have made a mistake, ugly."

"My parents tell me I'm smart and pretty all the time!"

"They lied. They don't love you."

(And so on. That night I told my mom.)

"He SAID that?" Amy's mom said.

"Oh, I wish I was back in your class...but we got mixed up when the groups were assigned!" Milly said.

"He...called me stupid...and words I won't repeat!" Amy sobbed.

"I'm talking to the school!" Amy's mom said.

"Just ignore it, words don't hurt!" Jacob said.

"Wrong." Amy whispered. "Words cut deep."

(The next day, Jack and I talked to the counselor, and Jack blamed me. The lady said for us to make up and stop. I agreed. But...after math classes...)

"Morning!" Amy said cheerfully to everyone.

Jack was telling something to the boys. They gave her some type of dirty looks.

"Um..."

(The whole day, Jack was just impolite, shoving, annoying me, and saying things to the other's that make then laugh and look at me. I caught a few things. Like... 'Fat', 'Ugly', and few bad things. I told my mom, and the next day the guidance lady gave Jack a talking to. I got dirty looks from him for the rest of the year, but that's it. I was so upset that I could not stand up for myself.)

Amy was on her bed. She is the same age she is now. She stared at a picture of Jack, and tore it to bits.

(I saw one of my friends, the second one for a sleepover. I saw the other one to.)

"Amy! Hi!"

"Hey!" Amy said. "Ready to play with the pokemon toys and make 'em fight?"

"Actually...I need to talk first."

"What?"

"I've changed. I like Justin Beiber!"

(I did not hate or like Justin Beiber, but it was startling.)

"And I've started wearing skirts! Now lets play!"

(That night, we talked a lot.)

"You have changed a lot. More...calm." Amy said.

"Well...I've changed because kids at school were jerks!" She said sadly. "They made fun of my crappy style!"

"Your not crappy!"

"Yes, but kids were jerks."

(The next day, after she left, I realized something. I was changing because of jerks.)

"I'm starting to...dislike my likes!" Amy said.

(That summer, I had gotten into Invader Zim. I already had Epic Author powers and knew about them. I was just rusty.)

Amy practicing her powers.

(As I got better, I realized it. I would not let anyone change who I am. I would be all out Amy. The new school year started, and I was all out Amy. I made a few friends. Just friends right now. But now, I'm Amy always.)

OVER.

"Wow...that was such a mean kid..." Computer said.

"Tell me about it. I still want to punch his face off every time I see him. AND EAT IT." Amy said. She laughed. "Milly's helped me so much throughout the years."

"TELL THE STORY OF THE GREAT BOOK!" MIR cheered.

Amy thought. "Sure, Sure."

(Many years ago, in caveman time, with hairy men and woman, a man found charcoal and stone.)

A hairy cavemen held up a coal and a slab of stone.

He scratched his butt.

(He scratched out a story, and it happened.)

The caveman wrote. The book suddenly glowed.

"Ahh...I'm alive!" It said.

"Ug!" The Caveman said.

"I have found you! The first Epic Author! I am THE GREAT BOOK!"

"Ug what?"

"An Epic Author! You wrote about being a mammoth. Well, here." A story portal opened. The caveman stared.

"Shiny."

The great book pushed him in.

The Caveman was suddenly a mammoth.

(He went on a adventure I'm to lazy to talk about, then was back.)

"See?" The Great Book said.

"UG EPIC!" The Caveman said.

The Great Book turned into a leather-bound book with gold letters.

"Yes."

(To this day, Ug is still alive, but old and wrinkly. The truth is, Milly and I are SOME OF THE youngest Epic Authors out there.)

Amy smiled.

"I know a few on Fanfiction. A good one is InvaderCakez, a great friend of mine. She's one of the youngest. Epic Authors that have their power when young are usually strongest. Milly, she is more of an Epic Helper, she's helped me with many-a story's." Amy laughed. "I would be nothing without her."

Amy took a swing of water.

"Epic Authors usually find their powers when they are 25. Thats what I mean about young." She said.

"Masta OLD?" MIR cried.

"NO I WOULD HAVE WRINKLES THEN!" Amy cried. She laughed. "Nah, I'm just one of those I-don't-wanna-grow-up kids. If only I could fly..."

"Why exactly ARE there Epic Authors?" Computer said.

"See, evil creatures would escape from different dimensions, as movies, shows, and books were made. Epic Authors were made to write GOOD stories, TV show, movies, ect. Also, Epic Authors have powers so they can fight the evil. LIKE SUPERHEROS!" Amy stuck a pose. "Ever since I was a little girl I hated being human. We polluted. We had wars. We killed. I wanted to be a hero for many years. THEEEEEEEN I found out I was an Epic Author. SWEETNESS.' Amy said. She sat down on the couch.

She drank her water.

Amy suddenly had a coughing fit.

"Woah, are you okay?"

"Yeah..." Amy said.

She sighed. "If I had some real medicine..."

"What?"

"I need medicine for an Epic Author, not a human."

Amy sniffed.

Her eyes lighted up. Then darkened. "Oh, crap, Milly's to tired. When she's to tired, I can't do anything. We stayed up late that night..."

"What about Jacob?" MIR asked.

"Yeah right." Amy scoffed.

"Jacob?" The Computer said.

"My younger brother." Amy said. "He's normal. I think."

"Nah, he gave a strange aura!" MIR said happily.

"What?"

"Jacob had a strange aura."

Amy imitated Zim's look. "You can see AURA'S? I guess you learn something new everyday...I'll try it."

She coughed.

Amy laid flat on her back.

She traced her brothers name in the air.

Words appeared. His name.

MEANWHILE, IN THE REAL WORLD...

A young boy, with short blond hair, opened his eyes. His eyes were green-blue-gray, with more blue then green. He looked over, surprised.

His fan was off.

Jacob waved his hand in front of it.

"What the-" He looked at his alarm clock. For a minute. Nothing changed.

The hermit crab did not move.

Jacob got up.

He ran into Milly's room.

"Milly-" He started. "Oh, duh, she's asleep."

He walked across the bathroom.

"Amy?" He said, looking into her room.

She was not there.

Her fan was off too.

Btu it was plugged in, Jacob saw.

He saw her bedside light on.

Jacob left the room, and gasped at a glowing portal in the living room. He rubbed his eyes.

It turned pink and blue.

"Jacob? You hear me?" He heard Amy.

Jacob inched near the portal.

"Amy...what is that thing?"

"A portal. You know, I already told you I was an Epic Author."

"I-I thought you were kidding!"

"Well, you SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO THINK HARDER!" Amy said loudly.

He heard her cough.

"Whats going on? Time has-"

" Not stopped. Its going REALLY REALLY slow." Amy said. "I told you that too."

"Oh..."

"I need your help. Zim and Dib, from that show I like came here through a different portal. I'm in Invader Zim."

"Oh, no! Are you being cut open?"

"No, you moron, Zim would not do that."

"He scares me..."

"Your scared of lots of things. Including scary stories. I'LL TELL ONE NOW! ONCE APON TIME A MAN AND WIFE WERE-"

"NO! What do you want?" Jacob said.

"Epic Author medicine." Amy coughed again.

"Y-your sick?"

"Remember that guy, Rye?"

"Y-yeah, the creepy guy dressed up like an alien?"

"He is real. AND TRIED TO KILL MY BEHIND!" Amy shouted.

"I sorta feel bad for him..." Jacob said.

"I caught a cold. Here, follow my instructions. Call Molly, she is not affected."

"Molly?" Jacob called.

The black mutt walked up.

"Oh, great, HIM." She thought.

"Press my fave number into the keypad."

"Were?"

"Molly?" Amy said.

A keypad opened on Molly's collar. Jacob gulped, and typed the long number.

A door opened in the wall.

"Now, spit on the scanner." Amy said.

Jacob did.

"Scanning your mouth fluids..." A computer said.

An elevator opened.

"Jacob, go down, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, but, a vial of pills on my desk." Amy sneezed and coughed at the same time.

Jacob went down.

A BUNCH of doors in a room.

The room was full of books, and various weapons and random items. Like a Kermit doll. Amy liked the Muppets.

Jacob saw a desk with a large computer. He walked over and picked up the bottle.

And left quickly.

"I-I'm back." He said.

"Great." Amy said. "Toss it in the Portal, then I'll shut off my connection and you will fall asleep."

Jacob threw it in, but tripped on the carpet. He fell in.

Everything turned black.

IZIZIZIZ 

Amy tapped her foot in front of Zim's house.

"Come on!" She grumbled.

A portal opened up, and she caught the pills.

"WHAT IS THIS?" She heard her brother shout a spilt second before she caught him.

Jacob gave her a sheepish smile.

"Idiot." Amy spit on the ground next to her. After dropping Jacob.

"I tripped!"

"Only powerful beings can go through a portal!" Amy said.

"Masta..." MIR said.

Amy froze. "Oh, CRAP!"

She snapped, and a huge scanner appeared. She scanned her brother.

"Subject: Jacob. Species: Lego Builder."

Amy face palmed. "Of course."

"A Lego Builder is a Lego master that can make anything out of Lego's. They can make Lego's appear." MIR said, going into duty mode.

Amy groaned.

"Okay, lets kick your butt out before Zim gets back." She said, looking at her brother.

"WHAT?" Jacob looked at Zim's house. "AHHHH HE'S GONNA PROBE ME!"

Amy sweatdropped. She coughed, and took a pill. Her symptoms left. Except for her post-nasal drip. Is that what you call it...? Anyway.

She sighed with relief.

Amy looked at Jacob.

"If I call you, you come." She kicked him into the portal.

Jacob fell into the real world, and fell asleep instantly. With his head on the carpet and his butt in the air.

Molly scoffed. "Stupid." She barked quietly.

Amy sighed.

"What a stupid, yet smart, kid."

She glanced around.

"Wait...I'M OUT!"

Amy looked at her feet.

"Crud, I WANT to obey rules? Whats wrong with my head?" She went back inside.

"Got your medicine?" The Computer said.

"Yes, and my brother is a Lego Builder." Amy growled the last part.

"So, how did you meet Rye the first time?"

"Oh, AGAIN with the stories?"

"Yup."

"Oh, fine. No flashback though. It was a Monday morning in the summer. I had come up with an idea, and I wrote an entire story, well, back-story before I knew it. I went back and read it. It was a total...male mary-sue. I decided not to upload it, and I got on with my life. On Saturday, I was reading a book in my room, when Jacob came up saying a guy in a alien costume was looking for an 'Author'.

He assumed it was me, because I always boasted about my Epic-Authorness. Course he never believed me then."

Amy drank some water.

"I was suspicious, and peeked out my window. I freaked out. Rye, with his jagged cape, and blue clothes was there. I don't know how he got out the story, but I knew he wanted to kill me. I was nervous, because Rye is taller then me and had great fighting skills. I mustered up my courage, and walked in front of him, arms crossed. I glared at him. I was all, "How did you get out?" and he was all, "I don't know but I want to kill you and stuff," And I was, "No," And he was like, "Yes," And I was, "No, and he was, "Yes, and I was, "I'll kick your alien butt," and he was, "Yeah right bring it one little squirt," And I was all BOOM CHIKA BLAM, and he was all ow, then he started to win. My parents and Milly were out, and the house was starting to get broken."

Amy stopped talking, making it more dramatic. A kid talked outside.

"SHUT YOUR FACE I'M TRYING TO BE DRAMTIC!" Amy shouted.

Silence.

"Idiotic Jacob was using the WII to loud to hear me. Rye had me pinned, and he had a knife. I was, "Why?" And he was, "You never completed me," And I was, "Because you sucked!" Then I remembered Rye drank a lot of water. I saw a power outlet, and shoved him into it. He was shocked unconscious. Milly came home, and we sent him to the evil guy graveyard full of evil things epic authors have to fight. We also erased his memory. And fixed the house." Amy said.

MIR clapped.

"Cha." Amy said.

She leaned back and looked at the ceiling.

She closed her eyes.

IZIZIZIZ

"Wake up." MIR nudged Amy.

Amy moaned. "Urg..." She jerked awake. "How long was I out?"

"Five hours. You must have been tired."

"Well, I guess I was...and sick...and hurt..." Amy said. She smiled a bit.

At that moment, the door opened and Zim ran in panting.

"Dib?" Amy said.

"Dib." Zim locked it.

He shook snow off his wig and took off his contacts.

"Why is your head fur messy?"

Amy looked at MIR's shiny metal, and gasped. She smoothed her hair down. "Bed head."

"She moves a lot when she sleeps!" Computer said. "Jeez..."

"I was asleep most of the time." Amy said. She still looked tired. Amy took off her splint. "Ahh, still sore, but not broken."

She saw Zim stare at her.

"No more stingy bad stuff."

"Alright! Do...you think that Rye will be back."

"Maybe. Probably." Amy said. "Just give me a gun and I'll be fine."

MIR was making a NO BAD IDEA DON'T DO IT gesture.

"No." Zim said. MIR sighed with relief.

"Aw."

"ZIM! I WILL GET YOU SOMEDAY!" Dib shouted outside. Amy looked at the door.

"What was your late excuse?"

"That I was attacked by PITIFUL HUMANS AND WAS LATE!" Zim shouted the last part.

"Ok-ayyy." Amy said.

"AND YOUR GUTS WILL BE-" Dib said.

"SHUT YOUR FACE BEFORE I MAKE YOU EAT IT!" Amy shouted.

Silence.

"Whats your new evil plan?" Amy said.

"My machine that will control minds is almost done!" Zim said.

"And what do I do?"

"Power it!"

"You did not think this plan through to well, did you?"

"LIES!" Zim shouted.

Amy shrugged. She watched as Zim went down to his lab.

She laid on her stomach, and fell asleep.

IZIZIZIZ

"DIB!"

Amy woke up, still woozy.

"Wha...?" She saw Dib run past. Her vision was blurry, her throat sore. The medicine had worn off.

Amy rubbed her eyes.

"Why did you not stop him?" Zim said. "He destroyed the machine!"

"I was asleep, trying to HEAL! DUR!" Amy said. "I heal faster when I'm asleep! Thats why I sleep so much when I'm sick or hurt! And I'm both! So just shut up and let me go back to sleep!" Amy said.

"Uh, oh, grouchy Amy!" MIR said.

"And this sofa is REALLY not the best bed!" Amy said.

She threw her hands up. "Why don't I just poof a bed up? OH! I'M SICK!" Amy said. "DUR!"

She sat down, muttering.

Zim blinked.

MIR tapped his boot.

Her looked down.

"She's in a bad mood cause she had a few nightmare's." MIR said. "I can tell, she will jerk around. SHE NEEDS TO DREAM ABOUT WAFFLES!"

"What did she...dream about? What is a dream?"

"I dunno!" MIR said.

"A dream is your sub-conscious thoughts." Amy said sleepily. "They can be scary, or fun, or just plain weird. I once dreamt that I was a blue monkey. It was weird."

"Oh, Zim, I recorded her stories. You may want to hear them." Computer said.

"She dreamt that Rye had made her go...CCCK." MIR said, moving her hand across her throat. "And that thunder and lightning were...HERE!. She's...astro...astri...astraphobic!" She looked proud of herself.

"How can you tell?" GIR asked MIR.

"Squeak." Minimoose said. (Yeah, how?)

"I'm EPIC THAT WAY!" MIR struck a pose.

"Dreams..." Zim said. "I AM A GEN-"

"Shut up!" Amy growled. She waved her hand, and her clothes changed to a dark gray long-sleeved top and black long pants, both with power tools all over them. She gulped down her medicine.

She pulled her pillow over her head. The pillow from home. (She actually has a teddy bear too, it was inside the pink-and blue pillowcase next to the pillow. She would never tell Zim that, though. Heh.)

MIR put a finger over her lips and looked at GIR ad Minimoose Zim sped to his lab.

"The tapes-" Computer said.

"Yes, put them up!" Zim commanded.

He watched with no expression.

"I think she is just as tough as you." The Computer said. "I mean, just as stubborn."

"ZIM IS NOT STUBBORN!"

"Yes you are, and you better keep quiet-"

"SHUT YOUR FACE BEFORE I RUN OVER IT!" Amy shouted.

Zim lowered his voice, freaked out.

"Just, show me the Dib's damage." He said.

"Over there." Computer said.

Zim looked despite having to finger to follow.

He groaned. "Its RUINED!"

MIR came in.

"Masta said to be quiet or...um...she will yank your guts out with her bare hands and...uh...eat them, regurgitate them, and eat them again." She said.

And left.

Silence.

"She really scares me." Computer said. "In a good way."

"Yeah..."

Amy tossed and turned.

In the real world...

Milly jerked awake. She had been dreaming her sisters dream. She saw everything.

But...

Milly gulped. With Amy, her specialty with Epic Authorness is creating new portals. But Milly...she could see the future. Sorta. Like, she can sometimes predict things.

And Amy was is danger. GRAVE danger.

Milly paced back and forth in her room. They were to far apart for her to send a message, and Milly, she, well, sleepwalks. Sometimes. Amy put an author lock on her room, so Milly can't leave at night.

Milly glared at her unchanging clock.

"And she has not even made out with Zim yet!" She grumbled. Frankly, Milly was more of a Dib girl herself.

Milly rubbed her temple. Amy was always better at this.

"ARG!" Milly shouted. Her older twin! WHAT! CAN! MILLY! DO!

She kicked her wall, and made a hole.

She looked down. "Oh."

Milly crawled out, and ran to the living room.

She saw her brother asleep. Molly was asleep.

She looked up at Milly.

Milly put a hand in the portal. A burning pain made her pull it out.

"YOW! That SMARTS!" Milly shouted. She poked the portal, and more pain. "What IS that?"

The portal was yellow. Milly stared at it.

She could faintly see a lock floating inside.

She squinted.

"A...authors lock? But... only..." Her voice faltered. "He's gonna kill her. And he doesn't want any interrupts of mine."

"That creepy guy that almost killed her?" Molly shouted. To Milly, she just barked. Molly had tried to help Amy when she was attacked, but sadly Rye had knocked her out before she could stink him out and fart. (A/N Molly's known for having silent but violent flatulence. And her butt is always pointed at us. Bleh.)

"Rye!" Milly said. She crumpled to the floor. "Amy's so screwed! AUG!" She shouted.


	7. SKOOL AND DUN DUN DUN

Amy rubbed her eyes, yawning. Her symptoms were gone, and she felt refreshed and energized.

Amy sat up.

"SHES WOKED UP! SHES WOKED UP!" MIR and GIR screamed, racing across the house. Amy stared at them. She walked over to her bathroom.

"Author!" Zim shouted.

She turned. "My names Amy, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"Author, Amy, whatever!" Zim said, facing her.

Amy really only had to look down a little, Zim was a bit taller then her brother.

"Well, what? I wanna get dressed." Amy said.

"Are those stories all true?" He said.

"Hm? Yeah. Rye is a creep. Jack is a loser. Ug is wrinkly." Amy said. "Now be gone."

She went inside.

Zim stared at the door.

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Amy shouted.

Zim took some steps back.

"JUST GO AWAY!"

Zim went to his lab.

Amy sighed, relived, and clawed at her PAK.

"Why does it itch!" She shouted.

IZIZIZIZ

Amy came out, in green sweatpants and a soccer jersey from her team.

She squeezed her short hair, letting the water drip and thinking of how it would be funny if Zim stepped in it.

Amy felt the need to put her hair up, and poofed up some hairbands. It was to short for a ponytail, but okay for two low ones. She struggled with it for five minutes, having not cared about her looks so long she never learned how to do it right. But she's learning.

Zim walked in, and stared at her.

"What-"

"Don't ask." Amy yanked a tangle out, and made grunting noise that indicated she was swearing in grunt-form.

Finally, she put her hair in two messy low ponytails.

Zim just stared.

"Not now." Amy said.

She looked at him. A grin spread across her face.

Zim stepped back.

To late.

"ZIMMY!" Amy glomped him.

She blushed as she got off him.

But it was a good blush, she obviously enjoyed it.

Glomping Zim, I mean.

"Arg..."

"Hehe." Amy laughed.

She suddenly burst out laughing.

"What?"

"I like a green alien wearing a dress!" Amy burst out. She laughed so hard tears ran down her face. She laughed at things like this a lot. Her laughter was like a hyena. Loud. And so funny you usually laugh when you hear it.

Zim watched her.

Amy's laughter soon became contagious, and be started to laugh in his evil way.

Amy's thoughts spiraled. She was ACTUALLY getting Zim to like her.

She stopped laughing for a moment. Zim did and looked at her.

"Pudding!" Amy squeaked out.

Silence.

"BWAHAHAHAHAH!"

MIR, GIR, and Minimoose came in. They stared at them.

MIR shrugged. She started laughing, GIR and Minimoose following.

Amy finally gasped for air.

"Been a while since I've laughed like that!" She said.

Amy wiped her eyes. "Hey, do you have skool? Cause I wanna come."

Zim looked at her thoughtfully.

"PWEAAAAAAAAASE I can be your, I dunno, um..." Amy thought for a moment. "SICK COUSIN! Yeah, I'm your insane cousin that you have to watch for a while!" Amy said. She smiled brightly, her sharp teeth glinting. Teeth like that could HURT.

"Hmm...fine." Zim sighed.

"YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!" Amy cheered.

"But fake a note." Zim gave her paper. She looked at him, and at the paper.

She grinned.

Amy typed a note on her laptop, and printed it out. She scribbled a fake signature on it.

Amy held it up proudly.

Zim sighed, and took it.

"I'll be weird all day!" Amy promised.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Dib gaped at the short teenage girl that stood at the front of the room. She had a small backpack, loaded with books and a sketchpad and pencils. It was over her PAK.

She had a HUGE smiled on her face, and was twitching.

Dib ran up to her, making Zim start.

"Amy? WHAT DID HE DO?" He said.

Amy giggled slightly. "Dib, can it, I'm dieing of boredom at home. I'm ACTING!" She said out the corner of her mouth.

"Dib, sit down." Ms. Bitters said.

Dib sat down.

"Class, Zim's younger cousin will be joining us for a while. He has to watch her and she has problems." Ms. Bitter pressed a button, and a new seat appeared next to Zim's. "NOW SIT DOWN!"

"TOLEDO!" Amy burst out, scaring two kids in front of her.

She snickered, and Zim nudged her to the seats.

Amy sat down.

She was excited.

It took all her self-control to keep from screaming and going fangirl.

She was twitchy because of the EPICNESS of this all.

Amy took deep breaths, and calmed down.

She listened to Ms. Bitters DOOM's, and pulled out a sketchpad.

She started to draw. Amy's thoughts strayed, and her pencil moved on its own.

Using the Doom's as music, Amy plunged herself into daydream world. It mainly involved her with Zim or Ash, from pokemon.

"NOW!" Ms. Bitters shouted, and Amy was brought to reality.

"We will begin a new lesson. One day you all will die."

"YES! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!' Zim shouted. Amy tapped on his boot.

He looked down from on top the desk. She shook her head.

"Just...joking..." He said, and sat down.

"Everyone dies." Ms. Bitters started.

Amy looked at her picture.

She smiled. Amy had drawn a pretty good picture of Molly.

She flipped to a new page, and started to draw a random thing. She focused on the heavy hall pass, that was leaning against the wall.

RINGGG

She was jolted back into reality once more. Amy looked at her picture, and put her sketchbook back in her bag, and withdrew a thick book.

"Go to lunch!" Ms. Bitters shouted.

Amy jerked up.

"YES, SIR!" She shouted, and saluted.

Zim was surprised at her acting. He pushed her out of the room.

Amy looked at the lunch food.

"Uh oh. Beans." She pointed. Zim gulped.

Amy tried something.

She cleared her throat. "HEY FOOD-GEEKS, COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR A CHANGE!"

"WHO SAID THAT?" The lunch people said.

"He did." Amy pointed at a random kid.

He was chased out.

Amy smiled, and dumped all the food away without anyone noticing.

And blamed politics. The lunch people left to boycott voting.

Amy smiled happily as she sat at Zim's table.

It was silent.

"Wanna see my drawings of you?" She said.

Zim stared at her for a moment and nodded.

Amy got out her sketchbook and flipped through it. She stopped. "All of these."

She tossed it over, and opened up her book.

She was jerked back to Zim's shouting.

Amy looked up, and gasped.

Dib had her sketchbook.

Amy leapt for him and made a wild grab for it.

"GIVE THAT TO ME!"

Dib dodged her, JUST made it, and she hit the floor.

She moaned. She had landed RIGHT ON a misplaced shoe, and it had knocked her breath out.

Amy clutched her stomach, moaning.

It was worse then when she got socked in the stomach.

She pushed herself up.

Dib was staring at her.

"Are you okay?" He said.

Amy wheezed. "Oh...crap..." She stood up.

Amy picked up the nearest kid and threw them at Dib.

Dib fell back, the kid unharmed. Zim grabbed Amy's book.

Amy made her way to the table.

"Comic books are WAY off...ohh..." She groaned.

She recovered after two minutes.

Zim was flipping through her sketchbook.

Amy made a little smile.

"Ow..." Her stomach jabbing.

Zim looked up. "I thought you were indestructible."

"Heck no, I can still get hurt, and DIE." Amy said. "I'm just a good fighter." She finally was all better. "Well? My drawings?"

Zim cleared his throat. "Good. I guess. For a human."

"Author."

"Whatever."

Amy went back to her book.

IZIZIZIZIZ

"BEST SCHOOL EVER!" Amy cheered as they left.

"Sure..." Zim said. Amy looked at the sky. It was dark.

"Oh, no." She said. "RUN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET WET!"

Zim looked up.

His eyes widened.

Just as it started to rain.

Amy poofed up a huge umbrella just in time.

She held it over him.

Zim had his eyes closed, awaiting the pain.

"Yo, Zim?" Amy said. He opened them. And gaped.

"Lets get to the base, okay?" Amy said.

Zim nodded, and they ran to the base.

"THEY GOTZ HOME! THEY GOTZ HOME!" MIR and GIR screamed.

Amy laughed.

Suddenly, lightning flashed and thunder boomed outside.

Amy's eyes got huge. She screamed and leapt into the arms of the nearest living thing, and clutched it like it was her life.

Zim.

Zim stood uncomfortable, Amy holding on tight.

The Computer snickered.

More thunder and lightning.

Amy held on tighter.

She was sobbing.

"MAKE IT GO AWAY! WAA!"

"Zim, are you going to do anything?" Computer said.

Zim looked down at the sobbing Author.

"Uh...I don't think I can do anything..."

"MAKE IT GO AWAY!"

"What's wrong with her?" Zim said.

"Elementary, my dear Watson." MIR said. She suddenly had glasses. "Masta is astraphobic. She has a DEEP fear of thunder and lightning."

"Oh." Zim tried to push her off.

Amy scrabbled to a corner holding her teddy she had somehow gotten, hugging it and her knees and whimpering.

It kept on thunder-and-lightning storming.

"Wow...she looks like a human baby." Zim said.

"Give her a break, your scared of germs, she's scared of thunder and lightning." Computer said.

"ZIM FEARS NOTHING!"

"Meep!" Amy said. It meant nothing, just a meep.

"Squeak?" Minimoose said, worried.

"HELEN CAN MAKE IT GO AWAY!" Amy clutched her bear. (Its name now revealed to be Helen. A/N I really do have a bear, its special cause it belonged to my great grandma that I was named after. She died. And I love Helen. Nyah. Yes, I've got problems.)

Zim stared at her.

"Uh...it...can't hurt you?" Zim said.

"LIES! PEOPLE HAVE DIED! LIESSSSSSS!" Amy said.

MIR picked up Amy, with GIR's help, and took her to the lab. Zim followed.

There was no noise or light underground.

Amy instantly calmed down.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" She said. "Did I freak out?"

"YUP!" MIR said.

"Oh." Amy brushed herself off. "Sorry, that happens." She shrugged.

Zim let out air from his mouth.

"Guess I'll be down here until the storm passes." Amy sighed.

She sat down.

"I've had worse freak outs." Amy said. She shuddered. "Ug...tornado...school..."

IZIZIZIZIZ

Zim typed softly on his computer.

Amy was asleep on the floor, on her stomach. She would have a heck of an imprint on her face when she woke up.

MIR was asleep on her mistress's back, and GIR was sleeping on the floor.

Zim glanced over, and continued typing quietly. He stopped.

'What am I DOING?" He went to the room next to this one, and found he could not do anything he would be to loud.

Zim growled. "Why would I CARE?" And he had NO evil plan! NO. PLAN.

It had been almost a week since he had an evil plan! He had to do something!

But...what if the plans hurt-

Zim hissed. "Why would I care? She's only useful for a plan! Then I will dispose of her! ZIM CARES ABOUT NO ONE!"

"Zim, be careful, you don't want to hurt her in a pl-" Computer started.

"Silence! I don't care about anyone! Why should I? I CARE ABOUT NO ONE! ONLY DEFECTS HAVE FEELINGS!" Zim said the last part loudly.

"But you like her, don't you?"

"My squeedlyspootch was messed up! That never was real! She's just a pawn! A pawn in one of my amazing plans! I DON'T CARE!"

"But, Zim, can't you see that she-"

"DO NOT DEFY ZIM! She is like a HYOOMAN! I AM SUPREME! SHE is...NOTHING!"

"But-"

Zim turned away.

He furiously started to write a plan.

"Zim! She told me just a little while ago, she's worried, if her powers are taken away, she will DIE!" Computer said.

Zim paused.

"Good."

The Computer only had a shocked silence.

I'm scared...Zim don't like me... I really am Astraphobic. I really freak out like that. And the tornado...don't even ask about the tornado...REVIEW AND GET A COOKIE! (MIR's day off, sorry!)~ Commander Author Amy, SIGNING OFF!


	8. AMY IN DEEP DOO DOO

:3 Why did my brain hurt me? ITS MASTERRRRRRRRRR. I AM MASTER OF MY BRAIIIIIIIN. MUTINY! MUTINY I TELL YOU! AUUUUUUUUG. This chappy is a bit more...dramatic then funny. But really important. Cause otherwise I would just suddenly be hurt. Weird. So yeah. Nyah.

Friday morning was a drag.

It was still rain storming, but luckily no thunder and lightning.

Amy yawned, and got her bidness done. She came out with a gray t-shirt, and blue shorts.

"I really want to start showering at night again..." She said, and threw some toast in the toaster. Her face was sore from sleeping on the floor.

Zim came in. "WHAT ARE YO-"

"Toast."

"Oh."

"WEEE!" Gir suddenly flew in the room.

Amy stared.

"GIIIIIIR!" MIR shouted, chasing him on Minimoose. "I NEEDA HUGGLE YOU!"

"Looks like our security is top-notch..." Amy said.

"Yeah, we can hug our attackers." Computer said.

Amy sighed and waved her hand to signal the end of the conservation.

GIR and MIR ran in again, squealing. Amy covered her ears.

"I did not sleep to well. Because, ONE PERSON clanged around to much, and I kept on having this stinging sensation in my head." Amy groaned. "And lots and lots of drums."

She gave Zim a look. He ignored her and yelled at his minions. And Amy's. Amy grabbed the robots and moose and hugged them.

"You don't have to be so harsh, Zim!" Amy said.

"ZIM IS AMAZING!"

"You say that all the time." Amy said, raising an eyebrow. "Listen. Lets just get to skool after I eat, okay?"

"Fine." Zim looked annoyed.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy and Zim stared at the rain outside.

"Well, that sucks." Amy said.

"Author! Make a...car-thing!" Zim pointed at her.

"You could say please."

"AUTHOR!" Zim said, his tone sharp.

Amy sighed, and waved her hand.

A car appeared.

The same one from the day Amy picked Zim up when it snowed. Amy looked at the dirty, slushy snow. Eww.

Amy got in the drivers seat, not worried that a police may find her, a underage driver, in a car thats throwing shells at people.

Yay. She could beat his face off.

Amy waited for Zim.

Suddenly, MIR ran out of the house flailing her arms around. She jumped into the car and made contact with Amy's head.

Amy woke up to MIR drooling on her hair, a minute later.

"ME WANNA STAY WITH MASTA!"

"EW!" She said, and swiped at her hair. Amy did not care about looks, but...EWW.

"We have to get going." Zim said. He did not seem to care that she just got conked on the head.

Amy growled and stomped on the gas. "MIR, I'll let you hide in my backpack. BE GOOD." She said.

"Yay!"

IZIZIZIZ

"ARG!" Milly shouted. Her attempt to send Amy a message in her dream failed, she was so weak.

Milly held her head. She looked at Jacob.

She got an idea.

Milly pushed him, and used her power to wake him.

"HUH?" Jacob stood up. "Oh...Milly...I had a strange dream-"

"NO TIME! ITS TRUE! RYE IS GOING TO KILL AMY! WE HAFTA SAVE HER!"

Jacob's eyes widened.

"Stand back." He said, and stared at the authors lock.

Milly glanced at Molly, and they stepped back.

Jacob seemed to be concentrating. Lego's flew from the playroom, making Milly duck and Molly yelp and lie down.

They formed into a giant gun. Jacob grasped it, and shot it into the portal.

A BOOM echoed from it.

The Lock was gone.

Milly tried to go in.

"Aug...Its not working!" She shouted.

"Milly...can you transport us there...?" Jacob said.

IZIZIZIZ

Amy parked the car, sighing.

"Zim! I get it! You're great and junk! My heads ringing from your endless talking!" Amy groaned.

"I AM ZIM!" Zim said.

Amy growled, and shoved the keys in her pocket. She poofed an umbrella up, covering her and Zim.

She was silent as they walked into the skool.

Ms. Bitters continued with her death lesson.

Amy tried to draw, but Zim kept on shouting things to Ms. Bitters.

Finally, the lunch bell rang. Amy peeked in her bag.

"Good job, MIR." She said. "You were quiet."

MIR gave her a thumbs-up.

Amy and Zim stared at the food choices.

"Author, do what you did, AGAIN!" He commanded.

"Zim! For crying out loud, I'm not your slave! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" Amy said.

"Invaders need no friends."

"You were just fine yesterday!"

"I was...NOT OKAY!" Zim said back, his voice steely. "And you are just at Skool for your own amusement! I HAVE A PLAN TO USE ALL YOUR POWER! YOU ARE ONLY USEFUL FOR THAT!"

No kids noticed or paid attention to the entire thing.

"You...you..." Amy said.

"SILENCE, AND JUST GO BACK TO THE BASE, AND AWAIT YOUR DOOM, PITIFUL WEAKLING!" Zim shouted.

"..." Amy felt like someone had stabbed her chest.

Her eyes filled with tears.

"All you care about...is my power?" She stammered.

"THATS THE WHOLE THING! STUPID AUTHOR!"

Amy had been through this. Fake friends that wanted her things, not her.

But. She had done so much...to show she...

Amy's hands shook. She whirled around, and ran out the door.

Her fists were balls, her body tense.

"Who does he think he is?" She growled. In the pouring rain.

A single tear fell from her eye.

"Zim's an idiot. Milly's right, Dib's better. Zim is uncaring, unthankful, rude, and NOT MY FRIEND!" She punched a tree, causing it to fall over. Amy wiped her eyes.

Suddenly, she saw a dark shape.

Amy switched to attack mode.

But...THWACK! 

MIR crawled out of the dropped backpack. It started to fade, going back to the real world, its owner gone.

MIR gulped.

"MASTA!" She shouted desperately. Rain feel on the small robot. She covered her eyes.

"MIR?" GIR said. He had tracked her, after realizing she had left. He got lost. Then found her.

She turned. "GIR! RYE...he...he...he..." She shook. "MASTA!"

Zim ran up, panting.

"Skool...let out early...rain..." He had a stolen umbrella. The Skool had released the kids right after lunch, because of the rain.

He stared at the robots.

"Weres the Author?"

MIR whirled to face him. "RYE'S GOT HER, ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE SUCH A JERK! She hates it when people use her for her things! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THAT HAS HAPPENED?" She shouted, her eyes filled with anger. "She REALLY cares about you, and you go and hurt her! HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF? RYE! IS! GONNA! KILL! HER!"

MIR turned to GIR, and buried her face in her hands.

Minimoose flew up.

Suddenly, a hologram of some sort appeared.

"SHUT UP, I'M TRYING!" A female said. She looked like Amy. She was turned to the side.

"Mistress?" MIR said. Amy was Masta, Milly was Mistress. Heh.

"MIR, its you!" Milly said.

"Who are YOU?" Zim said.

"I'm Amy's twin sister, THANKYOUVERYMUCH!" Milly shouted. A boy appeared.

"I'm her brother, Jacob." He said.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Dib ran into the group. He knocked into Zim, knocking his disguise off.

"AMY! IS! GONNA! BE! HURT! GET! YOUR! BUTTS! TO! RYE'S! HOUSE!" Milly shouted.

"WHAT?" Dib said.

Milly quickly explained.

Jacob chewed his fingernails.

"We are just barely here, Rye put a strong authors lock on the portal." Milly said. "Even if its gone, it won't let us in!"

"Were is she?" A new voice said.

GIR held up a radio.

"What...?" Milly said.

"Its the Computer." The Radio said.

"Computer! WHAT! HUH?" Zim sputtered.

"Zim, we happen to LIKE Amy, unlike you!" Computer said. "Were is her location?"

Milly told him. The SIR's, Minimoose, Milly and Jacob, and Dib, all ran.

Zim was alone.

He looked at the spot were Amy had been.

A few stray papers were lying on the ground. He picked up one that had somehow managed to stay dry.

It had his name it, and a short poem Amy had written one day when she was alone. She's not a very good poem writer, but she still does it. (A/N Man, my poems are awful...and corny...and true. I really wrote this. Grr...my mind hates me to make me post this...but...I can't think of anything else to put...)

It read:

Invader Zim.

Truly, I have only felt feelings for one pokemon trainer.

Until the day I found something about an Invader.

I was hooked, line, and sinker.

I feel strange around Ash Ketchum, but now I feel floaty and lighter then air.

To tell the truth, I'm still a minor.

That has deep feelings for the earths soon to be ruler.

I wish to be friends, to show him I care.

But how can I get through to his core?

He is pure evil, I am halfway full, I like to fry ants with a magnifier.

But is it enough to show him I will do most anything-er,

To keep him from the pain-er?

(Told you it was bad.)

Zim's hand shook.

He dropped it.

Everything fell into to place.

Her cheerful attitude, the blush, the glompings. She had risked herself to help him.

Zim was overcome with guilt. Something he has never felt before.

Amy had truly cared for him, and tried her hardest to show him she wanted to be equals.

And he had hurt her.

Zim got out his PAK legs, and started to run to the location.

IZIZIZIZ

Amy rubbed her aching head. Another bat of doom.

She was going to hurt Rye so bad.

Amy sat up, and stared at the dark gray room. Its walls seemed to mock her. There were no doors.

Amy felt around, not finding anything. She crossed her arms, and plopped back down.

No matter. She would just wait fro Rye to show his ugly face. She wanted to bite it off.

"Yo, weres the guy named after bread?" She called.

Nothing.

Amy growled.

She tapped her foot.

Fully annoyed, she kicked the wall.

She was upset, wet, and in a bad mood. Her powers were weaker.

Finally, Rye seemed to materialize.

"Were am I, how do I get out, and LET ME BEAT YOU UP NOW!" Amy held her fist up.

Rye started to laugh. His evil laugh was, quite frankly, terrifying.

"Oh, my dear author, you are much mistaken." He said.

"What?" Amy said, a bit weirded out.

"You will be the one losing. And I will be the one ruling this universe." Rye said.

"Yeah, right!" Amy sneered. "I can beat you anytime!"

"Are you sure? Your friends aren't here to help. And, need I remind you, your pitiful Irken hates you."

Amy shook. "DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!"

Her vision blurred. Rye struck out, and grabbed her wrists. The tall Irken pulled her to a wall, and stood right in front of her.

Amy struggled for him to release her wrists. Rye was STRONG.

Amy glared defiantly at Rye.

He stood in front of the struggling teenager.

"He's not going to come." Rye said. "Your precious little Irken just doesn't care. All he wants is to please the Tallest. Oh, yes, the two beings you despise with every fiber of your being?"

Amy did not talk, but her eyes showed the pain she felt inside. Rye's words were getting to her.

Rye bent down so they were face to face.

"He never cared. Your family does not believe you about your powers. They are to busy with their life, and praising your other siblings. They never read your stories, or praise you for your school work. You leave into stories to find friends, but it just does not work out. You think you are strong? You are just a STUPID. LITTLE. GIRL."

He shoved her into a wall, hard. Hard enough to break the wall.

Rye's words had made her powers weaken. Amy glared at him, getting up shakily from the dust.

"Tha-thats not true! They, they praise me! They care!" She said.

Rye pinned her against a wall before she could react.

His hands, covered by gloves, were like iron, his jagged cape like a long shadow that followed him everywhere.

"You say that. But is it true?"

"B-but Milly-"

"She's your other half. Of course she reads them. But no one else does. Your brother has never told you he cared. He only plays games. Your grades are high, but he is praised only. Math is so important. No one looks at your amazing reading, writing, and science skills."

Amy felt herself start to weaken, her ego getting weaker. Her fiery spirit to.

"Your friends only care about your stuff."

"Thats not true!"

"Oh? Look at that Irken. He only wants your powers. What about in fourth grade, that girl? She only wanted to copy your answers. And in fifth? What about all the years after that? What about LAST year? No friends were real. Only wanted your grades, or your things. No one cares, Author."

Amy kicked Rye and he let go.

"Lies! I have real friends!" Her eyes blazed, but also glistened with tears.

"What. About. Jack." Rye said.

Amy completely froze up.

"Don't mention Jack." She hissed. She tried to summon a gun. Amy glanced around.

"Any moment now..." She said.

Nothing.

"AHH!" Amy cried. "MY POWER!" She tried to punch the wall, but only hurt her hand. She would usually break a hole.

She desperately tried to make things appear.

Amy wrote words in the air, on the ground, on the wall.

"What have you DONE?" She shrieked at Rye.

"I have reduced your once-flaming ego to a tiny coal." Rye said evilly. "You are powerless."

Amy held her head. Ideas started to bounce around. Ideas that would be stuck in there. She cried out, as the pulsing headache started. Without her Author power as an outlet, they would just bounce around. Until she went insane.

Amy assumed the fetal position, her head pounding.

Rye laughed evilly.

"Part one of my plan, done." He smiled. "Part two, kill the Author. Part three, drain power from dieing author and RULE."

Amy whimpered as her head pounded like it did before she found her powers. It did not happen all the time, it happened often though.

Rye advanced. Amy jerked up, and pressed against the wall, her senses filled with fear. She hurriedly looked from left to right, and ducked as Rye leapt.

"Were is Zim?" Amy said, dodging.

"Oh, he's not coming, remember, Author?" Rye said. "He hates you. Everyone does. So don't get any ideas. Can't you get it through? He never cared. Your just a pawn. A part of his plan. He does nto care if you die."

Amy was so shocked, she did not move.

(**WARNING! BLOOD! BE CAREFUL! I'm going to try and get the details across without being to graphic. If you watch cop shows, this should not be to bad.)**

Rye lashed out with a knife.

Amy fell forward, a long gash across her lower stomach.

She felt blood seep into her clothes.

She scrambled away from Rye, and she felt a searing pain from the cut.

Thoughts flashed.

"I'm all alone. All alone." She thought.

She tried to dodge Rye.

He had his foot on her chest. Rye let out an evil laugh, and stabbed the knife.

Amy felt incredible pain burst in her left shoulder.

She shrieked, the pain continued to explode.

Rye picked up the bloody knife.

"When your precious friends come, I'll kill them to." He said.

He wrote with Amy's blood: FROM RYE.

"I'll go and get my device." He stood up. Rye looked at her, smirked, and yanked her PAK off, and threw it to the ground. It broke into pieces.

Suddenly, a dark shape attacked Rye.

"Molly!" Amy cried out. "NO! You'll be hurt!"

Molly looked at her mistress, whimpered for her, and growled fiercely at Rye.

The large black dog bit him.

Rye and Molly started to fight.

Rye pushed Molly off, and she disappeared before he could shoot her. He growled and left the room.

Amy felt her blood draining. Like milk from a bottle.

She groaned and spit out blood. Blood dribbled from her mouth.

Amy's eyes were wet. She felt tears running down.

She laid in a puddle of her own blood, seeping from her stabbed shoulder.

She wrote out: YOU NEVER CARED. NOW I'M DIEING AND YOU DON'T CARE. Pain...

Amy let her head fall.

Her vision started to fade.

IZIZIZIZ

"There!" Milly pointed. Everyone tried to open the doors of the house.

"STAND BACK!" MIR exploded, and a huge hole was blown in the wall. MIR reassembled.

Everyone charged in.

"Meep!" (Amy?) Minimoose said.

"Were is she?" Computer said.

"I…don't know!" Milly said.

"If this Rye gets her…" Dib groaned.

"MOVE OVER!" Zim shouted. Everyone turned.

"ZIM?" Computer said. "Oh, you just want her for your stupid plans!"

Zim looked down.

Dib stared at his enemy. He seemed….sad.

They all heard a shriek pierce the air.

Everyone madly ran around.

Suddenly, Rye appeared.

Milly hissed.

"WERES MY SISTER?" She shouted.

"Oh. Its the ginger."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Milly started to fade. So did Jacob.

"AHH! MY POWERS NOT STRONG ENOUGH!" Milly cried out.

Jacob pointed at a door. "There's a teleporter room! Go there!" He said, and they disappeared.

"Squeak!" Minimoose said. (I'LL USE MY NUBS OF DOOM!)

Rye disappeared before Minimoose could beat his face in.

Dib opened the door, and everyone ran in.

They all used a teleporter, GIR and MIR sharing one with the radio.

Zim, MIR, GIR, and the radio all appeared in front of a door. Zim pushed on it.

Light flooded in a dark gray room.

MIR gasped at blood on the floor.

Zim ran over to a dark corner, getting on his knees.

"Oh…MY CIRCUTS!" MIR cried out, and sobbed. She grabbed GIR, and he held her, tears in his eyes.

"Oh…no…." Computer said.

Zim looked at the RYE WAS HERE.

He saw Amy's words.

"Author! Wake up!" He shook her.

"Never…cared..." She moaned. Her voice faltered.

Her voice was quiet and trembling.

"WHAT DID HE DO TO MASTA?" MIR cried.

Dib and Minimoose appeared.

"MEEP!" No translation needed.

"AMY!" Dib cried out. Even if she was a bit slap-happy, he had grown to like her.

Zim put his hand on her chest. He could feel a slight heartbeat.

"Her hearts going…" He said.

"Oh, sure, Zim, like you care!" Dib said. "I saw the whole thing at skool!"

Zim looked back at the blood.

He took in Amy's body.

"Amy…I'm sorry!" He spoke the words Zim thought he would never say.

Something in Amy's soul clicked.

She painfully opened her eyes, still full of tears.

She just saw an incredibly worried Zim.

One thought in her mind. "He….came…"

A slight red blush flashed across her face.

She grabbed his hand gently, and let her eyes close.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

Everything was black. Amy could walk. She stared at the tunnel around her.

A shining light.

"NO!" Amy said.

It called her.

Music played.

"BE QUIET, TEMPTING HAPPY MUSIC!" Amy shouted. "I DON'T WANNA WEAR DRESS AND HAVE WING-no….that would be cool to have wings….BUT NO DRESS!"

She tried to resist the pull.

"SHUT! UP! HAPPY! MUSIC!"

IZIZIZIZIZ

Zim felt the heartbeat stop.

He stood up.

"STINKING PIG-IRKEN! DISGRACE! TO! IRKENS!" He shouted.

Dib felt Amy's pulse. "Shes…."

"WAAAAA!" MIR sobbed.

"NOOOOOOO!" GIR said.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

Dib looked at the robots. He opened there heads.

"CLEAR!" He shouted. Dib rubbed then together, then laid them on her body, hoping to shock her alive.

"Oh, look, still trying?" A familiar harsh voice laughed.

"YOU!" Zim shouted.

"Thankfully, I can still get power from a dead author." Rye sneered. "Looks like your girlfriend is gone." He said. "Oh, wait. You had a little spat. I think you may have CAUSED THIS ALL."

"LIES!" Zim said.

"Oh, sure, Zim. You caused her death. And you know it." Rye said.

"Not…EXATCLY!" Two voice said.

Everyone looked up, just as Milly tackled Rye.

They were real. IN. THE. FLESH.

"MY SISTER! NO! YOUUUUUU!" Milly shouted, while beating on Rye.

Jacob took the robots from Dib, and somehow Lego's appeared. They became a huge electric machine.

A large black dog appeared, and also attacked Rye.

"CLEAR!" Jacob shouted, and a tremendous amount of electricity jolted through his sister.

Just enough.

Jacob put his head on her chest.

"I can hear it…YES!" Jacob said.

Milly was viciously tearing Rye apart, and Molly was ripping him to shreds.

Literally.

Rye shouted.

"AUG! NOT THE CEMENTARY! NOOO!"

There was nothing but paper under his skin.

Molly chewed it all up.

Soon, the three started to fade.

"Power…" Milly said, just before passing out.

Molly gave a small nod to Zim, and disappeared.

"Zim, I can't believe I'm saying this, but help me!" Dib said.

He pressed on Amy's shoulder, stopping the bleeding.

"Use the teleporter!" Computer said. A teleporter appeared.

Everyone was back at the base.

Zim pulled out every known Irken medical equipment he had.

Molly appeared, holding a bandage. Dib took it, and stared at her as she sat down, and started disappearing and reappearing with supplies.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Five long hours later….

Dib and Zim were slumped on the floor, MIR and GIR leaning against Minimoose. Molly was laying with her head in her paws.

They all heard it. A creak.

Slow breathing.

"AMY?" Zim shouted, and stood up.

She opened her eyes.

Amy sat up, slowly.

She stared at everyone.

Her eyes were blank and glassy.

"I don't think she's okay…she may have been traumatized…" Dib said.

Amy looked down, and the many bandages on her shoulder, she had broken the bone when it was stabbed. Her left arm was in a sling. A bandage was around her waist. Molly had changed her clothes, into fresh sweatpants and a tank top over a huge blood-drive t-shirt with a hole cut out for her left shoulder, by using her own powers.

Her cut had already healed, again, Molly.

She looked up.

"Yo, first time you call me by my real name?" She said, and a smiled spread across her face.

"MASTAAAAAAAAAA!" MIR screamed, and practically tackled her mistress.

Amy smiled and rubbed the happy robot.

Course, she was flooded with people shouting.

"Woof! Woof!" Molly barked, and licked her. (Oh, thank dog!)

"Hey, Dib, thanks." Amy said.

Dib turned red, possibly this was his first compliment from a female other then Gretchen.

"Don't you have to get home?" Amy said.

Dib looked at a clock.

"Oh, NO!"

Amy shook her head, and Dib materialized from the room.

He reappeared outside his house.

Amy smiled a sharp-toothed grin at Zim.

"Hey, you and me, friends?" She said, her speech a bit off, from the cotton in her mouth. She realized this, and spit it out.

She extended a hand to Zim.

He looked at her.

He took her hand.

Amy's face turned a few shades of pink, then red, and pink.

She smiled.

"Pudding."

Silence. Nothing moved.

"BWAHHAHAHAHA!"

"Woof! Woof! WOOOF!" Molly laughed.

"Molly!" Amy said. She hugged her dog with her good hand. "Good girl!"

She looked up.

"Believe or not, I saw everything. Don't ask how, I just do." She said. Amy was MIR on her head, GIR on her good shoulder, and Minimoose flying around.

Amy realized something. She turned around.

"New PAK?"

Zim gave a small nod.

"Oh, man, I thought you were gone!" Computer said.

"Yeah, not the first time I've had a near death experience…" Amy said, remembering the happy music. "Oh, no, in stories I have almost died. Well….not like now, I died!" She laughed.

She stared at her arm.

"Well, that sucks. What am I going to tell my parents? Its almost time to get up…" She groaned.

Zim looked down. Amy looked at him.

"You have to leave...?" Zim said.

"Yeah…" Amy said sadly.

"C-could you still come back?"

"I guess…but only if you keep up your evilness!" Amy smiled. "Don't die on me, Zim!"

He looked up.

She smiled brightly.

"I'm not gonna let jerks get me down, like Rye did, ever again." She said. "I've learned something. Going into portals teach people things. I care about all the Zim's I have ever met. But, you do know, you're the real one. I'm gonna trust in myself, knowing that people do care. I'm going to prove to my parents I am an Epic author, get them to read my stories, and gloat about my grades!" She smiled.

Amy scratched Molly behind the ear. "I have friends. True friends. Even if two are humans, and lots of them are OC's, some are Pokemon characters, a few are friends from FanFiction, and lots are characters from shows, and more."

Amy flashed her sharp toothy grin. "Frankly, being an Epic Author has helped me find friends. But, really, I just be myself, that's what does it. Wow, this is cheesy. Sounds like those awful sitcoms about bands and junk. Anyway, yeah. Rye was a crap donut with extra sprinkles. Now I want a donut. Nyah. Well, yes."

Amy stood up. "I better go back home."

"WAA!" GIR cried. "IMMA MISS YOU AMYS!" He said. "AND MIIR! WHYYYYY!" He hugged them.

"Meep! Meep!" (Me to!)

"Tell Dib I said bye." Amy took a picture of Zim. She flipped it in her book. "Sign this." She said. Happily.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Amy rubbed her eyes, as the portal disappeared. An injury like hers would take about a mouth to heal.

She looked at her sleeping siblings, Milly drooling on a pillow.

Amy looked over at Molly.

She walked over, and put MIR back in her hiding place.

MIR waved, and fell asleep.

Amy felt her back, and took off the PAK. She transferred her things in her fake PAK to the real one.

Amy slipped the real PAK in the fake one and hung it up.

She sat on her bed, looking at the time.

5:00.

She had been in Invader Zim for Five days. See how time passes? Well….actually it did that because she was 'dead'.

She pet her dog as she walked back to the living room.

"Miss them?" Molly woofed. Amy could understand her, sort of like how Ash can understand Pikachu. If you don't get that, like…how a girl understands her loved dog. Heh.

"Yeah." Amy said.

She carried her brother and sister to their rooms. With one hand. Yup. It was harder then she made it look.

Amy sat on the sofa.

Molly looked at her.

"How'd you get there, anyway?" Amy said.

"Um…"

"Oh…yeah." Amy said. "You told be, you were from that underground organization to destroy all cats." Amy laughed. "Forgot about that."

"Yeah. And how I was mutated there, and can now go into portals."

Amy smiled. "Nah, you can teleport. Sometimes."

Molly nodded. "I could DESTROY those cats if I could use it all the time…."

Amy nodded, staring at a CD case in her hand. The Operation doom CD.

Molly licked her leg.

Amy sighed. "Rye….I hope he never comes back…" She said.

"We can never know…." Molly said.

Amy nodded.

She put the CD in the TV, and watched for 30 minutes.

She poked her head in her parents room.

"Mom? Daddy?" She said.

"Urg…Amy!" Her mother groaned.

"Mom….you know how I say I'm an epic author?"

"I don't have time for yore games…."

"Look."

Her mom groaned and looked at Amy.

"What happened? Another injury? Don't claim you went into a portal-"

"Mom." Amy said.

She waved her hand. A waffle appeared.

"What-"

Amy made more things appear. A toaster. A monkey. A cow. (She poofed them away after a minute.)

"What is that? Is this a trick?" Her mother said, flustered.

"I told you." Amy said.

Amy's Mom stood up.

"Amy…"

Amy held up a hand.

She wrote in the air: TORCHWOOD. (My mom loves Torchwood.)

A portal opened up.

Her mother gaped.

It showed an episode playing.

Amy watched her mother.

Finally, she closed it.

"AMY!" Her mother said.

"Yes?"

"You were right." Her mother sighed, then laughed. "I guess I kind of knew it, you hate to lie."

Amy smiled and nodded.

"Just convince daddy."

"Alright, honey, just let me sleep."

Amy nodded. She left the room.

Amy sat on the floor, and suddenly things turned black.

(She fell asleep)

(Amy's POV. Its really weird, I don't show it to much. Hehe.)

I woke up, lying on the floor. The rug was imprinted on my face.

Ow, ow, OW! OW TO THE MAX! WAHGW! MFER! NWNNWNAH!

I rubbed my face. I hope that carpet does not get any birthday presents….oh….my birthdays in a few mouths….

WOAH getting off topic, brain.

I swear, I had the most amazing dream! Like that dream with that creepy story guy, Rye!"

I want to kick his face in…

I stood up, and saw a bunch on bandages on my left shoulder. My arm was in a sling.

OH CRAP! HOW WILL I TYPE?

I love to write stories….and I dream about being this author thing….and epic author! ITS SO EPIC!

I like the word epic.

It's a fun word.

And its-

WOAH off topic.

I stared at my arm. I dreamt about that….

I gasped, and I ran to my room.

I searched through my junk, and found a book.

It had pictures. And signatures from the characters of Invader Zim.

I looked at my cameras. These pictures….

OHH SHINY! CAMERA SHIN-

Bad brain.

I put it down. What…?

I ran back to the living room, waking up Molly.

"Woof?" She said. She seemed to be telling me Whats up?

"UAG!" I cried out.

"Amy…" Jacob walked in, groaning. "Wait…AMY!" He hugged me.

AWKWARDDDDDD.

Seriously, someone here has to be doing an awkward turtle. I mean, come on.

"Whats all the noise-AMY!" Milly hugged me.

"What…?" I said. "WHATS GOING ON!"

NYAH! PEOPLE! HUGGING! NOT RIGHT!

"Oh, great, she forgot. AGAIN." Milly groaned. "Hey, Molly, do a stink bomb."

"Woof."

The worst smell hit my nose. I gasped.

Then….LIGHTBULB!

"OH! Did I forget AGIIIIIIN?" I laughed. I do that sometimes, I completely forget about my epic author-ness overnight.

CAUSE THATS HOW I ROLL.

"I'VE GOT POWERS! I'VE GOT POWERS!" Jacob cheered.

"Shut uppppp its six in the morning!" Milly moaned.

"Then go to bed." I said.

Milly laughed and nodded. She walked out.

I looked at my sling.

"Guess I'll have to be careful in soccer…" I said.

I like soccer…soccer is fun…..yay. Did I tell you I was goalie? Its fun, once –

BRAIN.

I sighed and looked at the TV, as Jacob went to go play his stupid computer game.

"I'll be back…" I said.

**Wow. I died. That's something to brag about.** **Heh. I said this would be short…but…NYAH I LOVE THIS STORY! So, I'll be updating it with my own ideas! Not dreams! They will more of My POV's, and yes, DUH I go back! Crap...my poem was so awful...I don't care if you hate it, flame all you want about the poem! Heh, I love this so much! Yikes….that shoulder is gonna get in the way… Anywho, expect more bad guys, more sort-of-romance with me and Zim, (No kissing. Eww.), more secrets to be revealed, more Molly, and MORE EPICNESS! Heck, I'll even bring Zim to the real world! So, yup! EVERYONE, STAY TUNED, MY FANS! HUGS FOR EVERYONE! PLEASE REVIEW! NO FLAMES. Please. Just. Please. BUT YOU CAN FLAME MY AWFUL POEM. HUUUUUUUUUGS. ~ Commander Author Amy, SIGNING OFF!**

…**.MOO.**


	9. Amy goes alien part one

Amy poked her finger on the computer, basically stabbing keys with her good hand. She threw her hand up in defeat and slumped.

"Grr…." She growled. "Stupid arm."

It was about 11:00 at night. Everyone was asleep. Almost.

Amy sighed and pushed away from her computer.

"Aug….I could not sleep….now I can't write?" She growled.

It had been a long week, Amy had shouted at a kid to QUIT ASKING ABOUT MY ARM!

Arg…she had told them ALL the same thing at the beginning of class:

I BROKE IT PLAYING OUTSIDE.

The kids need to listen.

A knocking on her wall made her jump.

"Masta?"

Amy pressed a button, and a door opened up. MIR came out.

"Hey, MIR." Amy said.

"Why don't yous visit our friends?" MIR said.

Amy stared at her. It had been a week since she got back.

Amy slowly smiled, and poofed on a white t-shirt and blue sweatpants. And her PAK.

She got on her knees, and slowly wrote out INVADER ZIM on the floor.

The portal appeared, this time it was yellow.

Molly scratched on Amy's door. Amy opened it.

Molly cocked her head to the side and looked at the portal.

"Okay, you can come." Amy said.

Amy picked up MIR, took a deep breath, and jumped in. Molly was right behind her.

Lights flashed. She fell into a pile of snow.

Amy crawled out, sputtering.

A group of people were staring at her.

Wait...

"THATS THE ONE THAT MADE US LOSE OUR MONEY!" A man shouted.

"The...ALIEN FREAKS!" Amy said. "What money?"

"I don't know, we just recognize you." The man said. They started to circle her.

Molly growled threateningly.

(Amy's POV)

Crap, Crap, Crap squared, Crap nuggets, and CRUD!

They did NOT look happy.

The people looked like I just killed their puppy! Okay, yes, I would MURDER anyone who kills ANY puppy, but anyway.

"Stay back!" I said. I could still fight, and have author powers, but I'm worried they will try to use my power, and MIR was in my other arm.

I tried to reach my PAK, but I remembered. NO SUGER HIGH CANDIES!

Crud pies.

"Ah…hehe…MOLLY!" I said.

She raised the fur on her back, and jumped in front of me growling.

I love dogs. They are so trustworthy, they love you, you can pet them and they stink…

Cats hiss and bite…they can't really protect you like a dog…doggies are epic!

I only like cats I know, or get to know carefully-

WHAT AM I THINKING?

The group started to back away.

"LOOK, AN ALIEN!" A familiar voice shouted.

They turned, and I ran.

I sat down on a park bench and sighed with relief.

"I was worried there…I could have exposed myself…" I said.

"Woof!" Molly said,

"AMY!" The voice said. I turned.

OHHHH YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! OH SHIN-

I embraced the excited boy. MIR was on my head.

"Hey, Dib!" I said.

"YOU CAME BACK!" He said.

I noodgied him playfully.

"Course I did."

"Zim said you left, then he grumbled something about you saying bye to me." Dib said.

"Ahh, I told him to tell you I said bye." I said. "How long has it been since I left?"

"About two weeks."

"Hmm, a week for me at home." I said thoughtfully.

My brain worked out something. That I instantly forgot.

"What grade are you in?" I said.

"Well, we just sort of moved up last week…You know, skool….being skool…." Dib said.

"So, fifth grade now?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Ahh, I loved my Fifth grade teacher, fifth grade was fun…" I said. "Wait…what time is it?"

Dib shrugged. "Um…It's a Friday, so about…4:00."

"Man, times different, its 11:00 at night my time." I said.

"Woof!" Molly said, not wanting to be forgotten.

"Its that dog…" Dib said.

"She's Molly." I said. "She won't bite unless you threaten me or my family."

Molly sniffed Dib suspiciously at first, then sat down and nudged Dib's hand with her head, her way of saying PET ME, I APPROVE OF YOU.

"Well, good seeing you again. I might be here for a while, depends." I said.

Dib waved a bit.

"Even if we are friends that does not mean I won't use the pan if you annoy me."

He laughed and nodded.

I figured out the way to Zim's house.

Ohh…cartoon snow…OH PERSON!

I like cartoons…they are so cool...people look too serious in real life….like boring old reality TV shows…I LOVES ME SOME COP SHOWS.

Ohh…NCIS…I wanna smack someone on the back of the head….

Moo.

I like cows.

I finally found the house.

(No ones POV)

Amy stared at the house.

"MIR, why so quiet?" She asked.

"The suspense...must make this dramatic…" She said.

Amy made her way through the gnome yard.

Inside….

Non-disguised GIR lazily sucked a soda, Zim was out. Minimoose was next to him.

The doorbell rang.

GIR got up, and walked over, forgetting his disguise.

Computer was playing online solitaire, so it was busy.

GIR pushed it open, then sat back down.

As soon as it closed, he looked up.

And had a full out FREAK out.

"WEEEEEEE!" HE shouted.

"GIR! Be-" Computer started.

"SQUEAAAAAK!" Minimoose said.

"Yo, whats up?" Amy smiled happily.

MIR was silent.

"MIRLIE!" GIR shouted.

She then jumped down, and started her freak out to.

Minimoose flew around Amy.

"Your back!" Computer said.

"Dur, I said I would!" Amy laughed.

She was tackled by two happy minions.

Amy broke her fall with her one good hand, and laughed.

"Come on, its not like I'm famous!" She said.

"You do not know how BORING its been!" Computer said.

"It was as boring as it was before I came?"

"EXACTLY!"

"Wait'll Zim sees you!" Computer said. "He'll freak."

"I bet-"

The door opened that exact moment.

In a millisecond Zim was on the floor, another one of Amy's glomps.

He was so surprised, she had knocked his disguise off, and well….you would be startled too!

She sat on the floor.

"Yo, Zim!" She smiled winningly.

It took him a moment to register.

"AMY?"

"In the flesh!" She said. "Uh…you know, that is a really gross explanation when you think about it…"

IZIZIZIZIZ

After things calmed down…

"So, what have you been doing?" Amy asked.

They were down in the lab, Amy was stretched out on the floor, Molly beside her.

"Eh, trying to rule Earth…"

"Failing?"

"Yeah…BUT ZIM WILL PREVAIL!" Zim shouted.

Amy laughed. "Good luck with that."

Suddenly GIR ran in. He dumped glitter on himself. "I BE A VAMPIRE!"

Amy groaned. "Oh, please, no."

"WEEEEEEEE!' GIR ran out.

Amy groaned again. "Not more Twilight…"

"What?"

"Don't ask."

Amy looked up. "So, what's been happening? Lose your PAK?"

"Yes, actually."

"WAIT WHAT?"

Turns out, Zim had gone through all the unfinished episodes. Well, at least the one that already had voices.

"Hmm…Interesting…" Amy said. "Why do I want to bite something?"

"OHH! I have a new evil machine!" Zim said.

"Lets see it."

He pushed a large machine into view. Amy poked her head inside.

"It will DESTROY the humans DIRT! SO THEY CANNOT LIIIIIVE!" Zim said.

Amy poked it.

"Have you tested it?"

"I WILL NOW! Here. Hold this." He shoved a bucket full of dirt to Amy. She took it. "Dump it in there."

She poured it into the hole, and shook it. Molly was next to her.

The machine exploded.

Zim started to panic, it was already on.

Smoke blinded him.

He rubbed his large ruby colored orbs.

He gaped at what he saw.

A REALLY ticked off Amy glared at him. And yes. She was capital p PO'd.

But. She had green skin. Red eyes. Curly butterfly-like long antenna. A red uniform with pink sleeves. Skinny arms and legs. Sharp pink teeth. No ears, nose, or skin problems. A sling.

"ZIIIIIIIM!" Amy shouted. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" She stared at her gloved hand.

Three fingers.

Three STINKING fingers.

"AHHHHHH!" She screamed. Amy almost NEVER screams. But when she does, its loud.

She stomped to Zim, they were now the same height. "I'M IRKEN!" She shouted. She started to glow, and it suddenly fizzed out like you spit on a match.

"Uhh…" Zim gulped.

"Hey Zim- WOAAAAH." Computer said.

"CHANGE ME BACK!" Amy said.

"Oh…." Computer said.

"DOCTOR GREEN HERE TURNED ME INTO A IRKEN!" Amy said.

She started spazzing.

"WAAAAA!" Amy shrieked.

Molly and MIR ran in.

"MASTA?" MIR shouted.

"WOOOF!" (HOLY BONES!)

Molly turned to Zim, growling.

"Just fix me!" Amy said.

"I-I can't!" Zim said, after examination. "This was sabotage!"

Molly relaxed, and whined.

"Don't worry…" Amy said. "We will find who did this…" She rubbed her shoulder.

It exploded again.

Amy groaned and rubbed her eyes.

She heard a metallic thump.

"HOLY MONKEY TURDS!" She shouted.

A SIR unit, a real SIR unit, not like GIR or MIR, stood in front of her.

It looked at her with concern.

And cocked it's head to the side.

It gave a whine.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DOG?" Amy shouted.

She grabbed the red-eyed SIR unit.

"MOLLY!" Amy said.

"Mistress Amy! Woof! Why are you so big…" The SIR unit looked down. "HOLLLLLY FURRR!"

"WEE DA DOGGY LIKE MEH!" MIR said, jumping around.

Amy looked around.

"Invader FREAKING Zim! WERE ARE YOU? FIX US!"

"Woof! WOOF!" Molly said. I'm not gonna translate that. Nuh uh. No way.

Amy's POV

WAAAAAA! MY DOG! ROBOT! ME! IRKEN! AUG! WAH! WHA! HWA! HWA! MOOOO!

I grabbed the startled Irkens collar.

"I don't know how you do it, JUST FIX ME!"

"I told you, I don't know! It was sabotage!"

I yanked my antenna. I was trying to find hair…but oh well.

I dropped him.

"I HAVE THREE FINGERS!" I shouted. "HOW DO I PLAY VIOLIN? OR TYPE? I DON'T THINK THEY SELL THREE-FINGERED GOALIE GLOVES!"

"Amy, calm down!" Computer said.

"Oh, I'm not gonna calm down!" I said. "I'm gonna go raid the fridge for cheese and-" I stopped mid talk. "I-I…can't…eat…c-cheese…Ice cream…..MEAAAAAT!"

I started flailing around.

"Hiya, Hot stuff." GIR smiled at Molly. Molly backed away, a bit freaked out.

She looked at her metal body.

"AHHH! HOW WILL I EAT BONES?" She exploded, reassembled, over and over.

I held my temple.

"Calm down…go to your happy place….pokemon…pokemon…playing with pokemon…Ash…DON'T THINK ABOUT ZIM…pokemon….pokemon…OHH Spongebob…eevee….pikachu…PIE….MEAT…..COWS…." I said.

I finally stood up, breathing deeply.

"I'm okay…" I said, my voice shaking.

Shaking….JELLY….

Molly had calmed down. I sighed. "Zim, just…ugh." I groaned, sat down, and banged my face on the table. "I'm green. GREEN."

"Amy…" Zim said.

Bang. "What." Bang. "Is." Bang "It- HEY!

He had grabbed on to my antenna to stop me from head banging.

"I MUST BANG!"

"Listen, I'm going to try to find a cure. BUT, right now you should become an invader." Zim said.

"Masta, that's your dream, after being a pikachu or pokemon trainer, remember?" MIR said.

"Ruff!" Molly nodded. "Yup!"

"You know what…you are right! GET YOUR CRAPPY LEADERS ON THAT SCREEN ZIM!" I said.

He typed a few words on it.

I poked my antenna, fascinated and disgusted at the same time. The dress-thing was like a giant T-shirt. And my eyes….wow…I've got AMAZING vision now….and they are ruby red….

I stared at my gloved hands. Then my feet. YESSSS! I STILL HAVE BIG FEEEET! I LOVE MY BIG FEEEEEEEET.

I like the Muppets. THE MUPPETS FOR DA WIN!

Woof.

I wonder what would happen if an ostrich and a toad had babies….

"AMY!" Zim called. I stood up, and picked up Molly and MIR.

I named her MIR not because it went with GIR, but I wanted to name her after Molly. Cause Molly's epic.

I walked over, and smiled slightly, staring at now, MY leaders.

The thought makes me want to barf into next Christmas.

"My tallest, my friend has been turned Irken." Zim said.

"We can see that." Red said.

I cleared my thought. "Er…since I'm Irken now…could I please become and Invader and work with Zim?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Purple said.

He pressed a button, and a chip flew from the computer. I caught it.

"It's a PAK chip." Zim whispered. I put it in a slot in my PAK, and was filled with a feeling of importance.

"INVADER AMY, HERE!" I shouted, and saluted unwillingly.

Zim talked for a bit, then left.

I shrieked. "I SALUTED THEM! AUUUUUG!"

"Whats so-"

"I HATE THEM!" I shouted.

"Oh, yeah…"

"Listen, Zim, I love you and all, but I need a little time to myself, okay?"

He looked sad.

"Nah, I'm joking, lets go for a walk!" I said happily. He lit up.

He found his disguise and put it on.

"Here." He tossed me contacts and a blonde wig. I put them on. The contacts were purple, like his.

"AUG! THESE ITCH!" I swiped at my contacts.

"You'll get used to the filth." He gave Molly a black dog suit, fully black, and MIR her old suit, with the white paws and ears.

I rubbed my arm, it was acting up again.

Hiss.

Zim and I walked out, after GIR got his disguise on. Molly carried MIR and GIR. Minimoose just floated around, looking like a airplane.

"Wait…WHY AM I CARRYING YOU? WOOF!"

She dropped them.

"DOGGEH BE LIKE ME!" MIR hugged her.

Molly sighed. "Yeah, yeah, MIR."

No ones POV.

Amy strode along beside Zim.

She groaned again.

"What? HUMAN FILTH?"

"No." Amy said. "Smells-WAH!" She had tripped on the sidewalk. She fell into a pile of snow.

Amy wiped her face, and tried to get out, but she sunk down.

Her skin started to smoke, a felt as if acid was all over her.

"AHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" She shouted. "IT BURNS! BURNS SO BADDDD! HOLY FREAKING MOTHER OF CRAP!"

She scrambled out, still smoking.

"I…don't like…snow…" She panted, and wiped her forehead. "That hurt…"

Zim looked at bit worried. "You alright?"

"Y-yeah…" Amy said.

They found themselves in a park.

Suddenly, Zim was squirted by water.

Remembering the pain she felt, Amy grabbed a trash can lid to shield him.

"Molly! Defend!" Amy shouted.

Molly got on all fours, and growled, a deep rumbling noise.

"Wait…AMY?" The water stopped.

"ENEMY!" Molly shot lasers.

"Molly, heel!" Amy said. Molly nuzzled her leg.

The surprised boy stared at the female Irken.

He dropped his water gun.

"What…WHAT DID HE DO?" Dib shouted.

"Dib, wait! Someone sabotaged a machine to do this!" Amy said. " It turned me into a Irken, and Molly into a robot. I can't change back. I tried! WATCH!" She started to glow, and then the spit-on-match thing happened.

Dib groaned. "Great, now your evil to."

"Quite frankly-I love that word- I would not care less what he does to this Earth. I'll mainly watch. Course, if you try to KILL DIB…" She turned to Zim with a fierce look.

He gulped.

Amy sighed. "Arg, this is gonna be annoying, And get rid of that water gun before you spray me!" She snapped. "I'm going to go think." She stomped off. "AND DON'T KILL EACH OTHER!" She shouted.

"This is your fault, Zim!" Dib started.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Amy stared at the ground at the bottom of a cliff she hung her legs over.

She loved heights, but this was ruined cause there was a river at the bottom.

She groaned and flopped down on the cool grass.

"I can't go home….I can't change back…water hurts me…I can't eat the foods I like…" She sighed. "Rye's long gone…who else could have done it? Do I even still have my powers?"

She waved her hand, and a camera appeared. Amy picked it up and sat up.

"I guess my powers are still there…."

This was a huge change. Huger then moving schools.

At that had been HUGE.

"….." Amy stared at the sky. It was a clear, cool day. She took off her disguise, no one was around.

"Is that you breathing or an actual word, this …..?" A raspy voice said.

"Eh, I dunno." Amy said. "You got in a fight?"

"Yes." Zim sat down.

GIR, MIR, and Molly all tugged off their disguises. Minimoose changed back to a moose.

Zim took his off slowly.

"I've had my share of adventures, I can tell you that." Amy said. "But…this is huge. I was able to stop and leave if I wanted to. I can't now."

"Lifes like that!" MIR said.

Molly barked. "Its weird talking…" Her voice was clear and sounded like a teenage girl.

"LIFE GIVES YA LEMONS? BUY LEMON WAFFLES!" MIR shouted.

"No, you write a angry letter to life!" Amy laughed.

She looked at her fellow invader.

"Pudding."

Silence.

They both burst out laughing, evilly and non-evilly.

"BRING IT ON ALIEN LIFE! I EMBRACE YOU!" Amy shouted.


	10. Amy goes ALIEN part two

Amy rubbed her eyes and sat up on the sofa. It had been a long and painful night, she still had water burns, and she was so tired….she had to sleep. Irkens slept when hurt or exhausted. Amy groaned.

"I DON'T WANNA!" She shouted back to Zim, who wanted to show her his new invention. "WHAT IF IT TURNS ME INTO HALF GATOR, HALF MONKEY? A GAE MONKEY!" She snuggled back down under her blanket, hugging Helen the bear.

Helen was recently dressed in cute little overalls, and had pink and blue bows in her ears, and an airplane pin on the overalls. Milly's work.

Okay, Amy put the pin on.

Her gloved hand cradled her precious bear, remembering her grandma. Helen was her middle name. Helen the bear was handmade and very, very, special. Amy sighed.

"Oh, Grandma Amy, what would you do? What if you got turned into an alien? What can I do?"

Silence.

"As if a human could understand an epic author-"

"Enjoy yourself." A voice said. An OLD voice.

"AHHH! A GHOST! Oh…wait….CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?" She said.

"No, no, Its Grandma."

"Grandma?" Amy repeated. "But…your…OH MY HOLY FUZZODDLES. Y-you're an epic author!"

"Yes, I was much older then you thought." Grandma said.

"But..your dead…"

"No, I'm a sprit working with the great book."

"Why don't I see you?"

"Because…I don't know. Don't worry, Amy."

"Wait…you died from that sickness that makes you lose your memory….how do you…"

"It all came back."

"Oh…" Amy rubbed her green head. She poked Molly and MIR awake.

"Masta?" MIR said sleepily.

"Mistress?" Molly said.

"Meet my grandma." Amy said.

"Hello."

"Hi." MIR waved calmly.

"GHOST!" Molly shouted, and barked like mad.

"CALM DOWN!" Amy said.

"WOOF WOOF!" GIR said.

"Hey, that's not very polite-" Molly started.

"Meep!" (WHATS SHAKING?)

"Grandma…what do I do?" Amy said.

"Beware…something. And enjoy yourself. Bye."

The voice was gone.

Just as Zim came through the toilet.

"I MET MUH GRANDMA!" Amy shouted. "And NO, I don't want to be turned into a gae-monkey!"

"It's a shrinking machine…" Zim said, confused.

"HONEY I SHRUNK THE IRKEN!" Amy shouted. "Yeah right, I'm not riding an ant."

"What?' Zim looked at her quizzically.

"Long story. I like ants, they bite, NYAH." Amy flipped on her stomach and hung her good arm off the edge of the sofa. "Oww…" She sat up again. "That hurt…" She rubbed her arm, sweat dropping.

Molly nuzzled her leg like she would when she was a dog.

MIR hugged her.

"Well, then, how am I going to test it?" Zim said.

"I dunno, use Nick or something."

"Dib rescued Nick."

"What. The. Crap?" Amy turned.

"THE Dib rescued Nick." Zim said.

Amy rubbed her head. "Yikes, that's surprising. Ah, whatever, I'll test it. But you better be able to grow me!" Amy said.

"I have a working growing machine, don't worry!" Zim raised his hands. Amy sighed, and followed him to the lab.

Amy stood in front of the machine. She fiddled with her sharp claws.

"Shoot the stupid thing already." Amy said. Zim pressed it. Amy watched at the world around her shrunk, until she was about the size of a pencil.

MIR walked up to her, about two inches inches taller. Amy looked up.

MIR giggled.

"Don't you DARE pick me up!" Amy said.

"You so cute!" MIR picked her up and held her. Amy was crossing her arms.

"Put. Me. Down."

MIR held her high.

"AHH! Put me down!" Amy said. MIR put her down.

"Sorry, Masta!" She laughed.

"Zim, it worked already!" Amy shouted loudly.

She heard loud footsteps behind her.

"OW!" She cried, holding her antenna. "LOUD, LOUD, LOUD!"

She heard someone trying to hold in laughter.

She looked at the giant boot in front of her.

"This isn't funny!' Amy said.

Zim laughed.

"I'm bigger then you!" He said.

"Yeah, yeah, MAKE ME BIG AGAIN!" Amy shouted.

Zim was to busy laughing to hear. Amy felt her rage build up.

"Molly!"

Molly walked up to her, and picked her up.

"Woof! Were to?"

"Zim's PAK." Amy said.

Molly jumped up and placed her on Zim's PAK.

Amy summoned all her feet strength, and jumped and grabbed Zim's antenna with her one hand.

"I SAID MAKE ME BIG AGAIN!" She shouted to the raving Irken. Nothing.

Amy facepalmed, and scrambled up to stand on his antenna.

She stomped as hard as she could.

"YO, ZIM! FIX ME!" She shouted.

Finally, she got his attention.

"Huh? What?" he reached over, and gently picked her up. She glared at him. She had a NOT AMUSED. AMY IS NOT AMUSED AT ALL look on her face.

"I'm tired of being tiny! FIX ME!" Amy said.

"Fine." Zim set her back down to use the grow ray.

Amy waited, and felt herself grow back to normal.

Zim snickered. She gave him a yank on the antenna.

Amy strode out.

And jolted to a stop.

Amy fell over into MIR, who fell into GIR, then Molly, then Minimoose.

Amy got up quickly.

"AHHHH!" She shrieked.

She flailed her claws around.

"GET IT AWAY! ITS EVIL!" She ran to hide behind the surprised invader. "KILL IT!"

"Its…just a human iron…" Zim said.

"EVIL! EVIL!"

"Long story." MIR shook her head.

The Iron then grew. Huge. It had arms and legs.

Both Irkens gasped.

It picked up the shrink ray, and they shrunk, even smaller, now two inches.

The minions leapt to protect their master and mistress, and were burned by a flame from the iron.

Amy cried out, as she was picked up.

"PUT ME DOWN! MOLLY! MIR!" She said. They lifted their heads slowly.

Amy opened her mouth, and her sharp teeth gleamed. She bit down so hard she broke the metal.

The Iron dropped her.

Molly and MIR shakily got up.

"Molly, use….your secret weapon." Amy grinned. "MIR! BEANS!"

MIR threw a bean can at Molly, who ate it. She rumbled.

Amy yanked Zim away from the Iron.

"TAKE COVER! HIT THE DECK!"

Minimoose and GIR hit the floor, covering their faces.

MIR opened her chest plate, and put the Irkens in it.

She covered her face were a nose would be.

Molly ran at the iron, and tackled it.

The plate was see-through. Amy watched.

The Iron suddenly lurched, and started to smoke. It fell to the floor with a thud.

Molly covered her face. The SIR turned to MIR and gave her a thumbs up.

Amy came out, followed by Zim.

"What did she-" He started.

He stopped.

"EWWWW!"

Amy laughed. "Her secret weapon. An intensely sour fart that is silent but deadly. And she always seems to have her butt pointed at us back home! BUT YOU DID IT RIGHT! Good girl!" Amy rubbed Molly's head.

"WEE IT SMELLS SO BAD!" GIR said.

"Ahh, GROSS! EVEN I CAN SMELL IT!" Computer said. "I was trying to help, but that thing was strong…EWW!"

"Ruff!" Molly said. She remembered home….Amy's dad was in the room.

"Target acquired." Molly thought. She turned around, and let loose.

"Eww, Molly!"

Molly chuckled. "Hehe." She was brought back to the real world. She returned the Irkens back to normal size.

Amy stepped away from the iron.

"I'm going to examine it." Zim said.

"You do that." Amy inched away.

She went back up.

Amy grabbed her laptop.

She opened it, and tried to type.

"AUGERISH SMARISH THIS IS HARD!" She groaned.

Amy poked each key with her good hand.

Amy banged her head on the wall.

She held her head as her eyes went swirly.

MIR jumped up and typed something on her computer. Amy looked over.

"You just love Aqua." Amy said, as the Aqua song started to play.

"YUP!"

Molly growled. "SHUT UP, DOG TRYING TO SLEEP HERE! WOOF!"

"Your technically not a dog right now!' Amy shouted back.

"Woof."

Amy hissed as her arm protested to her leaning on the wall.

"Why so mad?" Computer said.

"Arm." Amy said. "And teenage hormones."

She flailed her good hand around to show her point.

"We are the Cartoon Heros…." Her laptop sang.

"Arg, Aqua's voices are NOT helping!" Amy hissed.

Amy smashed her face into the sofa.

She heard the doorbell ring.

"Dib, not now, I'm in a funk." Amy said loudly. She twitched her antennas. They picked up scent particles in the air.

That's odd. It's not Dib. He smelled clean, like a doctors office. This was more of a…fruity smell.

Amy lifted her head up.

She opened the door, and suddenly something knocked her out.

Amy's POV

Oww….what hit me? My head spun…

I opened it, and saw nothing….MIR was on my head, GIR on my good shoulder…Minimoose flying around me…Molly by my feet….I heard them all gasp….

Woof.

Everything was so blurry….I robbed my eyes.

Ah, crud, my eyes sting now.

I sit up.

I looked at my hand. It was attached to my hurt hand by a glowing cuff.

"Dib, if this is you, it is not funny!" I shouted.

My legs were in the same thing. PSSHAH. Only Author Cuffs can stop me.

I spit on them, the acid in my author spit dissolving them.

Yup. Authors have acid instead of normal spit.

So don't make me spit on you. It stings like HECK on humans.

I looked around the metal room.

"Alien Sleep Cuffs, they work!" I heard Dib say. He came in, and I tapped my foot impatiently.

"ZIM!" Dib pointed at me. "How did you do that to your arm, by the way.?

"Nuh UH!" I said. I waved my antenna around. "Notice DA BLACK LONGISH THINGS!" I jabbed a finger at them. Mine were different form Zim's.

Dib's eyes widened.

"AMY! I…uh…"

I waved my hand. "Eh, most Irkens look alike. A common mistake."

I suddenly stopped.

"HOLY FUZZODDLES WITH CRAP DRESSING AND CRUD SPRINKLES!" I shouted. "IS THAT WATER?" I shrieked, and ran from the giant bucket.

"Sorry, that was a trap for Zim!' Dib said, as I stood shaking behind him.

I pulled out my frying pan.

MOO MOOO I LIKE SHOES….TO EAT AND BEAT…..WOOF.

IZIZIZIZIZ

I walked into Zim's base, and explained what happened.

"So, whacha find out 'bout dat iron?" I asked.

"It's….disappearing!" Zim said.

"WHAZZAT?" I jumped up and ran to the lab.

Sure enough, it was fading. I ran my hand through it.

"This, is Epic Author work." I said.

Silence.

"DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!" MIR shouted.


	11. Amy goes alien part three

THIS CHAPTER CONTAISN MY VERSION OF THE UNFINISHED EPISODE "THE BEST OF THE BEST". ENJOY.

Amy stared at the iron.

"Theirs…another epic author here." She said.

Silence.

"DUN DUN DUN!" MIR said.

Amy groaned. "Arg, this is annoying-AH!" GIR was fiddling with the shrink ray. She shrunk down to two inches.

"Fix me…"

Zim picked her up. She put a hand on her hip.

"Zim!" She said. He snickered.

Amy pointed at him. "FIX ME OR I SHALL USE MY CHIBI RATH ON YOU!" She said.

Zim laughed, and fixed her.

"Its NOT funny!" Amy said.

She crossed her arms and turned.

"Really, whats so bad about another…one of you?" Zim said.

"They tried to kidnap us with an iron."

"…Oh yeah…"

"Moron." Amy turned back. "This is serious. An evil Epic Author is BAD." She shook her head. "Do NOT mess with one. We had to fight one a while back. Milly and I. It was bad."

Amy shuddered a moment. "Do….you think Rye….escaped?" She said.

"How would I know?"

"Wow, your very comforting." Amy sighed.

"Ah, don't worry Mistress! Woof!" Molly said. She rubbed her head on Amy's leg.

Amy reached down and rubbed her.

MIR hopped on her good shoulder. Everyone watched as the iron disappeared.

Zim shrugged, and went to check up on Irk News.

"Hey, The SIR unit games are TODAY!" He shouted.

"What?"

"SIR units compete to find the best." Zim said.

"Oh….like that unfinished episode…" Amy said under her breath. "Well! I'm entering mine!" She pointed at Molly and MIR.

"GIR's going to win!" Zim said.

"Oh yeah? My DOG, who I have trained for years ever since I got her for Christmas? Who obeys me? MOLLY! GO AND JUMP OVER MINIMOOSE FIVE TIMES!"

Molly jumped high in the air. She leaped over Minimoose five times. Amy turned to MIR. "MIR, quote! Remember, no swearing."

MIR pointed at her behind.

"Bite my shiny metal butt!" She said, quoting Bender from Futerama. Sorta. He uses a less nice word instead of butt.

"GIR! GO GET A BOMB!" Zim shouted.

One minute later….

"Very smart, Zim." Amy said. She wiped the soot off her face. "Very smart indeed."

She dug out Minimoose, MIR, GIR, and Molly from the wreckage.

Which is hard with one good hand.

"Well, lets go." Amy said.

Zim got the Voot started.

Minimoose was told to guard the base.

IZIZIZIZIZ

"Can I drive?"

"No."

Amy pouted.

FIVE MINTUES LATER.

"Can I drive now?"

"No."

FIVE.

"Now?"

"No."

FIVE.

"Now?"

"I said no!"

TWO.

"How about now?"

"NO!"

"COME OOOOOOOOONNNNN-"

"FINE!' Zim let her take the controls. Amy started to do stunts.

"AH!" Zim shouted. Amy laughed, as GIR barfed over Zim.

She spun around.

"WEEEEE!" Amy said.

Five minutes later….

Amy pouted in the back. She bounced her antenna.

Antenna were FUN.

They could detect movement, AND smell!

TWO IN ONE!

She picked up Zim's scent. He was like….ginger. And spices. It's an odd smell.

Amy sighed, and put her good arm behind her head.

"I wish I could sleep…" She groaned.

Five seconds later….

Amy breathed slower. MIR poked her, and got no reaction.

IZIZIZIZIZIZ

"WAKE UPPPPPPP!"

Amy shrieked and jerked awake. "Geezie Lousie! What a RUDE awakening!" She said to GIR, who was standing on her chest.

"SHES ALL WAKED UP!" GIR shouted.

Amy glanced around. "Were is MIR and Molly?"

"They be getting da gas with Master!" GIR said.

"Good, your awake." Zim came in.

"Why'd you wake me up to get gas?" 

"Woof! We are almost there!" Molly said.

"GET OFF MY CHEST!" A red anime mad sign appeared on Amy's head.

Molly plucked GIR off.

Zim took controls again, and they continued flying.

After a while, he called Amy over. She came over.

"There is the planet we are going to." He pointed. Amy gasped.

"So…many people…." She said. "COOLIO!"

Amy eyes shined as they flew to it.

Then came the problem of parking.

"THERE IS A SPACE-No someone took it…"

"THERE…No…"

"THERE….HEY A HOBO'S IN THERE!"

"HOW CAN THERE AN IRKEN HOBO?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!"

"THERE! No….stupid Massive took up 50 parking spaces! SPACE HOG!"

"THE MASSIVE IS NOT STUPID!"

"YES IT IS!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

Molly had to take the controls because the two Irkens were arguing.

She parked.

"K, lets get out." She turned, and both Irkens stared at her, in a tangle. Amy had Zim's leg, he had her arm, they were both scruffy.

"…Alright then." Amy dusted herself off and stood up.

"I'm going to go find some information. DON'T. GO. ANYWHERE." Zim said.

"I'm not stupid." Amy said, as they got out. Zim walked off.

Amy leaned against the Voot.

She felt Molly sit on her foot, and MIR crawled up to sit on her head. GIR was on her good shoulder.

Amy had to admit it, she loved her friends.

"Heh." She gave GIR a noogie.

Amy sat there, bored for a few minutes. She drummed the ship with her claws.

Finally Zim came back.

"Look." He gave her a paper.

Amy read the rules out loud.

"Only SIR units can compete. There can be one that gives commands, and a coach for the commander. Multiple SIR's can compete, but only one at a time…Blah...blah…" Amy said, reading quickly.

She looked at Zim.

"So?" she said.

"The robots seem to….obey you better." Zim said.

Amy looked at the robots clinging to her. "I guess. Sure, fine. I wonder when we will see Tak-"

"WHAT?' Zim shouted.

"Well, this is an unfinished episode called "The Best Of The Best". Tak was supposed to show." Amy said.

"SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME! AND TAKE EARTH! NO ONE STEALS INVADER ZIM'S PLANET!"

"…" Amy stared at him. "Moo. WOOT RANDOM! Anyway, lets go enter and get some hotel rooms!"

"Yes, good idea. The contest will take awhile." Zim said.

They walked over to the sign-up place.

"Whatcha want?" An Irken said. 

"We want to enter! DUR!" Amy said.

"Names, and how are you doing it?"

"I am the coach, she is the commander, these are the SIRS!" Zim said.

"Names?"

"I AM ZIIIIIM!"

"Your name?" The Guy said to Amy. "And theirs?"

"Er…Amy, MIR, GIR, and Molly."

"Weird names. Alright, here are your passes." He slapped cards in front of them. Amy picked up hers. They were plastic covered.

She slipped it into her PAK.

"Guys, put these in your chest boxes." She gave the SIR's their cards.

Zim was ranting about his awesomeness. Amy grabbed his antenna and dragged him inside the area where they would wait.

"Ow, hey, let go, hey! Hey! Let go of Zims antenna! Hey! Amy! Let go, hey! Ow! Come on! Let go! Come on, hey! Ow, come on! Ouch, Amy, let go, I AM ZIM!" Zim complained as she dragged him.

She let go.

"Here we are. Lets look at the competition." Amy pointed at a board.

Zim got up.

"There is Tenn, and Skoodge…" Amy said.

"Invader Spleen, Invader whats-his-face…" Zim said.

"Hey, there is Tak!" Amy pointed. "I knew it!"

She pumped her fist in the air. "BOO-YA!"

"Tak…here…" Zim stammered.

"Relax." Amy said. "You have an Epic Author on your side."

"ZIM!" They heard the familiar female voice said.

They glanced at each other, and turned.

Its not to hard to tell them apart. Amy had long curly antenna that hung down, and her shirt was longer, like a dress. Amy's PAK was yellow spotted. And of course, Amy had her sling. Other then that, they were identical.

But, it seems that MiMi did not look close enough.

She zipped straight at them, at her mistress's command.

Amy quickly got tackled.

She gasped, her breath knocked out.

"Ow, hey, I'm not Zim!" She said.

MiMi stared at her for a moment, as GIR, MIR, and Molly came over to see if she was okay.

"Masta?" MIR asked.

Amy coughed. "Eh, I'm fine." She sat up. "Jeez, Tak, get MiMi's vision checked or something!"

Tak called MiMi over.

"What a idiot." Zim said.

"Hey!" Tak shouted. "That's him!"

"Yeah, sure, get him." Amy said, standing up. "I can't do anything at all." Her voice was sarcastic.

MiMi attacked again. This time, Amy swiftly executed a goalie move, and dived. She pushed MiMi away, into a wall, with her good hand.

Tak just stared. "Why'd you help the most hated Irken ALIVE?" She said.

"Cause I wanna." Amy said.

"Who are you, anyway?" Tak said, her voice questioning.

"Names Amy, epic author, Irken at the moment. I'm a special species." Amy answered.

"You mean YOU ARE Zim's 'Amazing' helper?" Tak snickered. "You look weak!"

Amy frowned. She reached over, and plucked a struggling MiMi from the metal wall like it was tissue paper. She pulled a large chunk out in the process.

Amy bent it in half.

She held it up, and smiled a toothy evil grin. She did all that with one hand.

MiMi scuttled over to Tak.

She gave Amy a look that said Thanks.

Amy snapped her fingers, and the hole in the wall was fixed. "You were saying?"

"Er…."

Zim watched with wide eyes.

"Hiya!" GIR walked over to MiMi, Molly and MIR following.

"Whazzap?" MIR said. "I be MIR!"

"Molly." Molly said. "Er….I presume you can't talk?"

"…." MiMi shook her head.

"I don't want to mess with your affairs with Zim." Amy was telling Tak. "You can go ahead, I'm just here to play. I'm pretty sure he is not so stupid he can't protect himself. Truce?" She held out her hand.

Tak shook it. "I guess. I doubt he will live to see tomorrow."

"Have fun with that." Amy said. "I was turned Irken by a sabotaged machine, so I'm trying to enjoy it."

Tak waved that weird comment off. "I'll see you later."

"Yup."

Tak left with MiMi.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Zim shouted.

"What was what?" Amy said coolly. She knew Zim would not die, she had looked this episode up. "Lets go and get hotel rooms."

Zim sighed.

They got rooms at a nearby hotel, and soon they were sitting on identical beds.

"Why are there even beds?" Amy asked.

"…I have no clue."

"Course. GIR, don't you DARE put that pillow in your mouth." Amy said.

GIR put it back. "Aww…"

"MIR….what the heck are these?" Amy dangled something she found under her pillow in front of MIR.

"Irken mints!" MIR said.

Amy looked at them, made a face, and tossed them to MIR. "I hate mint."

MIR ate them.

Zim was looking through the schedule.

"When do we start?" Amy asked.

"Soon." Zim said.

"Can I have a specific time?"

"No."

Amy stared at him. "Well, THANKS, that helps a TON!" She said sarcastically.

MIR and GIR started to run around.

Amy put her head in her hands. The girl Irken started to whistle softly. Amy could only whistle when sucking air IN, so she did that.

Molly came over, and when she realized Amy was whistling a song, she sat down.

Zim put the paper down and watched as GIR and MIR stopped and sat down.

"What IS that?" Zim said.

"Whistling." Amy said. She gave a sharp whistle, and Molly stood up.

She sat on Amy's leg.

"I use it a lot to call Molly." Amy said.

She laid back on the bed.

"Anyone else bored?"

"Me!" MIR and GIR and Molly said.

Amy closed her eyes for a moment.

The next thing she knew, Zim was shaking her.

"You sleep to much! Its been hours! Lets go!" Zim said. Amy stood up, and they ran out.

The place they did stuff was a huge arena. Amy hissed when she saw the Tallest.

Zim gave her a sharp nudge. "Do you WANT to be put on trial?"

Amy sighed.

"First competition! Race!" The announcer said.

Each Irken set their SIR's down.

"GIR, you go." Amy said. GIR sat down on the starting line.

"GO!"

"GIR! GO!" Amy shouted, as the others started to fly because of their masters orders.

Zim groaned as GIR laid down.

"GIR! I'VE GOT A CUPCAKE FOR YOU IF YOU FINISH!" Amy shouted GIR looked up.

"CUPCAKE?" His jets turned on. The SIR unit blasted in the air, and past the other SIR.

One of them exploded. Then two more.

Amy thought that was odd, but it was no hair off her legs. And believe me, she's CHIMPY when she's in her normal form.

GIR blasted ahead.

"Hey, Zim!" Amy turned her head.

Skoodge waved.

"Skoodge, what are you….oh, wait, you stopped living at my base." Zim said. (Unfinished Episode "Day of da Spookies")

"Who's your friend?" Skoodge said.

"I'm Amy." Amy said.

She extended a hand.

"What….why are you…" Skoodge looked bewildered.

"Something wrong?" she put her hand down.

"Er…Its just….no ones ever been nice to me…"

Amy extended a hand again. Skoodge shook it. Amy was slightly shorter then him, she was Zim's size.

"Which one is yours?" Amy said. Skoodge pointed at a SIR unit that was right behind GIR.

"My little SIR!"

"Wow, he's fast. Not as fast as our GIR though, huh, girls?" Amy looked down at MIR and Molly.

"Nuh uh!" MIR said.

"Woof! Not when a cupcakes involved!" Molly said.

"This is Molly, and MIR. I'm going to enter them later." She said.

"Hiya! Woof!" Molly said.

"MOOOOOO!" MIR said.

"We have a winner!" The Announcer said.

Everyone turned. Amy jumped in the air.

"YEAH MAN!" She said.

Amy and Zim rushed up to the Tallest, were they were supposed to be.

"Here, your first win." Red said, bored. He tossed them both medals.

Amy had to control herself to conceal her hatred.

Amy picked up GIR.

"Great job!" She high-fived the happy SIR.

Amy handed him the cupcake.

"Hey, someone sabotaged my SIR!" Some Irkens complained. Amy looked up. The owners of the exploded SIR's were checking them out.

Amy glanced at Molly, who shrugged.

The next game came soon after.

"PIE-EATING CONTEST!"

"Why- You know what, I'm not even going to ask." Amy groaned. "GO! MIR!"

MIR hopped out, and sat in front of a huge table of pies.

"GO!"

"MIR, NOW!" Amy shouted.

The crowd in front of MIR got covered in Irken pie insides in half a second.

Four SIR units exploded when they ate their first one.

Amy twirled her antenna on her finger.

"Hmm…"

MIR one, of course. The happy SIR jumped up and down.

The next one was a command contest. Strangely, six SIR's would not turn on.

Amy picked Molly.

Zim told her the commands, which she told Molly.

"Speak!"

MiMi failed so hard at that.

"Fly!"

All the Irkens were coughing at the smoke.

"Laser!"

Amy snickered as multiple lasers hit random Irkens.

"Sit!"

Molly was the first one to finish, as that was not a command SIR command.

Finally, the day was over, and it was time to go in.

"Wow, Zim, we won three out of eight times!" Amy said.

"Its not good enough!" Zim said. "And I'm worried. Someone is sabotaging the SIR's."

"Oh, and Tak almost killed you." Amy said, remembering something earlier.

Amy sat down on her bed. "Robots, sleep with me so mean people won't hurt you."

"Woof!"

Amy laid down, and the three SIR's snuggled up next to her for warmth. She was tired, and her arm hurt. Amy feel asleep fast.

Soon the SIR's did too.

Zim watched at first, then got up to get an Irken snack. He missed them, ever since he got to Earth. He went to the lobby.

He stood in front of the machine.

He put his PAK thingamabob into it, and waited. It started to come, then got stuck.

Zim growled.

He kicked it.

"Looks like we meet." A voice said. He turned around, to see Tak.

"Tak! Uh…you'll wake Amy up!" He said.

"She's on the fourth floor." Tak said.

Zim gulped.

The snack fell down. He grabbed it.

"Uh…"

"Shuddup you two!" Amy walked next to him. Her eyes looked bloodshot. "Ur….GIR spilled water that was dirty over my eyes…I woke up, and came down to wash them out."

She went to a water fountain, and splashed water in her eyes with her one hand.

She waved a hand at them. "Carry on."

"I'm going to kill you once and for all." Tak said.

"What?" Zim said. He had been stuffing his face with the snack.

"Oh, you are such a MORON!"

"Tell me about it." The still-eyeball washing Amy said.

Amy looked up. "What-"

A SIR looked up at her. It had bright purple eyes, and looked like GIR or MIR.

Amy knew it from somewhere.

"Hm?" She said, her eyes clean. "Who're you?"

It stared at her, then walked away.

Amy shrugged, and left Tak and Zim to fight.

She went back to her room to sleep.

IZIZIZIZIZIZIZ

Amy's eyes jerked open. She stared at the ceiling, recollecting her thoughts.

"Hey, your aw-"

"WHO ARE YOU?" Amy shouted.

"What are-"

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"I'm-"

"WHAT ARE YOU?"

"I-"

"MONKEY TURDS!"

Amy rubbed her eyes. "Eh, sorry, forgot everything for a moment." She sat up, waking up the SIR's. "C'mon, buddies!"

"Yay, Mistress!" GIR said happily.

"Hm?" Amy turned.

"Well, since yous are with master, you be Mistress!" GIR smiled.

Amy's eyes teared up. "AWWW!" She hugged him, tears running down her face. "THATS SO SWEET!"

Amy's POV

We ate, then went back to the stadium.

"So, you survived Tak?" I asked Zim.

"NOTHING IS NO MATCH FOR ZIIIM!"

"Yup, he still thinks he's god." I said to Molly. She nodded.

Moo moo I'm a unicorn!

"Okay, choose one SIR!" The announcer said.

"GIR!" Zim said.

"Go, GIR!" I said. He jumped up.

"Making BOMBS!" The announcer said.

I froze, and glared at Zim. He gulped.

"GIR! MAKE A BOMB!" I shouted.

He started to randomly piece things together. I noticed there were only five SIR's.

Including the purple one. She was SO familiar…

Something exploded. A fire roared up.

"AHH!" The crowd shouted, as the lights turned off. Everyone started to rush out of the fire. I grabbed GIR, and Molly got MIR. I was soon alone.

I saw the purple SIR again.

And MiMi.

"TAK!" I called. She was nowhere to be seen. I looked at my arm. Stupid bad arm….

I saw Skoodge and SIR, and rushed over.

"Are you okay?" I said.

"Yeah…" Skoodge tumbled over. SIR looked at me.

"HELP! PLEASE!" He said. GIR was shaking. I picked up SIR, and glared at my bad arm.

I yanked off my sling, and scooped up MiMi and the Purple SIR.

My shoulder felt like it was exploding.

SHOULDER GO BOOM BOOM!

I released my PAK legs, and used one to picked up the coughing Skoodge.

He gave me a thankful expression. I made my way to the door, the weight of Skoodge, my shoulder, and the terrified SIR's almost killed me.

I could hear Zim outside calling my name. I finally staggered out, burned, and blood all over my hurt shoulder.

He rushed over, followed by my dog and MIR. MIR and Molly hugged GIR, all off them sobbing.

Tak ran over.

"Oh, MiMi!" She hugged MiMi. "I was so worried!"

I felt my head feel heavy.

Skoodge stood up shakily, holding SIR.

I stared at the purple SIR, and something clicked.

"Leela…" I said. Leela….was Rye's SIR….named after the mutant in Futurama…

She stared at me with big purple eyes.

"Rye…You came to warn me…." I whispered. Leela was a defect, because she was kind and caring.

"He is…trying to escape…" She whispered. Then disappeared into thin air.

I fell to the ground, my energy drained.

IZIZIZIZIZ

Oh…pretty colors….is that a flying doctor?

OHH It's a MONKEY….

I opened my ruby colored orbs.

Back at the hotel….

My shoulder ached all over, but I could move it.

The bandages were hidden under the uniform, though.

I groaned. "Ow…I felt like I just ate a bead and it exploded in my brain…or maybe like that time I swallowed a quarter in fourth grade…and I was to grossed out to look for it….what am I talking about?"

"YOUR AWAKE!" Zim shouted

"Zim…what happened?" I said.

"You passed out, the games were postponed to be fixed. And…and…" He started to sputter. "The Tallest did not care that you risked your life for Skoodge and four SIRs!" He was shaking.

"How-how's Skoodge?" I said suddenly.

"He's fine. All the other SIR's are being put back together, they were practically destroyed."

"The bomb….it was not GIR…or Tak…" I said.

"What?" Zim said.

"Tak. She was sabotaging the stuff. I know these things." I said. Eh, I read up on unfinished episodes.

We heard a knock on the door.

I sat up, and Zim got it.

Skoodge and Tak stood there.

Tak gave Zim a look full of acid.

"I wanted to say thanks…" Skoodge said. I waved my hand.

"Irkens gotta stick together. Even if I'm not supposed to be Irken." I said.

"Thanks…for getting MiMi…" Tak said.

"No prob, I like her." I said.

I suddenly remembered. I snapped pictures and got autographs.

Happy Amy is Happy.

I've actually done things like this before.

One thing you should know about Amy, I am VERY protective of my siblings. If you mess with them, I may hunt you down with my dog form. Long story, I accidentally got a dog form on my first portal try. I can turn into a yellow dog, with black paws and natural dark yellow highlights. I'm a collie and black lab mutt, with some wolf in their. I can't do it often though, it drains my energy like NOBODY'S BIDNESS. All epic authors have this problem, on their first try, they usually get a form. Milly can change into a bright red eagle, to match her fiery red hair. My cousin Sebastian, who is another epic author, can turn into a brown elephant. Ug, you remember Ug? He can turn into a mammoth…yeah…Ug creeps me out a bit…

So, I've had to same Jacob a few times. He's a little disaster magnet. Seriously. The kid would burst into flames when he was swimming if I was not around.

Zim and I were left alone.

"Pudding." I said, with a grin.

We all had our laughing fit.

"So, is the competition over?"

"Yeah. We won." Zim said.

I grinned. "Can we go back now?"

"We have to wait for the awards ceremony."

"Grr. Me no like Tallest."

WOOF WOOF HEAR ME OINK. Hehe. That was fun to make. And, FREAKING HECK RYE? NOESSSSSS. Don't worry, he's not the villain in this story. FOR NOW MWAAHAHHAH. And Tak no get to kill Zim…..WAAAAAAA. I've been kinda busy, so this chapter was not as good as the others. At least I think so. I will try and do better, my readers! And yup, I've had to get Jacob's butt out of many situations before. The fire thing was EASY considering what I've been through already. No joke. One time, I had to kick five dudes butts that were trying to beat the crap outta him. I gave them a talking to, and a kick in the shins. Booya. RIP OFF ARTISTS! *Kick!* I love Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends! AND BENDER! YAYY! MORE SHALL BE REAVEALED IN NEXT CHAPPY!

~Commander Author Amy, SIGNING OFF!


	12. AMY IS TEH ALIEN part four

**Sorry this is so late. I've been having trouble with things outside the Internet. But I'm back now! OUT OF MY HIATUS**

Amy plucked the strings of her violin. She had taken off the sling, and her shoulder hurt when she moved it. But she did not give a crap, as she had a very high pain tolerance.

Three fingers were NOT helping her practice. She had poofed it from home, and was trying to play. She could only play first and second fingers. That's when you put your fingers on the strings. But you need to be able to play third and fourth finger. But she did not have two other fingers.

She could play OKAY when she was back in her normal form…but now….

Amy groaned and poofed it away. The violin was the only instrument she COULD play, so now she was bored.

Bored like a germ in a clean toilet.

…..Okay, that was really bad.

Note to self.

Think of better idioms.

Also, restock toilet paper in bathroom.

Amy's POV

Well I'm SO happy right now. YEAAAAAAAAH I'm so TOTALLY not bored out of my MIND right now! OHHH YEAHHHHH!

I wonder what Zim's up to? Probably talking to the Tallest. I think he said something about calling them half an hour ago. Or he was speaking Spanish. I don't know. I was reading.

I sat up straight, and cracked my knuckles. I flinched as a loud CRACK echoed around the room. Yikes.

The TV was dead, because the people Zim gets his power from need to pay their bill. Because they spend most of their money on R-rated movies. Like the creepy turds they are.

I thought for a moment, and lit up as I had an idea.

"Okay, fun time!" I said, and waved my hand next to me on the sofa.

Nothing.

"What?" I stared at my hands. My laptop was supposed to appear. Oh wait. My laptop was broken, DUH! And my other computer was a desktop. I shrugged, and decided to make a big jukebox appear.

Nothing.

"Okay, for real this time, THE CRAP?" I flailed for a moment. Righting myself, I tried again.

Instead of working, an awful migraine started to pound in my head. I grabbed the sofa to hold my balance. Oh, Jeeeezus, what the heck is wrong?

I tried again and again to poof things, and failed each time. My head felt as if a hammer was drilling it. If that was possible.

It finally stopped after ten minutes.

"Brain…why'd you do that?" I groaned. "I thought we were friends!"

I sat up, a little shaky. There was no doubt about it. My powers were leaving.

"Shitake mushrooms just got serious." I said, quietly. If my powers fully left me….well, lets say it wont be pretty. I stumbled around like a drunk man.

"MOLLY!" I called.

A few moments later, the robot flew into the room. "What's up, Mistress Amy?"

"I-urg-think something's wrong with me." I said, clutching my stomach area. My whole body was sore.

"You should go to Zim."

"He's kind of PO'd at me right now." I said. "Because of what I did to the uniform."

"Oh."

A few hours ago, I had decided I was sick of the uniform I had, and I switched my creative switch ON. In the private part of the house called the bathroom, I maimed my uniform. First to change were the gloves. I had cut off the fingers to make them fingerless. My shirt was next, cutting off the triangle thingies and making it into a semi-baggy dark red shirt (thanks to the dark red dye I grabbed from…um…somewhere….YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING) I stitched the pink sleeves into the red shirts sleeves, to keep myself warm. The pants and boots stayed the same.

Yes.

Guess who got mad?

Guess who threw a fit?

Guess who had to pull them apart?

Guess who then stuffed their face?

And also swore out the empire?

AND swore out just about everything any self-respecting irken respects?

Guess who stomped off in a huff?

I was pretty happy with the changes, to be truthful. Thank cheese my mom is a good seamstress! At least my traits had not changed when I turned Irken.

"So, what now?" Molly said.

"Just-just-just….get me a computer and PONIES!" I said. "That should calm me down."

"Okay. Woof." Molly left and returned with some sort of Irken computer. She handed me a CD.

"Where?" I asked.

"I take one with me at all times, just in case."

"Ahh." I flipped open the screen and slid the disk in the drive.

For two hours, I was immersed. When it ended, I stood up, rubbing my giant eyes. Bored again.

LIKE A FIIIIIIIIIIISH.

"Hey. It can't take THIS long to call the Tallest." I muttered. I walked over to the elevapotty and stepped in it. "To were ever Zim is!" I said, and went down.

"WEEEEEEEE!" I said, as I went down.

ELEVATORS! FUN! SLIDE! MONKEYS! WAFFLES!

With a thump, I landed, and hopped out, twitching my antenna.

"And I have been studying one tall human closely, who is SO STUPID he-" I followed Zim's voice.

There he was. Talking to his turd-for-brain leaders. Who looked utterly bored. I was tempted to leave them to the torture, but I have a soul. Even if it is black. Heh.

I cleared my throat. "ZIIIIIIIIM! YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLED!" I shouted. "SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF HER LITTLE BABY WAS OKAY!"

He froze. Zim finally noticed me in the shadows and stared at me in pure shock.

I heard snickering from GIR and MIR, who were sitting nearby, playing with wires and a chicken from one of Zim's many experiments.

"AND YOU LEFT THIS LYING AROUND!" I threw one of his uniforms at him. This was a real problem that was REALLY starting to tick me off. "AND THE ROBOPARENTS ARE MAKING OUT AGAIN ON THE LAWN!"

They really were, actually. It was not good for the soul to watch.

"AND I AM ON THE EDGE OF MY FRAGILE LINE!" I shouted. "YOU BETTER SHAPE UP AND CLEAN UP, OR I CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND TELL HER TO DUMP YOU!"

This time, MIR, GIR, and I know the Tallest were probably laughing so hard they cried. I tilted my hip in the typical sassy pose, (out of character much?) and smirked.

Zim slowly disconnected the call.

Oh yes. I got him _good_.

MIR's POV

I stopped laughing as the sounds of shouting filled the room. Amy shouted something about peanuts, and Zim was shouting at her about the interruption. Then Amy shouted something about a moose.

MINIMOOSE! I jumped up, dropping the chicken, and the pretty wires GIR and I were making into something. A BUTTERFLY!

The purple moose had fallen asleep on the way back from the SIR games, and has not been seen since. I'll be circuited before he got lost! I ran to the elevator, taking some wires with me. The two irkens were shouting at each other, and GIR had fallen asleep hugging the chicken. I was overcome with the urge to burp incredibly loud, a smile flame blowing from my mouth. I climbed up the elevator shaft, playing my spy music for no reason.

"You know, you could just take the elevator…" Computer offered.

"NO TIME, JELLO!" I shouted back, my mind set on finding Moosie. Hopping out of the sink where I had come up, I took a perception check. The room was quiet. TO QUIET.

I took a deep breath, as I took one last look around the dark room.

"CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRGE!" I ran in a straight direction. "WITH KETCHUP!"

My extending arm grabbed the red bottle as I stopped moving, and slid along the shiny floor, sparks shooting from my metal feet. The screeching sound caused a rat to jump out from a hole.

My eyes narrowed. "Mr. Rat, GIT DA HECK OUTTA HERE!"

Screeching loudly, the rat ran back in its hole. I crossed my arms, and smirked. I took a step forward and fell flat on my face.

"Hehehe…" I flipped open the ketchup bottle top and took a swing of the red liquid, getting some on the floor. Hm. Red. MAYBE MOOSIE WAS WITH DIBBERS?

I casually opened the window.

"Were are you going?" Computer said, sneezing.

"Outside. What does it look like?" I scoffed, swinging one short leg over the window.

"You can't leave! Think of me! Your master will KILL me if you get lost!" Computer said, begging.

"You can use the pencil." I pulled my other leg over, sitting on the windowsill. "Duh." Everyone knows that.

"Wha?"

"You know what I mean." I waved my hands. "THE pencil!" The ketchup fell into a bush below. I hopped down, and picked it up to drink again.

The snow was thick, up to my head.

"GET BACK HERE!" Computer shouted as I swam to the road.

After the incident with the snow-in-head, I had installed heaters in my head. "And…TURN ON, FROGGIES!" I smacked my head, and the heaters switched on, clanging around. I smiled, satisfied, and walked along, drinking the 'sup.

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. THUMP.

The clanging of my metal feet against road stopped as my head hit something. I looked up, at a car. Then put on my shades. "Lets do this thang. With yellow."

I smile. "Problem?"

No one's POV.

GIR yawned, drool dripping down his metal face. The grotesque little robot glanced over to find his companion missing.

"WERES WIFEY?" He shouted.

Amy and Zim froze mid-fight, Zim's claws on the female's waist and her claws on his neck, him straddling her legs. The Irkens realized how awkward they looked, and quickly Amy kicked Zim off, her face bright yellow.

"You mean MIR? She probably went to get something to eat." Amy twitched her antenna. "You guys have not eaten since we got back, and she probably went to get the leftover biscuits."

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT WORD?" Zim shouted, making Amy wince being so close.

"BISCUTS BISCUTS BISCUTS BISSSSSSSSSCUTS!" She taunted, shouting equally as loud. "IN A BISCUT! BISCUT! BISCUT AND TOAST! BISCUT! BISCUT!"

"NOOOOO!" Zim shouted, yanking his antenna.

A thump caused him to stop. The Irkens looked at an air duct. The cover fell to the floor, and a dust-covered shape fell out. It cleaned something, and stopped as it realized it was being watched.

"Er…Pizza?" Dib stammered.

"DIB-MONKEY!" Zim shouted. "IN MY BASE! DIB! COMPUTER! KILL THE DIB!"

Dib dodged the lasers shot at him, and glanced at Amy. "Aren't you going to help me?"

"Nah." Amy shrugged, and drank something that she had found randomly lying around. She really had no sense of self-preservation, now did she?

While Zim and Dib fought, GIR had been crawling around. He stopped at the elevator. "MY WIFE BE UP THERE! I LIKE DOOOOO-" He shouted, as he flew up it with his rockets.

"Does ANYONE use the elevator?" Computer groaned.

"KKKKIE!" GIR shouted from inside the elevator.

"OUT OF MY BASE, DIB-TURD!" Zim shouted.

"Wait…that's a new one." Dib paused.

Zim jerked a thumb at the female Irken, who nonchalantly drank the liquid.

"What? Did I say something? Do I smell?" She said. Her eyes widened and she lifted her foot up to her face, to smell. "Um...yeah, I would turn around if I were you. Or put on oxygen masks. Probably both."

Dib threw the chicken from before at Zim. Zim whipped out a gun, and aimed it at Dib.

Just as he was about to shoot, Amy screamed "OH, GOD!"

"WHAT?" Zim and Dib shouted at the same time, startled.

The Irken female was clutching her stomach area with one hand, the other hand over her mouth. As she pulled it away, a bright poison green liquid dripped from her mouth, and it was on her hand. Her ruby eyes were wide, and scared.

"WHAT IS THAT?" Zim shouted, staring at her. He stopped suddenly as she her body jerked violently and she hacked up more of the green stuff. It was thick, much thicker then Irken blood, which was also green.

"Why did you stop?" Dib said.

"G-germs…" Zim stammered.

"WHATHAPPENEDDIDANYONEDIE?" Molly ran in on all fours, and rushed over to her mistress.

She froze at the sight of the green stuff.

"N-no!" Molly's eyes widened.

"What is it?" Dib said.

"That's..that's…" Molly gulped. "She is being poisoned by another Author! One super-powerful one! Adult power!"

"What do you mean, metal dog?" Zim questioned.

"I thought she had a ton of power!" Dib asked,

Molly fixed her glowing eyes on Dib. "Uh. No. She's powerful for her AGE. An adult Author could whoop her butt! They have been known to create entire UNIVERESES! And I mean BIG ones, that keep on going!"

That thought made Zim stiffen. "Metal Dog, could the games have something to do with this?"

"I don't know…That DID take a lot of her energy." Molly whined. "She can't do stunts like that without getting TIRED or HURT. She's to proud to admit she's in pain, or that something is to much for her. Remember when she tore up the wall? She had her blood pumping. She could NEVER do that with one hand otherwise. Maybe someone at the games poisoned her when she was weak!"

"What are you talking about?" Dib said.

"NONE OF YOUR SMELLY BUISNESS!" Zim shouted.

"I can't….My powers are leaving…" Amy coughed.

"This seems like a good time to tell you MIR left the house." Computer said, as if they were discussing dresses over a cup of tea. AND COOKIES.

"WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW?" Molly barked.

"She crawled out the window, and stole your ketchup, Zim."

"WHAT? MY KETCHUP? THAT PUNY INSOLENT ROBOT STOLE MY AMAZING KETCHUP?" Zim shouted.

"You don't even like ketchup." Computer said. "It makes you break out in hives, remember?"

"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!"

Amy smacked him, hard. He blinked. Amy facepalmed and grabbed his collar, bringing him closer to her face. The green liquid was pouring out of her mouth, and her speech was garbled.

"U it my obot o I il u." She managed to say.

"Zim gets your obot? IS IT A WEAPON?" The Irken male shouted, his ruby orbs gleaming with evil and greed. Over the course of living so long with the female, they had formed a sort of love-hate relationship, like siblings, almost. Or politicians.

Amy turned her head to hack up more of the vile liquid, and gave Molly a curt nod. The dog-bot saluted her.

"Find. MIR." Amy lifted a finger, and her eyes rolled back into her head as she fell over, unconscious.

Molly grunted as she caught the Irken. The liquid was slowing down, dripping from her mouth slowly.

"I'll stay here." Molly sighed, and turned to Dib with a fierce look. "Dib, get your butt home." Dib high-tailed it out of there, from the scary robot.

"I SHALL RESCUE THE ANNOYING FEMALE ROBOT!" Zim shouted.

"You do that." Molly growled, glancing over at Amy, who was lying on her stomach with her arms stretched in front of her and her legs stretched behind. Zim grabbed a gun with glee, cackling as he thought of plans to retrieve the robot while also causing damage to the city.

"MY WIFE DIVORCED ME!" GIR screamed from above.

A new voice, shrill and female, shouted back. "I KNOW THAT SHES LOST! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, IDIOT!"

"ARE YOU HER SISTER? YAY! FAMILY! LET ME GET THE HAPPY STEAK!" GIR shouted.

A boom made Zim stop as he was about to step into the elevator, disguise on.

"YAY!" GIR cheered.

"Computer, HURRY UP!" Zim shouted, as the elevator started slowly up.

"I'll hurry you up…" Computer growled, and the elevator shot up, making Zim fall over.

He shot up, into the roof. As the Invader fell back to the floor, GIR flew past into the TV, giggling.

A purple-eyed robot Zim had never seen before exited the kitchen. She was so furious steam rose from her head. Instead of an antenna, she had a purple covering of some sort hanging behind her, like a ponytail, and some flipped over her eyes. Closer inspection revealed the purple stuff was purple metal covering a bunch of technology, giving her super-smarts.

"GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A MORON!" She screamed, at GIR, who's antenna was in her hand. She dropped him as Zim appeared.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Zim shouted. Purple-eyes turned to him.

"I am-"

"WHO ARE YOU?" Zim shouted.

"I am-"

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"I…am….L-"

"WHO ARE YOU?"

The robot bit her bottom…lip….thing….SHUT UP… "FFFFF BE QUIET!" She hissed. "My name is LEELA! GOT THAT? LEELA! You are SUCH a moron!" She let out more steam. This robot was GIR's size, with slender limbs.

Leela let out an exasperated sigh. "Listen, I was Rye's robot. I've been following my Mistress, helping her out. She never told you that I was helping her save those guys in the fire, or that she saw me earlier that day. I made sure she could breath easily enough. Before you scream again, I'm here to say I'm going to help her out now."

Zim opened his mouth.

"And NO, I am NOT a halloweenie." She hissed.

He closed his mouth.

"Lets GO." Leela slammed the door open, the wall cracking. Outside the door the Roboparents were doing things children should not see. Zim shouted at them.

MIR's POV

The car drove smoothly along the road, and I heard some animals cry out as I drove. I turned on the radio.

(Meanwhile, A guy drove behind a gray car. Suddenly, music blared from it.

I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!

His car flew away from the shock waves.)

I stuck my tongue out happily, and said the next line with it. "You other brothers can't deny!"

My shades obstructed my view a little, but oh well. IT ONLY EQUALS 6.

"Baby's got back!" I said, rapping along, and smiling at a swimsuit magazine on the seat next to me.

Hey. I can have my perv moments.

I'm a robot, fool! I outclass all of you!

I swerved past a duck crossing the road, and shouted a stream of insults I learned from my friend, the Kindle!

"YA DONKEY! GIT OUTTA DA STINKIN ROAD BEFORE I KICK DA TOMATOES OUTTA YOU!" I shouted, waving my fist. I also made the PERFECT symbol with my hand, grinning. IN RUSSIA, IT'S A SERIOUS INSULT!

"You little черт!" The duck shouted. "I'll бить you if it is the last проклятие thing I do, little крыса!" (THAT. THAT IS. THAT IS REAL RUSSIAN. THANK YOU GOOGLE TRANSLATE.)

Oh. Lesson in life, kids. Watch out for Russian ducks. Even if Russia is an epic country.

I stuck my head out the window, and blew a raspberry, just as the car slammed into a store. I hopped out, and walked across the street as the store owner shouted. "HEY-A! WHO-A CRASHED THIS-A AUTO HERE-A? MAMA MIA!"

I knocked on the door, checking out my metal hand as I waited.

"WHAT NOW? First Dib coming over in the middle of the night, now the doorbell!" A purple-haired girl opened the door, her eyes flaming. "WHAT IS IT?"

I opened my mouth. "AHHHH. Name's MIR. Have you seen a purple moose, about the size of a full-grown cheese?"

She growled. "NO." She glared at me for a moment. "Aren't you one of Zim's stupid robots?"

"Advanced."

"What?"

"I'm advanced. And cereal, but that's another story." I smiled and nodded.

She turned. "DIB! ONE OF ZIM'S STUPID-"

"ADVANCED!"

"-ROBOTS IS HERE! COME GET IT AND DON'T WAKE ME UP AGAIN!" She left the door open, and left. I stood outside, rocking on my feet, whistling.

Dib ran to the door, and relaxed as he saw me. "Oh. It's just you, MIR."

"JUST ME?" I held up the ketchup. "YOU FORGOT HIM!"

"And the ketchup-"

"BILLY. His name is Billy!" I shook him around.

"Okay, Billy!" Dib groaned. "I better call Zim to let him know I found you…hmmm…." He got a glint in his eye. "Or I could trap him with you!"

I drank some of Billy's brain juice. "Om nom. Power Ketchup tomato power!"

"I take that's a yes?"

"Nom." I started to walk away, to continue the search for Moosie. I had to find him, or Girly would worry!

Dib turned me around, into his house. I continued walking inside.

My eyes extended at all the technology. I zoomed in on Dib.

"What are you doing?"

"Focusing."

He backed away.

I poked a sofa. "It should be blue."

"Um…It is blue…" Dib said.

"WELL IT'S NOT BLUE ENOUGH!"

"S-sorry?" Dib said.

A man walked over to Dib. "Well son, what might this be?"

"A ROBOT! AN ALIEN ROBOT!" Dib said, excited. What's the big stink about?

"Alright, son, I'll leave you to play with your shiny friend!" The man said, and walked away.

"BYE HAROLD!" I shouted.

Dib rubbed his hands together. "Please, be quiet, or you will wake my sister."

"OOOOOKAY!" I made Billy nod. "GO GO KETCHUP RANGER!"

I sat down on the sofa, and picked up a marker. I drew a happy face on Billy, while Dib made a call.

"No, you stupid robot! Get me to ZIM!" He said.

"OKAY!" The familiar voice made me look up. I had drawn a manly mustache on Billy, and was adding fine details at the moment, cause I'm just awesome like that. THE MANLYNESS.

"DIB! WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME, PIG-FILTH?" Zim's voice ran from the phone.

"I found your moronic robot's girlfriend. She's not much smarter then him-OW!" I kicked his leg.

"EXCUSE ME?" I said. "Sei un idiota totale, parlo italiano!"

He just stared at me. "Er…yeah. So come and get her…" His voice was teasing as he hung up. "So….gotta entertain the Princess of Stupid…" He muttered.

"PONIES! Dare i pony, ingannare!"

"Um...ponies? My Little Pony? That show is waaaaay to mature for you. It's, like, rated R."

"COSA? Vi maledicono universo differente, ti maledico!" I feel to my knees. "WHY?"

No one's POV

Zim put down the phone. "If I didn't know better I would think this was a trap!"

Leela groaned loudly. "Let's go. And YOU carry the moron." She threw GIR at Zim.

Zim gave GIR his disguise, and stared at the purple 'bot.

"I will go without one, thankyouverymuch." She scoffed.

"I WILL NOT BE EXPOSED BECAUSE OF YOU!" Zim shouted.

Leela flinched. "Fine." She slapped on contacts. "Happy?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Zim walked out the door, the green dog following him. Leela cast a worried glance at the elevator.

"She will be fine." Molly called up, obviously to her. "I can smell you."

Leela high-tailed it out.

"Alright, so, my tracker says she is-"

"THE DIB!" Zim interrupted.

Leela was tempted to kick the crap out of the Irken. He was obnoxious, rude, and loud. Not to forget, cynical as heck. GIR was better then this. How did Amy put up with this?

"This guy better shape up." She growled. "Or he will be eating crapberries for brunch."

"WERES MUH WIFE? WE WERE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF LITTLE TATER-TOTS!" GIR squealed loudly. "I like dookie!"

"And I hate you." Leela hissed softly. "I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Hey, Purple-Robot-thing-NOT WORTHY." Zim said. "I've got an AMAZING question."

"Sure, just as long as its not about my eye." Her eyes were abnormally large, and one of them was broken, so it did not glow, only stay a dull purple. She could only see through one eye, the one covered slightly by purple hair-metal.

"Uhh..."

"Is it about my eye?" Leela sighed.

"Sorta?"

"Ugh.." Leela sighed, facepalming. "Just ask the question."

"What's with the eye?"

"I'm a FIGHTING robot, alright? Lets drop the subject." Leela said. "I was found by…HIM, and used to fight and do his dirty work. I never knew my real creator, except for Amy, but she made me up, not truly put me together."

(A/N Anyone who gets the Futurama reference-sort-of-thing (Other then the eye and hair, which is supposed to look EXACTLY like real Leela's hair) gets…um…A MIR HUG! YEAH! A MIR HUG! Feel honored. YOUR FUTURE DICTATOR COMMANDS IT.)

"Now, lets get on with this, OKAY?" Leela said, and suddenly stopped moving as she reached a precipice. Looking over the edge, she sighed. "I think we went the wrong way."

Silence.

"Yay!" GIR said.

MIR'S POV

I gave some orange juice to Billy, and he ate it through his hair. I had finished the first glass, and had poured another.

"Okay, that's enough Billy! My turn!" I picked up the glass, and drank it down, belching loud enough to wake the dead when I was down. "Tootsie pops, I was trying to get it bigger!" I growled, sadly. "Gary would have been happy!"

"Gary? Who's that?" Dib said, tiredly from the sofa in front of me.

"THE Gary Oak. Only the FUNNEST RIVAL EVA!" I turned red, (Literally) thinking of the rival of Ash's. Amy hated most of his guts, she had some respect for him as he was Blue's counterpart and Blue was AWSEOME. I looked down, seeing my feet had melted. I need to stop being a moron.

Oh yeah, freaks.

Lucid stupidity FTW.

I giggled, and poured what was little let of the juice onto my feet, and they returned to normal. I had to watch it when I thought of things like that. I HURPED.

"DERP!" I said, cheerfully, picking up Billy and drinking him, the taste of his drink and brain juice mixing together into a wondrous yummyness of FOOD. "I HERP DERPED. LIKE A BOSS!"

Waddling to the door, and drinking brain-juice was making me itch to get out. Dib jumped up. "Wait! You can't-"

"DIB!" Zim shouted, and crashed through the roof.

"What-Zim-why-you could have taken the door!" Dib cried.

"SILENCE!"

I opened the door and slipped out, deciding to switch on my rockets. They turned on quicker then I thought, and I blasted off, smashing a hole in the store.

"HEY-A! MY MEMORIZZARE! MAMA WILL-A BE MAD-A AT ME-A! GET-A THE-A PASTA, PEACH-A!" The storeowner shouted at his wife.

I flew along through the houses, whistling cheerfully while drinking Billy's brain juice. SUCH DELICIOUS BRAIN JUICE.

I flew into a duck, who squawked angrily.

"OH, IS THAT SO?" I turned my head. "WELL, I HAVE A FROG!" I pulled my frog out and shook it dangerously at the duck.

"ЭЙ! Its the little отродье!" Another duck flew by.

SOVIET DUCK! MUST RUN!

I started running as fast I as I could, and looked down, remembering I was flying. I flew away, throwing my frog. I had already checked to see if he was a prince.

It was unpleasant.

Yet strangly satisfying.

No one's POV

Molly sighed, as she turned the page of DOGS UNITED. Amy was still zonked out, and every once in the while she would shout nonsense.

"MONKEY FARTS!"

"INSTERT AD HERE!"

"ONE: EDWARD WAS A VAMPIRE. TWO, ONE PART, I DONT HOW DOMINENT THAT PART WAS, LONGED FOR MY BLOOD. AND THREE, I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM."

Just look at that! JUST LOOK AT THAT! Such absurdity! It was so annoying!

Molly groaned. "Okay, Plan B." She threw her magazine at Amy. It bounced off and landed on the floor. Molly stared at the magazine. "NOT DOGS UNITED!"

As the robot stepped on her Mistress, Amy's body jerked and she jumped off. Molly poked Amy. She woke up.

"CAN'T BREATHE! AIR! NEED! AIR!" Amy's hand flailed around, her injured one staying by her side. "NEED THE AIRNESS! AIR! AIR!"

Molly freaked out and ran around the lab, trying to find something.

"I NEED MOUTH-TO-PAK RE-SOMETHINGORANOUTHER!" Amy panted.

Molly jumped and tried it, blowing on the PAK.

"I'll die happy knowing you fell for that." Amy had a look of mischief on her face. She spit out a crap-load of green stuff. "Well. Something is wrong with me."

"IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG TO FIGURE THAT OUT?" Molly screamed.

Meanwhile…

Leela waited on the roof for Zim to return with the robot. GIR was on the second verse of the doom song, and she was starting to go a little mad.

"MY GOD!" She screamed. "WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY BEFORE I GRAB YOUR TONGUE AND RIP IT OUT!"

GIR just raised his voice, oblivious to her screams. Leela narrowed her eyes, even the broken one.

"HIYA!" She kicked GIR away, who rolled off the roof. Leela peeked over the edge and smiled as she saw the robot face-down.

"I LIKE DOOKIE!" His muffled voice shouted.

She kicked the chimney at him, getting ready to rip her wires out of anger.

"WHERE IS THAT ANNOYING FEMALE ROBOT?" Zim shouted below. Leela bent down and watched the Irken and the human fighting. And the front door open.

"WHY ARE YOU A MORON?" She shouted. "SHE'S GONE!"

Zim glanced up, and threw his pillow at Dib. He used his spider legs to climb up, waving evilly to a confused Dib.

"I HATE YOU." Dib shouted.

"You and me both." Leela said quietly. She grabbed GIR by his foot and dragged him along.

"YAY! IT BURNS!" GIR laughed.

"Shut up." Leela said.

"YES, SISTER!"

MIR's POV.

I flew along happily, calling Minimoose. "WHERE ARE YOU, FOR HEAVENS HAKE?"

"MEEP!" I suddenly heard, and followed it. THERE! IN THE LANDFILL-HOLY CIRCUTS!

I flew fast, trying to reach him before the crusher destroyed him. "I bait I can reach him..."

To late.

His remains flew out. I thought he was made of better things…oh well.

"MOOSIE! WHYYY!" I held his remains. "WHY? YOU WERE SO PURPLLLLLE! WHY MINIMOOSE! WHYHYHYHY! THIS CANNOT BE! GOD, IF THIS IS WRONG, LET MINNOW! IT HAS TO BE! I'VE HADDOCK ENOUGH OF DEATH!"

I lifted my fists up. "PLEASE!

"Meep?" I looked over to see Minimoose floating next to me.

"HOLY CIRCUTS!" I screamed, jumping up. I look down at the ground to see a purple eggplant lying smooshed in the spot I thought Minimoose was. "Want some? It looks good, considering the plaice it is in."

"Squeak!" He nods, and I give him some, and ate some myself. "Meep!"

"Your whelkome."

He bounced in the air.

"Sleep floating again? Water you gonna do next, Minimoose?"

He nods gravely.

"Lets go home now." I noticed my fuel was low. "Oh my cod!" I cried.

"Meep!" He floated around.

"No, remember what happened last time we tried that? Those poor, poor toilets….some of them are still in therapy." I sighed sadly, then did a thinker pose.

A mouse ran in front of me.

"CLAMSCRAY!"

It ran off, and I jumped up, triumphant.

"AFTER A WHALE I FINALLY GOT IT!"

"Squeak?"

"Don't you know me at all?" I smiled, and put on my shades. "We drive. And not just for the halibut."

"I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!" I sang. "Hey, pretty sweet turbot charged engine, right?"

No ones POV

Leela was getting sick and tired of this. They had been searching for an hour now, at night, in the cold! GIR was happily behind her, being dragged. Leela let go, and somehow he kept on dragging himself. She cringed and sped up.

"Zim thinks its time to go inside." The Irken shivered.

"Agreed." Leela sighed.

The trio headed for Zim's house, and GIR smiled happily, flying towards it with Leela hanging on for her life. They smashed into the door. Leela groaned as Zim pushed the door into the wall, smushing her and GIR together. Leela noticed across the street, a red car was parked. Into a mailbox. And it had rocket engines.

"Computer, elevator. NOW." Zim barked, taking off his disguise. An elevator appeared, the three stepped into it.

As they went down, GIR was standing by the door quivering with joy. Leela jumped out when it stopped. The Irken marched proudly in.

"We could not locate your robot, so-"

"HAIII!"

"WHA-WHAT?" Zim jumped.

Leela smacked her face as the small SIR waved wildly at them from Amy's lap. Minimoose was flying around the female's head.

"WANNA DRINK BILLY'S BRAIN JUICE?" MIR asked.

"Um…sure." Amy flicked the top off the ketchup, and poured some in her mouth. Zim burst out laughing as she spit it out in disgust.

"MIR! I HATE ORANGE AND KETCHUP SAUCE!" Amy spit some more. "Dear lord, that was awful. Wait. _Leela?_"

Leela saluted. "Reporting for duty, Mistress!"

"What…how…WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?"

"I've come to help! And I hope to be a good helper to you!" Leela said.

Amy pointed at herself. "Me? Need help? NAWWWWW."

Molly glanced up from her magazine. "You were knocked out like a drunken hobo for an hour. You call that responsible?"

Amy made strangling motions with her hands. "My hands say otherwise."

"Your hands are green and with three fingers."

Amy looked down. "QUIT KILLING MAH FIRE!" She shook her fist. "My. Fire. OWNS."

"Owns what, author?" Zim lifted a finger. He had started calling her that ever since the big clothes blow-up, and it bugged her.

"Your mama." Amy grunted, and held MIR upside down. She shook the small robot, and all sorts of things tumbled out of her head. Amy lifted up a book. "The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy?"

MIR coughed, nervously.

"Where you planning something?" Amy hissed.

"BLAME THE NEAREST LIVING THINGS!" MIR shouted, pointing at Zim. "FOURTY-TWO! TIME TRAVEL! TOWEL!"

Amy groaned and covered her hands with her face. "I said to stay out of this book, it gives you ideas."

"BLAH BLAH BLAH LIFE SUCKS IM SO EMO."

Amy whapped MIR on the back of the head, sending her into the other Irken nearby.

"I'M TIRED, SO SHUT YO' FACES!" She shouted, and fell over backwards, and immediately started drooling. Zim poked her with his boot.

Molly pulled down the magazine, eyeing her friend. "Grumpy much?"

Leela tsked. "PMS, PMS."

"I LOVE A VAMPIRE!" MIR shouted. Everyone stopped and stared at her. "And he glooows."

"Moving on..." Leela coughed. "Anyway, so did Amy do anything reckless recently, that would cause her to be so tired?"

"She saved some people. Making a huge deal about it, being all BLAH BLAH I'M A HUGE HERO BLAH BLAH. I swear, her ego is the size of a POTATO SALAD." Molly pulled Leela closer, shaking her fist. "A POTATO SALAD."

Leela backed away. "Okay..."

"EVERYONE OUT!" Zim shouted. "I HAVE MUCH WORK TO DO! AND ITS GOING TO BE AMAZING! BECAUSE ITS ME!"

Leela rolled her eye. "Man, all what we need is for Amy to make a Bender. THEN HE COULD HAVE AN EGO PARTY. FRIED EGO'S, ANYONE?"

Molly grabbed Leela's hair and dragged her out, MIR and GIR skipping after.

"C'mon purple brain. Let's go do woman things." Molly said.

MIR's POV

"OH MAH GOD THIS IS SO MUCH FUN."

"AH KNOW RIGHT?"

I scowled slightly, listening to the ladies. PSHHHHAH.

I pulled the magic green computer closer, and grinned, as a bit of drool slid down my face. GIR was lying on top of me, half-asleep and drooling.

I clacked hard, copy and pasting like a war god.

**CHARACTER PROFILES**

**Amy here.**

**Okay.**

**Um.**

**I'm bored.**

**So.**

**So yeah.**

**Here.**

I copied the next paragraph, scowling at the hardness of it all.

**Leela-**

**She acts like a grown woman most of the time, and loves romance stories. She is taller then a normal SIR, and is pretty tall, about four feet tall. She has almost the same personality as her real counterpart, and knows THE MOST EPIC KARATE MOVES. She gets ticked easily, and is always trying to get Amy to be more girly. Her long metal ponytail makes her super-smart, and she often looks down at others. She is a bit snobby, and is always shouting at GIR or MIR. Or minimoose. Or Zim. Or anyone. **

**She is also sarcastic, and likes to look good, like any sane woman. (I guess Amy's not sane.) She loves animals, to the point of risking her friend's lives for them. She is sensitive about her eyes, and will kick anyone who talks about them badly. She will help her friends, always, (except when animals are involved) and likes to read Playbot magazines, looking for the perfect guy.**

**COUGH COUGH RED HAIRED IDIOT BOT COUGH COUGH**

**She REALLY likes her namesake, and REALLY hates anything that looks like a lobster. Or crab. **

**Did I mention she loves animals?**

**GIR calls her his sister, because he is GIR and can do anything.**

I licked the screen, and then pasted the next thing.

Man, this guy tastes good.

**Molly-**

**She is goofy, and can be hyper. She is very sarcastic, and often just glares at people as if they are totally dumb and not worth her time. She is mostly a tomboy, but loves dog fashion magazines.**

**She and Amy have a sort of Alpha's Mate relationship. (Meaning, Molly knows Amy is right above her, but Milly and Jacob are below.) Amy has known Molly since she was young, and Molly is like a sister or cousin to her.**

**She loves meat and dog treats, and is usually the one to correct Amy when Amy is being stupid. She is the main caretaker of MIR, GIR, and Minimoose, and is very grumpy with them most of the time. She will bark randomly, and often start running around like a moron on drugs and tackle things. She knows a lot of tricks.**

No ones POV.

Minimoose bumped the two stupidbots, and shrugged as they snored loudly, namely GIR. He tapped the keyboard with his foot a few times, and pasted the next thing for the female who could speak to him about tea and not shout at him.

**MIR-**

**She is hyperactive, and mainly a big tomboy. She has a high-pitched girly voice, which can be raised to ear-splitting screams if needed. She is about half GIR's size, and since GIR is about, ehhh, three feet tall, she is something over a foot tall. Her eyes are pink and her other lights are electric blue, and she LOVES the band Aqua. She plays it all the time to annoy anyone around, because Amy REALLY hates Aqua. She is grotesque, and eats gross things. She can speak Italian, and is actually hyper smart. She just lacks a LOT of common sense, and prefers to be blunt when speaking. She sometimes uses fish puns randomly. MIR can put up a good fight, or temper tantrum, and is often seen playing games with GIR, or doing stupid things with GIR. **

**She likes GIR.**

**And ketchup.**

**And a long list of foods.**

**She can be really sweet when she wants to, and is often the one to explain Amy's antics.**

Molly blinked as she stared at the pile of sleeping idiots. She picked up the strange computer and clacked on it for a moment, completing the final job. It disappeared, spewing glitter in her face. She spat out the pink shiny plastic.

**Amy-**

**A wild and fierce tomboy, Amy does what she wants, and it is almost always dumb. She lives on being random and making people laugh. Her younger non-identical twin is more girly, and is OCD about everything, so she knows how to deal with OCD things. It involves pancakes and Cheerios. She LOVES cartoons, and loves dreaming up ideas about them. She has long since grown out her crush and is now all-boyish at the moment. She has dishwater blond hair, in a messy pixie cut that covers her left eye. Her eyes are a green-blue-gray, and she is very short for her age. She is very violent, and has schizophrenic tendencies. Her ego is the size of the moon, and she will often try to do things that she can't, pushing herself to the point of danger. She hates skirts and dresses and pink, (light pink, fushia's cool) and is almost always wearing soccer shorts, cargo pants, or sweats with a t-shirt. She hates to give up and say she is beat, and is terrified of thunder and lightning. She is in her early teens, and not yet old enough to drive but can sort of drive a go-cart. She is a loyal and cheerful friend, but often has dark, creepy thoughts that involve hurting people that she hates. She loves video games and being mistaken as a boy. She can be extremely capricious and cynical, and very, very, VERY, grumpy. Her brain is often working so fast her thoughts change before she speaks, so she changes the subject really, really, really quickly when talking. She often thinks to fast for her own good. She has little to no common sense, and is often doing incredibly stupid things. She swears a LOT, and uses vivid words that leave people confused often.**

WARNING.

MILD SWEARING SHALL NOW BE SHOWN.

BEWARE.

NOTHING TOO BAD, THOUGH.

CAW CAW CAW

Amy twitched at the sound of the morning crow squawking its head off in the glorious throws of morning, gasses flying around its face.

She wiped the spit off her face, making a mental note to fix that later and stop sleeping with her mouth open. The room was quiet, and bright. She realized slowly she was in the living room, and GIR was sleeping on her head.

Drooling.

All.

Over.

It.

She plucked the robot off her head, and dropped him on the ground, and picked up a pillow, shoving it on her head.

"AHHH! I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR THE PUTRID FIELD TRIP!"

Amy opened her mouth, but closed it, deciding against speaking.

Zim rushed past her, flinging her back. She sat still as he blazed around the house.

"Might I ask as to what the HECK ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?"

"CAMERA! NEED! TO! RESEARCH!"

"There's one in your mushroom bag, idiot."

Zim glanced behind him as his PAK let out a tiny camera. "I KNEW THAT!"

Amy rolled her eyes. "So I take it I'm staying here? WOE IS ME. I'm a wife." She buried her face in the pillow. _" Crud ."_

"What?"

"NOTHING." Amy grunted, and peeled the pillow away. "Why dontcha go. I'll...be here." A wicked grin spread across her face, as plans ran through her brain.

"Of course I'm leaving, worm-brain!" Zim scoffed. "Also, I added some safety measures."

As he stepped outside, the whole house went on lockdown, steel clanging down in front of the walls.

Amy tumbled backwards, staring at the wall in rage. "HEY!"

"Uh...I CANT HEAR YOU! La la la la!"

"I'LL KILL YOU WITH YOUR OWN DONG WHEN YOU GET BACK, YOU HEAR? I WILL CHOKE YOU WITH IT, AND STUFF IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! YOU! WILL! PAY!"

Zim hurried along, trying to block out the bloody threats.

Irk, that girl scared him.

Amy kicked the wall, and then grabbed her foot, her eyes watering. "MOTHER OF JESUS AND ALL OF NAZARETH!"

"Um...I told you so?" Computer timidly said.

"You never said a thing!"

"I was thinking it. Besides, you have been through this before. How can you NOT expect it to hurt?"

"Because."

"...What?"

"Because...I'M AWESOME!"

"...Uh-huh..."

"So, are yous gonna open up these steel walls for your little paaal?"

Computer sighed. "I can't. It's not in my programming. I'm not going to stop you though."

Leela walked inside the living room. "STEEL WALLS! STEEL WALLS EVERYWHERE! Oh. You knew."

Amy rolled her eyes, and tapped the wall with her claws. "Solid steel."

"MASTAAAAAAA!"

"Oh dear god." Amy sighed, as MIR called from outside. Leela covered her mouth.

"He locked little idiot outside? Oh, this is GREAT!" She laughed, slapping her knee.

"You, shove a sock in it. You," She pointed at a pillow. "Sergeant Pillow, your commander commands you to blast open the wall with your LAZERS." As her echoing voice faded away, the pillow did not move. "Okay, I know you are sore about the loss of your wife, Pillow. BUT YOU MUST DO THIS, FOR THE WINNING OF THE WAR DEMANDS IT."

"Amy-" Leela raised a finger.

"DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK, PETTY OFFICER?" Amy shouted, and faced the pillow. GIR had awoken and was glancing around, and as Molly walked in he tackled her, giggling.

Minimoose watched from the rafters.

Amy started imaging a battlefield full off bushes.

"The bushkind are barricading themselves behind that wall, Sergeant! I have my weapon," She held up a tennis racket, "So we need you to open it! MY DAUGHTER IS BEING HELD CAPTIVE, #!*% !'

To Leela's surprise, the pillow flew in the air, and melted a hole in the metal.

"What...how...the...buh...buh...buhbuhbuh...huh..."

Molly clapped on her the back. "Sorry, sister, that's what it's like when you're living with him!" She pointed at Amy.

"Him?"

"I mean her." Molly cleared her throat. "Medical conditions are not the matter right now!"

Amy leapt on a bush and started whacking it violently with her racket.

"WHERES MAH MONEY, FOOL?"

MIR was giggling, her arms full of acorns. "Beat George Bush! Beat the bush!"

Leela shuddered as turned away. "My god. My creator is an utter MORON."

"Don't say that!" Molly jumped in the air. "She's...spastic." She leapt onto Amy's shoulder, and held on tight as the bush was reduced to a pile of leaves.

Minimoose flew next to MIR, as she shoved the acorns in her chest compartment.

"MIR! Stop shoving nuts in your carapace and get your butt over here!" Amy called.

"Uh. Where are you going, without a disguise?"

Amy blinked and turned at the computers voice. "Uh. I never thought about that. MIR, equip disguises!"

MIR pulled out contacts and a wig and flung them at Amy. She cracked her knuckles, and froze. "Oh. Yeah. Dog disguises." She dug through her PAK and pulled out the green suit, black and white suit, and black suit.

Molly, MIR, and GIR put on the disguises. Amy glanced at Leela.

"Yeah, no thanks-"

Leela was shoved into a bunny costume. She looked up at her ears and down at her tail. "...WEEEE!"

Those walking in town that day swore they saw some sick kid with a bunch of animals following him, or her, they were never really sure, and who totally creeped the living crap out of them.

"NO!" Amy shouted. "I WILL NOT TAKE YOU TO THE MALL!"

Leela's bottom lip trembled. "B-buh but buh...WAAAAAAH!"

"Control your hare, young man!" An elderly woman walked by, dropping her lipstick as she tried to put it away.

Amy sighed, and picked up Leela. She ruefully walked into a mall, and Leela perked up, and started running to a store so fast the leash around her neck nearly pulled Amy's wrist off. Amy dug her heels in the stone floor, dents forming. It was Woman against Hoyden. (Which, FWI, means tomboy. Look it up. In the web dictionary. Because those rock. And because that's where I found the word.)

Leela snapped back, flying into Molly, who barked in surprise.

Amy picked up Leela's scruff. "Listen here, bunny girl, I make the calls around here. We go into TWO stores, and one only because I need to steal money."

Leela looked distraught. "STEAL?"

"Hey, watching TV teaches you things." Amy winked.

Amy flipped through the wallet, tsking his many photos. "Maaaan, this guy got lucky. He's got a ton of kids."

Leela rolled her eyes and glanced behind at the man who was now beat up in a closet. A shiver crept up her back, and she turned around to see a brown-haired kid in glasses glaring at her intently. She ran up against Amy, trying to get that look out of her eyes.

"Okay, Leela. We go to ONE store." Amy hopped in an elevator. A man in it stared at her, and scratched his butt. Amy eyed his turkey costume and cleared her throat, awkwardly.

Leela covered her eyes in horror as the men's clothing store came into view. "Oh my lord...so many men underwear..."

"Don't go crazy, now." Amy taunted. "Besides, what would a robot do with clothes?"

Leela looked away, pouting.

MIR ran ahead, and skidded into the store, yanking the Irken with her.

"Hee hee hee! IMMA BE A FASHION DESIGNER!"

Amy glanced down at the sweatpants, and jersey. "No."

Huge jeans, shades, and shirt with bad words. "No."

Footie pajamas. "Much as I love footies, no."

Men's leotard. Amy refused to leave the changing room.

MIR sighed in defeat, and started bawling.

"Noooooo! The monkeys still love you, don't worry!" GIR hugged her.

MIR blinked as she noticed a store across the hall. The sign read EVERYTHING SINCE BENDY STRAWS WERE INVENTED.

Leela squealed in ecstasy, and had a full blown freak out.

Amy pulled her shirt down when she heard something that sounded like a flock of crows being boiled alive.

She stood still for a moment.

And bolted out the door.

"MIR! LEELA! MOLLY! GIR! MINIMOOSE!" She called, holding the broken bit of leash in her hand.

Across the hall, she heard screams, and put two and two again.

"LEELA!"

Amy pushed open the door. Pillows flew in the air. Feathers filled her vision, and she shoved them away.

"Clean up in aisle five. Clean up in aisle twelve. Clean up in aisle two. Clean up in aisle FOREVER." The speaking robot exploded, next to her. Amy coughed, and grabbed the microphone.

"Attention, store humans. This is a drill, in case any real rapid animals attack. Please exit the store in an orderly-"

People whooshed past her, and when they were all gone her hair was blown back.

"Fashion."

The store was completely silent.

"Animals, please report to the front desk."

The storeowner ran up and shook the females hand.

"Oh, thank yous so much, son!" The man spoke with a New York Accent. "Yous saved my store!"

"Yeah, yeah." Amy growled. "Reward?" A greedy glint shone in her eyes.

"Oh, yes, yes, here!" He dumped a box of metal parts in front of her. "De computer section and robotics section were destroyed! Yous can have da parts, yous look like a smart lad."

Amy clutched the box, and walked out of the store. She whistled, and Leela appeared, dragging MIR and GIR out. Molly pushed GIR, and Leela pulled MIR. Both of the idiots were crying about nacho's.

The alien glared at the purple-haired robot crossly, and she gulped.

"BLAME THE DOG!" Leela shouted, pointing at Molly.

"Say what."

Amy picked up the green dog and white and black dog. "C'mon, guys. Let's go EAT PASTA!"

Leela looked in the box of parts. "What are you gonna do with these?"

"Dunno. With my new Irken brain, I could probably build something to DESTROY THE EARTH!" She cackled. "Or, you know, a snowcone machine. Those rock."

MIR licked the meatball, thoughtfully. Amy prodded her plain pasta; it was the only kind that was not painful. (Plus she was Italian, she usually only eats it plain anyway.)

GIR and MIR were sharing spaghetti, Molly had ravioli and Leela had pastrami. Minimoose could eat ANYTHING.

The WORLD was his OYSTER.

Amy looked up as she heard a bus screech nearby. They were at a farm, where the farmer and his wife had a pasta shop. She suddenly started choking.

Molly thwacked her on the back, and Leela whistled in amusement.

"You are so busted."

Amy coughed up a nut, and stared at it before flicking it away with her thumb and forefinger. "Oh GOD, who knew they were having a FIELDTRIP to the FARM?"

Skool bus. Minimoose turned and started squeaking an elaborate escape plan to GIR, but GIR was to busy eating to hear him.

Amy glanced around quickly, and grabbed a random hat. It was pink and hideous, but she shoved it on her head.

"ACT NATURAL!"

Amy hunched over, and shoved a forkful of pasta in her mouth. MIR banged on the table, widely, and Leela started humming.

Loudly.

Molly facepalmed with both hands. "She means-"

"HELLO MAH STUDENTS!"

" DYAMM. The. World." Amy hissed.

The farmer grinned at the students, all but two looking excited.

Zim paid close attention to the farm-human, taking pictures of everything.

"Welcome to mah old farm, and pasta shop! Dontcha be botherin' the customers, ya hear? Hehehe! Dere's only some boy 'nd his pets dere."

Zim cast a glance quickly, reflexively, but turned his attention away.

Wait.

Was that...?

He turned back, but the table was empty except for a rabbit-creature who shoved food in its mouth, humming madly. A chair was spinning.

Zim shrugged and continued his research.

Dib glared at Zim, as always, and glanced at the tables. Only a weird rabbit.

Wait.

Weird rabbit...?

He snuck away slowly from the class.

Amy still was shoving pasta in her mouth as she hid behind the farm. Leela was doing pathetically, but it would fool any of these humans. And Zim. Amy froze as a trench-coat wearing kid stepped next to Leela. Leela caught Amy's eyes, and Amy mouthed EAT LIKE THE DEVIL.

Leela started wolfing down food faster then she ever thought possible, and soon MIR and GIR lost control, and Amy had to shove some of her pasta in their mouths.

Dib examined the rabbit. It was soft, and white, and had a little purple tinge to its fur.

And it had a ponytail.

The rabbit seemed nervous of him, and suddenly leaped in the air and ran off.

"HEY! Come back!" Dib shouted, and heard footsteps. Someone was running away.

"DIB! GET BACK IN THE GROUP!" Ms. Bitter's dry voice called for him, so he turned and walked back.

Amy breathed a sigh of relief, but suddenly saw something on the field.

_Cows._

She almost cried out in joy as she raced toward the majestic creatures. One large brown cow lumbered over and sniffed her, dully.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod." She squeed, and hugged the cow.

Leela watched, and facepalmed.

"C'mon, we have to go!" She told Amy.

"Yeah, yeah." Amy nodded. She picked up MIR and GIR, and Minimoose floated next to her. Molly got on all fours.

They raced away from the farm.

Amy swung on the swing in the playground, remembering how she was younger she would imagine she would fly off the swingset into the air, and through the clouds and the sky...

She got herself going pretty high, and grabbed a leaf off a tree branch as she passed it.

MIR and GIR laughed as Molly spun them on the merry-go-round, and Leela sat calmly on a bench, watching nature, and being all boring.

Amy felt the wind rush past her, and wished once again she were back in her old form. She heard the squeal of wheels on concrete, and looked up.

"MOTHER OF SHI-"

Leela squealed, and pointed at a squirrel.

"Molly, get MIR and GIR!" Amy called, and grabbed Minimoose from the swing next to her. She was still in midair, and prepares to leap off as the kids filed off the bus. "Leela!" She called.

Leela ignored her, giving the squirrel a hug.

Amy made a sound like air escaping like a balloon. "LEELA!"

"SHHSHHHSSSH!" Leela shushed her. "You'll scare the squirrel!"

Amy jumped off the swing, the sand blowing out behind her as she dug her heels into the sand. MIR tugged her shirt.

"Masta, the ice cream guy gave us these!" She held out fudge pops. Molly and GIR were licking some already. An ice cream bus drove away, playing its music.

Amy glanced at the bus, and threw her hands up, dropping Minimoose. "Yay!"

Zim grumbled to himself as the bush stopped. This was the other field trip, and it was bound to be boring. The grub children ran out, excited, for some reason. What was so exciting about life-threatening equipment?

Dib stuck his leg out to trip Zim as he walked by, and jumped over the alien and out the door.

Dib smelt the fresh air. Ahh...Earth. He heard something laughing, and could see across the playground the rabbit from before.

And.

Was that...?

Dib broke into a run, but stopped and straightened his coat before running his hands through his hair, brushing it crudely. He heard the Irken's furious yell moments after he started running again.

"AUTHOOOR!"

Dib slid to a stop in front of Amy, who was licking the chocolate ice cream.

Zim, who was faster, slid to a stop and shoved Dib aside.

Amy looked at both of them. "Hi." She held up her hand casually.

"WHAT are you doing here?" He snapped. "Better yet, HOW did you get out?"

"War. Pillows. Bushes. You wouldn't understand."

"There we were, surrounded by bushkind, and I was captured, and PILLOW DID IT!" MIR squealed.

"YAY FOR COMMANDER!" GIR shouted. He sucked on his ice cream.

"I don't even know how they did it." Leela looked up.

"Who are YOU?" Dib asked, staring at the bunny. Leela looked straight at him.

"Leela, meet Dib. And vice versa, vice versa, oui oui, French French, done." Amy announced. "Either way I had fun today. Except SOMEONE went crazy at the mall and NEARLY made me blow my cover-"

"PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT." Leela grumbled. "I said I was SORRY, okay?"

"Did you like the farm?" Molly asked, and then slapped a hand over her mouth. Amy gave her a fierce look.

"You. Were At. THE COWBEASTPLACE?"

"Ehh. More or less." Amy waved her hand. "Pasta was good."

She continued to meet Zim's angry glare with an aloof one until he started freaking out.

She ignored him and continued eating her ice cream.

"You know, why are we eating this in winter?" Leela shivered

"Good point, don't care." Amy shrugged.

"What was he talking about? Did he lock you up or something?" Dib asked.

"More or less."

"More like steel walls." Molly piped up.

"EVERYWHERE." Leela added.

"And how did you get out of STEEL?" Dib was startled.

"Greater men then you have tried to figure it out." Leela muttered.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Zim shouted, finishing his rant.

Amy blinked. "Um...you are a huge potato head, I'm more then capable of taking care of myself and not blowing your cover, you will let me leave whenever I want, because your potato head needs alone time to do potato things, and also you will stop bugging me about things, with your french-fry brain?"

Zim banged his head on a tree out of infuriation.

"Um, Amy, I think I know Zim better, and you better not mess with him..." Dib glanced anxiously at the alien. "He might actually hurt you..."

"Dib, I could hurt him."

"Not right now." Molly said. "Remember, Amy, I'm not letting you get too active. You were poisoned, and your powers are pretty much gone right now. Don't strain yourself."

"You know what? FINE!" Amy stood up. "But only to show you I'm FINE!" She finished off the ice cream.

She walked over to a car and stuck her hands under it. (Her shoulder was pretty much healed by now) With a grunt, she lifted it over her head. She gave the group a smirk, and then her arms shook as the green left her face.

The car dropped.

Mouths dropped open in gasps.

Leela held the car above Amy, who was twitching a bit. "OWWW! MY ARMS ARE ON FIRE!"

Leela put the car down, nearby. "Thank your lucky stars I was here." She dusted her hands off.

"JESUS'S CRAP!" Amy shouted. She sat up, her arms hanging by her sides. "I don't get it. I've always been able to do that..."

Molly sniffed her. "You don't seem to be poisoned. Whatever the reason, I doubt you'll be able to lift anything heavier then a stapler for the rest of the day."

Thoughts whirled in Amy's mind.

"Oh. God. If I lose everything...I become mortal."

Fear gripped her. "OH GOD I WONT BE A GOD! A GOOOD!" She shook Molly. "A GOOOOD!" She was in hysterics by now.

"Excuse me?" Dib asked.

"Apparently, from something she told me that only my PAK registered, her kind only die if they are killed by someone evil, or from a serious disease." Zim said after a moment.

"YES!" Amy cried. "THATS WHY I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL! SICKNESS RUNS IN MY FAMLY OHMYGODIMGONNADIE!"

"Um...aren't your powers like your blood?" Molly asked. "You need them to survive?"

"Not really." Amy grunted, face down in the dirt. "I would just kill myself because that would suck."

MIR poked Amy. "Hey, lets go to a party!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Por favor?"

"No."

"Pika Pika?"

"No."

"Woo-"

"SHUT UP."

Amy was in a hyper-depressed state. "NOOOO! I'M GONNA BE STUCK IN THIS LAME WORLD FOREVER-no offense-"

"None taken." Dib said.

"WITHOUT EVER GETTING MY EARS BACK!"

She smashed her face in the dirt. "I loved those ears..."

"Proving my point here..." Zim cleared his throat. Suddenly, an idea struck him and one of his grins spread across his face. Dib backed away next to Amy.

"Uh...I think you should run..." He whispered.

Amy shouted something at Zim that children's ears should not hear.

Dib covered his ears, wincing.

"Uh...hey, Zim, we still have to go back to skool! You can't go home yet!" He said, quickly.

Zim muttered something and crossed his arms.

Amy now started shouting a stream of insults at God.

MIR glanced around, and felt a prickling sensation. She turned, and saw a brown haired boy looking their way. He turned his acid-green eyes away, but he still gave MIR the shivers.

"AND I HOPE MARY WAS A GREAT ONE NIGHT STAND FOR YOU!" Amy shouted.

"Um...maybe you shouldn't do that, this is public..." Dib whimpered.

Amy gave him a rude gesture and continued her sulk.

"Ummm...biggy..." MIR tugged on Dib's coat, Leela behind her. "Who's dat guy?" She pointed at the brown haired boy.

"Yeah." Leela nodded.

"Him? That's Tyson Hellion. He's a new student, arrived right before we left."

Leela shuddered as his acid eyes fixed on her. "Does he...creep you out?"

"No, he's British, they never weird me out."

Amy was frozen. She sat up, and spat out some dirt. "New kid, you say? I'm always one to jump to conclusions..." She stood up, and to her surprise the kid walked over.

"Hmph. I expected more." He muttered.

"What? I'm older then you, punk!"

"In what measurement, ALIEN?"

Amy's body went numb as she stared at those acid eyes.

"MY MEASUREMENT." She spat. "I'm watching you." She hissed, glaring at him with intense hatred. "C'mon, minions."

The animal group followed her, cautiously.

MIR glanced at him, and regretted it.

GIR glanced at her.

"Does the dookie-boy bug Mirlly?"

"Yes. Yes he does."

MIR stared straight ahead.

Amy glared at the ground. She knew when two and two went together, and right now two and two were LOVING EACH OTHER SO HARD.

Her kind knew when they met another, but she just felt bad when she looked at that boy. Her insides turned, and her head pounded. He MUST have something to do with this.

But probably not much.

He was weak.

Her gaze traveled up to the sky, and she found herself stopping and staring at the sky.

The sun shone bright, and she stared at a cloud, that was forming into the shape of a circle.

_Its a sun, _She thought bitterly. _A stupid sun. Whoop-dee-doo, I'm screwed._

_Jesus has #!*% to pay, up there in Valhalla. Or, you know, whatever. I guess he's transdimensional. _

**OHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAH.**

**WHOOOOOS THIS KID.**

**I BET YOU WISH YOU KNEW.**

**Next chapter soon, I PROMISE! **

**But cut me some slack. **

**I'm sorry about the hiatus, I just needed a break from , but I'm back now! AND BADDER THEN EVER.**

**Who's this kid? What's with the eyes? Why does MIR dislike him? Will Dib ever catch a break with Amy? What will Zim do as revenge against her? What will Leela wear tomorrow? What will Molly eat next? **

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME.**

**OR JUST KILL YOURSELF.**

**WHICHEVER COMES FIRST.**

**BUT DONT KILL ME**

**I added lots of little mini-stories after this so you will be content and let me live for a few more weeks!**

**~Commander Amy, signing off!**

**WELCOME TO MINI ADVENTURES**

**Amy:...meh.**

**MIR: I GOTS ME A MONKEY!**

**Molly: MIR...that's a potato.**

**MIR: NUUUUUUUU!**

**Amy: Anyone seen Lee-lee?**

**MIR: Whut?**

**Molly: What did you just call her?**

**Amy: Lee-lee. It means tomato in an alien language.**

**Computer: Zim wanted to know if you were going crazy yet. I mean, you are in a confined room.**

**Amy: Tell him to hurry up and find out how to get this door open. Oh, and- (gives the computer a rude gesture) **

**Computer: What was that.**

**Amy: It means go get laid or leave me alone, turdbrain.**

**MIR: WAH! **

**Molly: THE BONES ARE TELLING ME TO KILL YOU.**

**Amy: Oh, joy. A psychopathic dog, a brain-dead robot and five gallons of milk. (looks down, chin in hand. Molly is sitting on the ceiling with MIR in a room the size of a closet.)**

**Molly: MUST OBEY THE BONES MILK MUST DIE. (grabs one of the five bottles of milk from the floor and bites the bottom, drinking it)**

**MIR: I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY POTATOS, WOLFIE!  
><strong>

**Computer: I'm really glad I'm not you right now. You must have a lot of patien-**

**Amy: (starts spazzing) IM GONNA DIE! EVERYONE KILL ME! THE WAFFLES ARE MY WIFE! MAH WIFE! DO NOT COME BETWEEN US!**

**Computer: Nevermind...**

**Leela: (outside) Uh...you do know that Zim left two hours ago to go and stalk a hobo, right?**

**Amy: (eye twitches) I've been stuck in this DAAAAAAAAAMN room...and he's been...**

**Leela: Um...and I think you weren't stuck in here by accident. The cheese told me.**

**Amy: Yeah, and how's his kids?**

**Leela: Doin' good...**

**Amy: Do me a favor, Leela. Open this room.**

**Computer: Oh no.**

**Amy: And bring me...the CROTCH-CRUSHER.**

**Leela: You mean that weird footstool that looks like a ballerina's legs?**

**Amy: Exactly. **

**Molly: BONEY SAYS I NEED TO MARRY YOU.**

**Computer: I should be afraid, shouldn't I.**

**Leela: Eeeyup.**

**Molly: KISS ME YOU FOOL**

**Zim: The dirty human eats out of a garbage disposal unit? Blech! Humans.**

**Amy: Heeeey.**

**Zim: UWHA! Uh...h-hey...Amy...**

**Amy: Wanna know what I've been doing for the last four hours? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, MR. APPLEBERRY BLAST?**

**Zim: Uh...I was searching for the key...opening...door...thingy...**

**Amy: Oh. Okay then. (turns around)**

**Zim: Thank Irk she bought it...**

**Amy: ~SEE YOU IN HELLL ~ (grins manically) **

**Zim: OH DEAR IRK SAVE ME (BANG)**

**Hobo: Aww...young love. (watches Amy whack Zim over and over with footstool)**

**Leela: I know, right?**

**Amy: (Trolololololol trolling)**

**Amy: Moral of story. (waits, and then turns to the side) DIB! ITS YOUR LINE!**

**Dib: S-sorry! Um...wait...s-sorry...what was it? (turns red)**

**Amy: (holds up bowling pin with numerous dents) ~Lee-lee?~**

**Leela: Awww, young love! You guys are so cute! LOVE IS SO CUTE! SQUEE!**

**Amy: (glances at Dib) wait what**

**Dib: (throws camera at Leela) SHUT UP BUNNY**

**Leela: I AM SUPERMAN**

**GIR: Ohhhh, whats dis?**

**MIR: Hee hee! Forget it, lets go watch monkeys!**

**GIR: Yay!**

**Molly: Um...lets just say eat healthy, and keep it PG?**

**Amy: NO! I NEED VIOLENCE! PG13 PG13 PG13-**

**Molly: Okay, who left the toaster on?**

**Amy: I'LL SAVE YOU TOASTY!**

**Dib: Wait. I'm in Zim's house. (Stalker mode activates)**

**Molly: You know, I doubt Amy would be a good girlfriend to anyone.**

**Leela: Don't let her hear, she'll assult you!**

**Molly: Um...actually, she'll assault YOU with pie.**

**Leela: Hee!**

**MIR: TWILIGHTS ON!**

**Leela: OUTTA DA WAY SUCKA**

**Molly: Alone.**

**Computer: At last?**

**Molly: No. Never. NEVER.**

**Computer: I'll add this to my files. Zim's failed attempt to secure Amy number 134.**

**Molly: 134? Really?**

**Computer: Its even more when it comes to waffles.**

**Molly: NO WAI.**

**Computer: YES WAI**

**Molly: NO WAI**

**Computer: YES WAI**

**Molly: NO WAI**

**Computer: YES WAI**

**Molly: NO WAI**

**Computer: YES WAI**

**Molly: NO WAI**

**Computer: YES WAI**

**Molly: THIS IS STUPID**

**Computer: WHAT IS MY LIFE**

**Minimoose: Meep Meep squeak meep meep squeak squeak squeak meep squeak squeaky meepa meep squeak sqeaka meep meep meep meep meep! (Master Zim's stuck outside with a lot of injuries! Help me get him inside, what happened to him? Also, I am actually a criminal mastermind! HAHAHA!)**

**Molly: No, Minimoose, you can have your tater tots later.**

**Minimoose: SQUEAK! (WHY! I'M TOO PRETTY FOR THIS!)**

**Molly: Was that sofa always alive? (sofa dances)**

**Computer: Only on Tuesdays.**

**Dib: (stalks Amy.)**

**Amy: (oblivious to stalking, tries to save toaster from death by leafed vegetable) I FAIL AT LIFE  
><strong>

**Computer: FML**

**MIR: LOL**

**GIR: ROFL**

**Minimoose: MMM**

**Robomom: BRB**

**Robodad: KK**

**Leela: OMG**

**Molly: SCREW THESE WORDS OF CONFUSION!**

**Molly: (GOT TIGER!)**

**Molly: WEEEEEE! (flys away)**

**Computer: Fill me in. Did the dog robot just fly away after grabbing a stuffed tiger, or do I have a virus?**

**Zim: (magically appears) Remind me to get rid of her oxygen privileges, Computer.**

**Computer: ABCDEFG YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE ROTTEN PEE**

**Zim: whut**

**Zim: DA**

**Zim: IRK**

**Zim: IS **

**Zim: MAH**

**Zim: LIFE**

**Amy: A bag of steaming turds. Your welcome.**

**Zim: NUUUUU**

**Amy: Derp-a derp-a derp-a**

**AND THEN THEY MADE OUT**

**~ Leela's ending**

**AND THEN THEY HAD A VERY IMMATURE SLAP FIGHT**

**~ Real ending**

**AND THEN EVERYONE HAD BABEHS AND I AM TEH QUEEN OF NAZARETH**

**~ MIR's ending**

**OH HEY A NEW UPDATE. WAITS. ITS OVER. (Shoots Amy) MORE! MORE! I KEEL YOU!**

**~ Reader ending**

**AND THEN ZIM STARTED SPARKLING AND AMY WAZ ALL I LUV YOU VAMPIRE BOY**

**AND THEY HAD BABEHS**

**AND LOVE**

**AND DEN AMY ALMOST DIED CAUSE OF DA BABY**

**AND NOW SHES SOO PRETTY**

**OH MAH GOD**

**WHAT NEXT**

**~ WTF ending**

**SCREW THIS WHY DO I KEEP ON DOING THIS BLUH BLUH THIS IS SO STUPID OH MY CHEETOS STOP THIS NOW BEFORE I KILL MYSELF**

**BLUH BLUH**

**BLUH BLUH**

**BLUH**

**Leela: Hello and welcome to Leela's ships! I've got the best quality ships right here! ON MAH SHIPPING WALL (points at a stone wall, standing in front of camera)**

**Amy: (from another room) LEELA! ITS LATE AND I'VE BEEN UP WRITING THIS (Leela omits words for younger viewers) ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED, AND I'M AS TIRED AS A...um...tired...something...BLUH. BE QUIET AND STAY OFF MY COMPUTER.**

**Leela: (grabs laptop from Amy's dad's room) Derp derp LETS BE BAD NOW. (turns on camera on computer) Okay, viewers, prepare to be amazed.**

**Leela: (yanks tarp off wall) LEELA'S SHIPS**

**Leela: HASS**

**Leela: MADE**

**Leela: CONTACT**

**Leela: Okee-dokey. Number one. **

**(Points at a crudely drawn MIR and GIR)**

**Leela: (suddenly has bunny suit on) This is MIR and GIR. Pretty obvious. BUT DEY ARE SO KYOTE**

**Leela: AGREE WITH ME**

**Leela: OR DIE**

**Leela: YOUNG**

**Leela: LOVE**

**Leela: IS**

**Leela: YOUR**

**Leela: LIFE**

**Leela: Makes sense cause they always hang out. But MIR usually acts like a little girl, so maybe she is not capable of anything...and, you know, I bet their kids won't turn out to be doctors...BUT YOUNG LOVE**

**Leela: (points at scribbled out section) This one is one in the IZ fandom. (turns off light, turns on flashlight) ZaDr.**

**(Someone, a woman screams)**

**Leela:...I honestly don't see how that would even WORK. No offense to anyone who likes it, BUT I HAVE PURPLE HAIR SO SCREW YOUR OPINION **

**Leela: (pokes wall for a moment) It would be cute...I guess...BUT LORD ALMIGHTY DONT MAKE IT CANON. (pauses, and thinks.) That would be cute though...DERP DERP**

**Leela: WHOOSH**

**Leela: THESE ALL DONT MAKE SENSE**

**Leela: BECAUSE MY MISTRESS IS A COMPLETE FAIL AT WOMANHOOD**

**Leela: BUT DEY ARE SO CUTE**

**Leela: DON'T DENY ME**

**Leela: (points at hearts with letters on them, many groups of hearts) Four possible romances. **

**Leela: Zim x Amy. I call it...ZaAr! (grins like a maniac) **

**Leela: DON'T YOU SCROLL DOWN AWAY FROM ME**

**Leela: HA**

**Leela: HAHA**

**Leela: HAHAHA**

**Leela: HAHAHAHA**

**Leela: HAHAHAHAHA**

**Leela: HAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Leela: I WILL WIN THIS SCROLLING RACE YOU STUPID**

**Leela: HEE**

**Leela: HEE**

**Leela: HOO**

**Leela: HOO**

**Leela: YOU SHALL NOT LEAVE ME**

**Leela: LOVE IS LIFE**

**Leela: HA**

**Leela: HAHA**

**Leela: GETTING TIRED YET  
><strong>

**Leela: I BET YOU ARE  
><strong>

**Leela: HOO**

**Leela: HOO**

**Leela: HOO**

**Leela: HOO**

**Leela: HIYA**

**Leela: YA**

**Leela: I WILL NEVER FIND LOVE  
><strong>

**Leela: GETTING TIRED HUH**

**Leela: HA**

**Leela: HA**

**Leela: HA**

**Leela: Seriously, this is an epic ship-**

**Leela: NO YOU DONT **

**Leela: I WILL KICK YOUR NUTS SO HARD THEY GO UP YOUR NECK **

**Leela: AND MAKE OUT WITH YOUR HEART**

**Leela: HA!**

**Leela: Of course, now that Amy is completely over love right now this would make no sense...**

**Leela: In the past or present...**

**Leela: NEXT**

**Leela: See now, this one I really don't get. She is like, the LEAST likeable person ALIVE! SHE DOES NOT LIKE SODAS! SODAS! (bangs head and points at Dib x Amy) **

**Leela: Its unrequited, really. Guess which side? (gives you a its-obvious-you-are-stupid look) BUT COME ON**

**Leela: ITS CUTE**

**Leela: SO THERE**

**Leela: And now Amy x bad guy, who is-**

**Molly: (scratches at door)**

**Leela: OH MY GOD. REALLY? REALLY? (opens door) GET IN, DOG.**

**Molly: Grr.**

**Leela: OMEGA! OMEGA! DON'T MESS UP MY METAL, I JUST POLISHED IT. (shies away)**

**Molly: (sniffs wall with disdain, and looks at Leela in disgust.)**

**Leela: Yeah, well, uh...you suck!**

**MIR: (from above the ceiling) NICE COMEBACK, LEE-**

**Leela: SHUT UP**

**MIR: Ahh! Yes ma'am!**

**Leela: You, uh, better go help little doofus, I think she's stuck upstairs.**

**Molly: (grunts and yawns) **

**Leela: Well, is that so? I don't take sass from a dog, Missy!**

**Molly: (shakes head out, and lays down, color jingling.)**

**Leela: YOU SHUT UP**

**Amy: (slams door open, wearing boys boxers and a giant t-shirt, hair a mess, is a human again) WHO IS MAKING ALL THIS NOISE? I AM GOING TO FIND THEM, AND SHOVE THINGS UP THEIR FACES THAT WERE NOT MADE FOR SHOVING UP FACES.**

**Leela: BLAME THE DOG!**

**Molly: (stops licking leg and stares at Leela) Rr?**

**Amy: I DONT CARE WHO STARTED IT, I'M THE ONE EATING THE CHEESE.**

**Leela: (glances at wall, and scrambles to cover it) NOTHING TO SEE HERE. GO TO BED, CHILD.**

**Amy: (looks blearily at wall) Leela?**

**Leela: Y-yes?**

**Amy: What is this?**

**Leela: What? You mean the floor? Ah-heh-heh, its a new...um...coating of dust! You like it?**

**Amy: Not the floor. This. The wall.**

**Leela: (rushes to opposite wall) Yeah, I love walls!**

**Amy: WHATS WITH THE WALL WITH HEARTS ALL OVER IT?**

**Leela: Oh. That. (glances around) WOMANLY ESCAPE! (swoons and falls over, pretending to faint)**

**Amy: This...this is wrong. (stares at wall.) Just...in so many ways. I TOLD YOU, I'M OFFICALLY NOT DATING UNTIL I CAN DRIVE, AND UNTIL THEN I ONLY DROOL OVER ASH KETCHUM, WHOS THE ONLY REMOTELY HUMAN THING I'VE EVER LIKED. ALSO, YOU DRAW LIKE CRAP.**

**Leela: I BEG your pardon?**

**Amy: Pardon. Not. Given.**

**Leela: HOW DARE YOU**

**Milly: (sticks her ginger head in room) Bluh...whats going on? Amy... I told you I have to go back to the boarding school tomorrow. I need my sleep-HOLY #!*% WHAT IS THAT (points at wall)**

**(Amy points at Leela. Leela points at Molly. Molly licks herself.)**

**Milly: THIS WALL WAS CLEAN LAST TIME I SAW IT. WHO DEFILED THIS PIECE OF ART?**

**Amy: WE ALREADY POINTED. DO NOT ASK ME TO RE-POINT.**

**Milly: (eye twitches.) I don't CARE if I have school, THIS ABOMINATION WILL BE REMOVED! (runs off)**

**Amy: Great. She'll be up all night. (glares at Leela)**

**Leela: Eh...heh...**

**Milly: (returns with white paint, brushes, goggles, rubber gloves, plastic wrap, soap, water, and tissues.) CLEAN LADY HAS ARRIVED.**

**Amy: (throttles Leela) YOU! DO! NOT! MESS! UP! A! HOUSE! WITH! SOMEONE! WHO! IS! OCD! INSIDE!**

**Molly: Ruff.**

**Milly: THE DOG IS RIGHT. EVERYONE OUT. AND SHOWER BEFORE GOING BACK TO BED. (pulls down goggles on eyes) **

**(nobody moves)**

**Milly: I**

**Milly: SAID**

**Milly: GET**

**Milly: YOUR**

**Milly: BUTTS**

**Milly: OUT!**

**(everyone runs)**

**Molly: Grunt.**

**Milly: You have much wisdom, I know. Now get out before your hair gets everywhere. (picks up bucket of paint.)**

**Amy: I'm going back to bed. (walks away)**

**Leela: I need coffee. **

**Leela: REAL**

**Leela: BAD**

**MIR: Uh...hello? Can someone please help me? I'm stuck in the attic...again...**

**DERPA DERPA**

**This was a joke.**

**I'm really not putting any sort of romance on this, its just funny because Leela is obsessed with love. **

**And you can bet she'll try to set things up.**

**MATCHMAKIN'  
><strong>


End file.
